


The Memoirs of Richard Dashut

by Cheriluvs10



Category: Fleetwood Mac (Band)
Genre: Buckingham nicks - Freeform, F/M, Friendship, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-17
Updated: 2017-04-17
Packaged: 2018-10-20 05:49:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 38
Words: 74,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10656210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cheriluvs10/pseuds/Cheriluvs10
Summary: Fleetwood Mac.Richard Dashut is not only one of the producers for  Fleetwood Mac, he also knew Lindsey and Stevie before they were famous. These are stories, some funny, some serious, that revolve around Richard and a life spent with the band and the two people he was proud to call his best friends.Buckingham/Nicks fanfic.





	1. Chapter 1

Prologue

Hi. I'm Richard Dashut. Also known as Dick Dash or Disco Dickie Dashut back in the old, old days. You may or may not know me. Generally, people who have heard of me fall into two categories. 

Fleetwood Mac fans or those in the music industry. 

For those who don't know me, I'm best known as one of the producers of Rumours, one of the greatest selling albums of all time, even though I've since accomplished so much more and worked with far more people than just Fleetwood Mac. 

Its been such a wild and fascinating, life that its hard to believe I'm now in my 60s. Jesus, where's the time gone? When I was a young man just starting out and learning the ropes of the music industry, 2017 seemed such a long way off but now I've learned that we really are only here on this Earth for an instant and then we're gone. Not that I'm complaining, mind. I've had a great life and seen so many of my dreams come true. A lot of people aren't that lucky and that's why I feel blessed to have had the kind of life I had.

Still, it always amazes me that a lot of people in the media who were and still are hungry for info about the band members and the sordid details of their lives don't come to me more often. After all, I knew the two most popular members of the band before they even joined it. Lindsey and Stevie may have started out impoverished, living in a tiny apartment and struggling day to day to make ends meet as they followed their dreams, but I was also there for alot of that time struggling right alongside them. I saw a lot of their ups and downs, saw a lot of smiles and tears and heard lots of wonderful music that was always present in our humble home and definately welcomed in my life, especially during the darkest days when only hope and faith in ourselves were keeping us going. 

I've been privy to a lot of things that most people don't know about and seen shit you wouldn't believe, folks. I can claim to have lived with and been best friends with two of the greatest musicians who ever lived, at least in my humble opinion. 

I knew both of them before the world knew their names and gave a damn about them and, as their friend and producer, I'm so proud of what they accomplished and overcame to achieve all their fame and fortune and make it into old age . We all went to Hell and back and lived to tell the tale, which is another thing that amazes me by the way since we certainly did a lot of things to fuck ourselves and our bodies up back then. I consider myself lucky I didn't end up with brain damage, liver disease or dead in a coffin, even though I have to admit I didn't do nearly as much drugs as the rest of the band, not for lack of trying though. 

But what can I say, guys, I was young and dumb then. And those were the times too. Back then drugs and alcohol were more of a norm in the industry than they are today. Nearly everyone was into something from the record executives to the secretaries in the studios. It was considered odd if you were clean and sober in that environment, especially with booze and drugs in copious amounts everywhere you looked so I'm pretty sure we all had guardian angels working overtime back then to keep us alive and intact. 

But anyway, I've decided since I'm now rapidly getting to the point where I'm forced to stare death in the face, I should write down a few of my experiences so they can be saved for posterity before the Grim Reaper silences me forever. Hell, if Caillat can write a book, I can follow suit and write my mini memoirs too, at least for my family and friends anyway. 

So anyway, enough rambling. I won't bore anyone with the early details of my life since that's not what this is about. Instead I'll start this little endeavor of mine off with the day I met the two people who would change the course of my life forever...


	2. Chapter One

Before I begin I will give a little bit of info about my background, a few pertinent details in case someone does read this who doesn't know about me and also to set the scene of my first meeting with Lindsey and Stevie. 

I was born in 1951 here in LA so I lived through the whole flower power era, an interesting time to say the least. But unlike a lot of young people then who were determined to tune in, turn on and drop out, I decided that wasn't my bag and I enrolled in college. For years, I'd had dreams of becoming a musician or doing something in the film industry but since breaking into either one is a huge crap shoot, I chose something I could fall back on so I could at least eat and have a roof over my head while I tried to follow my real heart's desire. 

So after much thought, I settled on a psychology major and philosophy minor. Sounds odd in retrospect but not as odd as Ken going to school to be a lawyer. Somehow I can't picture him wearing a suit and standing in a courtroom while saying, ladies and gentleman of the jury, my client did not stab someone in the head with a fork. 

Anyway, I tried my best to be a good student but my heart was never in it. Like Lindsey and Stevie, I finally decided to drop out and pursue my dreams. My parents nearly shit themselves when I finally worked up the courage to tell them but I assured them that I was not going to fall back on them for room and board and I was going to be a man and make my own money. 

So after much thought, I decided the music industry might be the better bet as opposed to becoming a movie star and after even more thought, I decided not to become a musician. I can sing and play guitar but I'm no Jimi Hendrix and after considering all the jobs the business has to offer, I decided to try my hand at becoming an engineer. I figured if I became good enough at that, I could meet famous musicians as well as help to create fantastic music. 

So, with new found determination, I went around to all the recording studios I could find begging for a job.  I finally got an entry level job at a studio called Sound City where I swept floors, emptied ashtrays, fetched food and drink and sometimes had to clean up vomit from people who'd had a bit too much. 

I worked for a man named Keith Olsen and after he learned I was interested in becoming an engineer, he took me under his wing and started teaching me how to be one when I wasn't busy with my actual job. I was a fast learner and he eventually let me be his assistant on a couple of projects, which didn't pay much but I was grateful for the hands on training. 

So that's where I was when I first met Lindsey and Stevie. They were dirt poor but working on some tracks for what they'd hope would be an album and they visited the studio to see if they could work out a deal for studio time since studio time is extremely expensive. They had just met with Keith inside his studio when I came in for my shift and from there the story starts. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

Richard closed the studio door behind him and immediately got a look at the man and woman standing near it. The woman caught his eye instantly. She was young with long honey blonde hair that fell past her shoulders. She had minimal makeup on but she didn't need much anyway as she was blessed with a natural beauty. Richard was turned on by her and was admiring the view when he noticed the man eyeing him with suspicion, a territorial look that said to Richard that he better stop looking at his girl and mind his own business. Doing just that before he got clobbered, Richard hurried past them to the soundboard where Keith was sitting in one of the swivel chairs looking at some paperwork. He glanced up and smiled at Richard when he sat down in the swivel chair beside him. 

"Morning Richard," he said to him. 

"Mornin'. Um...who are they?" Richard said as he nodded his head at the couple by the door. 

"Lindsey Buckingham and Stevie Nicks. Two musicians from Palo Alto. They were with a band called Fritz when I caught their act in San Fran and afterwards I convinced them to become a duo." 

"Why?" 

Keith chucked softly. "Because they were the only members of the band with any real talent," he said, lowering his voice so the couple couldn't hear. "Now they want to see if I'll produce them and work out some arrangement for studio time once they finish with their demos." 

Richard nodded and lowered his voice to a loud whisper. 

"Gotta say...I really dig Lindsey. She's gorgeous." 

Keith snickered which made Richard frown in return. 

"Hope not, Rich, because Lindsey is the guy and Stevie is the girl." 

Richard was taken aback and leaned in closer to his friend. 

"Stevie? Her parents gave her a guy's name?" 

Keith grinned and shook his head. 

"Nah, real name's Stephanie. Stevie is just a nickname." 

"Okay. But still, not many guys out there named Lindsey." 

Keith shrugged at that one. Richard stole a quick glance back at Stevie and noticed that Lindsey was lighting a joint. Richard watched with interest for a moment as they passed the lighted joint back and forth before turning his attention back to his boss. 

"Need anything done around here," he asked Keith. 

Keith shook his head. 

"Nah. Not at the moment. Don't have anyone coming in for a few hours since I was meeting with them. Hang out for awhile, man. I'll let you know if I need you." 

Richard nodded, hoping he'd say that. Despite the jealous look from Lindsey earlier, he wanted to get to know the couple. They were around his age from the looks of it and they were into pot just like him. Getting up, he put his hands in his jean pockets and sauntered over to them, an amiable smile on his face. Lindsey glanced his way but by now the pot had relaxed him and there was no warning look on his face. Stevie turned her head, watching him approach, and Richard was once again struck by her beauty. 

"Hi. I'm Richard," he said, stopping by Stevie's side. "Mind if I take a hit off your joint?" 

Lindsey smiled and passed the joint to him. Richard took a long drag off it before handing it back to Lindsey. 

"So, are you a musician," Stevie asked Richard, taking the joint from Lindsey after he took another hit from it. 

Richard was momentarily stunned. The woman had a deep smoky voice that was sexy and seductive. Richard was turned on anew and for a split second an image of Stevie screaming his name out as he came into her popped into his mind. He quickly shoved it out of his thoughts as he shook his head. 

"Nah. Aspiring engineer. But mainly I'm just the gofer and janitor right now. How 'bout you guys? You were in a band?"  
Lindsey nodded and passed the joint back to him. 

"Yeah, was," Lindsey said as Richard took another drag on the joint. "Keith over there convinced us to leave and form a duo." 

Richard frowned. The man had a slightly high pitched voice that struck him as mildly funny since his girl had a deep manly voice in comparison. That seemed fitting since the couple each had a name that didn't fit their gender. 

"But anyway, I'm Lindsey and this is my girlfriend, Stevie," Lindsey said, nodding at Stevie while she gave a quick wave to Richard. 

"So, you want to be an engineer? Could you help us score some studio time then?" 

"Uh...I could try but sweeping floors doesn't give me that much clout around here," Richard said. 

"We don't have much money," Lindsey said. "We just moved here from San Fran and our parents refuse to help us financially since we went against their wishes and dropped out of college." 

Richard let out a ruthful chuckle and nodded. 

"Yeah, I did the same thing," he said. "And I'm not exactly making money hand over fist working here. I'm mainly doing this to learn the engineering side of it." 

"Move in with us then," Stevie suddenly blurted out. 

Both men looked at her, surprised. 

"Move in with us,"Lindsey said to her. "Babe, we barely know him." 

"Yeah but, we can help one another," Stevie said. "Look, maybe if we all band together, we can survive long enough to achieve our goals, us as musicians and him as an engineer. We have room in our house, Lindsey." 

"We do?" 

"Okay, maybe not a ton of room but we have a room where he could sleep," Stevie said, hooking her thumb at Richard. "And since I'm the only one working, his income would be a great help." 

So far Richard had been silent, floored by the thought that people he'd barely known for a half hour would want him to move in with them. However, upon hearing that this man, who seemed to him to be fully capable of holding down a job, was living off his girlfriend instead made him suddenly suspicious of their motives. 

"Why are you not working," he said to Lindsey as delicately as he could. 

"He's working on our music," Stevie said. "We decided he'd be more useful that way so I support us both while he works on our demos." 

Richard felt better about that. Even though he still thought it a bit unfair for Lindsey to let his girlfriend pull all the weight, he understood their reasoning. 

"What is your job then," he asked Stevie. 

"Hostess at a restaurant. But I did tell Keith I could clean his house for studio time if he'd allow that." 

Richard admired that. A woman who had one job, was willing to take on another and then record demos on top of it while letting her boyfriend stay home to be a musician. She had drive and determination in spades, that was for sure. 

"Do you live in an apartment," Stevie asked him. 

"Yeah but actually my lease is up this month and I was just about to renew it." 

Stevie glanced at Lindsey. 

"Would you like to move in with us," Stevie said. "Split the rent 50/50 and help with food?" 

Richard considered this. 

"Where do you live?" 

"West Hollywood," Lindsey said. "Little house we're renting. Not much but it beats the streets." 

"Beats my pad. Dingy rathole near here that's practically a firetrap." 

"Come and live with us then," Stevie said. "You seem like a nice guy. You are, I mean, right? You're not a serial killer or anything?" 

Richard had to grin at that. 

"If I was," he teased, "would I tell you?" 

"Um...no, I guess not," Stevie said, annoyed as both men sniggered.

"No," Richard said, grinning. "I'm not a serial killer, a maniac, Charles Manson or anything like that. In fact, I've only ever had a couple of speeding tickets to my name. You're not serial killers, are you?" 

"No," Stevie said, shaking her head. 

"I am on the weekends," Lindsey said, raising his index finger. "But I only kill squirrels so you're safe." 

Richard chortled at that. He liked these two a lot and he felt like he could live with them without the three of them eventually killing each other. 

"Okay, if you want to do this, I will," Richard said to them. 

Stevie beamed at him and gave out a little girlish squeal that Richard found endearing. She looked at Lindsey. Lindsey looked at Richard, seeing the question in his girl's eyes and smiled. 

"Okay by me," he said to Richard. "You seem like a nice guy and besides my woman calls the shots in the household. Plus, she's good at reading people so if she trusts you so do I." 

"Well, I'll certainly do everything I can to earn that trust," Richard said with a nod, pleased that he'd not only gained two new friends but also a better place to live. 

Stevie asked him what time he was getting off work as she fumbled around in her purse for paper and pen. Finding some, she jotted down the directions to their house after finding out Richard had a car. By the time she was done, Keith was ready for them and Richard took the scrap of paper from them and read it over silently while they walked over to talk with him. He smiled to himself as he studied the directions, not knowing that by accepting this friendly offer his life was about to take a very wild turn.


	3. Chapter Two

So that was it. Our first meeting and I ended up getting stoned with them, which should have been an omen of things to come. Not to mention the speed at which I was suddenly their roommate but hey, we were all desperate, not to mention stoned. But as you can see, it all worked out in the end for the three of us so maybe Stevie really is psychic as some people claim. But I ended up moving from squalor into more squalor but at least it was squalor with friends now. 

Plus, no longer having to shoulder all the rent was a huge relief to me. And my new friends were cool, although there was a hint of the trouble between them that would erupt into full blown animosity later. But at this time it wasn't so bad that I felt like running from the house screaming at the top of my lungs. 

Both Stevie and I worked while Lindsey stayed at home and worked on their music. Stevie was a hostess during the day, worked on their music at night and cleaned Keith's house one day a week in exchange for studio time. The woman must have been operating on pure adrenaline at that time since this was before the days of cocaine. 

As for me, I worked during the day but as I got better at being an engineer, I was given more assistant duties so there were times when I worked till nearly midnight or even later. I suppose that was preparation for all the long hours with Fleetwood Mac but long hours are a norm anyway. 

So, there were times when I got home so late I didn't see my friends at all. Most nights they were at Lindsey's father's coffee plant where they worked on the demos in his dad's office. But there were times when I had a day off or got home early enough to see them and i want to write about some of those memories now. I'm going to start off with some humorous ones since I prefer to dwell on those memories rather than the hellish memories.

So I'll share a few of those now. Since I saw Lindsey more frequently during my time there, I'll start with him.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Richard got out of his car, exhausted. It had been a half day at the studio because the band members Keith was working with got into a coke fueled fight halfway through their session and even though Richard was doing his usual duties at this time, Keith called him in to help calm everyone down and mediate. 

It was futile and they finally gave up and ordered everyone out. The band members stomped out enraged and Keith told Richard to go home before he also left. 

Exhausted by several days of long hours and having to deal with a pissed off coked up band, he climbed the steps to the porch, figuring he'd get a quick bite to eat, take a quick shower and fall into bed.  
He was shocked when he opened the front door, stepped into the living room and saw Lindsey sitting on the sofa in nothing but his underwear. Pot smoke hung in the air like a cloud and Lindsey was staring off into space with a dreamy look.

"Um...Lindsey, did you forget to do something this morning?" Richard said as he shut the door behind him.

Lindsey slowly turned his head toward him and a goofy smile spread over his face.

"Richard! Whatcha doin' home," he drawled.

"I was given the day off. What are you doing?"

"Gettin' baked, man. Completely baked."

"And is that why you have no clothes on?"

Lindsey looked down at his nearly naked body and grinned up at him.

"Exercising my right as king as the castle, Rich," Lindsey drawled.

Richard was perplexed.

"And what right is that," he said.

"Why, the right to be comfortable in my own home, my friend."

"And you can't be comfortable in clothes?"

"I can but my old lady ain't home right now and I'm gonna be comfy as long as she's gone. Wanna split a joint with me?"

Richard looked at the ashtray on the sofa beside his friend and noticed he'd already smoked his fair share of joints, not to mention two empty bottles of Budweiser on the table beside the sofa. He was going to decline but realized a joint would relax him and calm his frazzled nerves before sleeping so he nodded and joined his friend on the sofa while Lindsey rolled a joint for them.

Lindsey was about to finish task when he suddenly stopped and eyed Richard. Richard frowned, wondering what was wrong. 

"What," Richard said after thirty seconds of nonstop staring. "What's wrong?"

"Aren't you gonna do it?"

"Do what?" 

Lindsey gestured to Richard's clothes.

"Get comfy," Lindsey said to him with a duh look on his face.

Richard raised his eyebrows along with his hands.

"Whoa, I'm not into men," he said.

Lindsey sighed.

"I know that, Rich," he said in a condescending tone of voice. "I'm saying we can get comfortable while Stevie is away. What she doesn't know won't hurt her. Relax."

He took a drag on the joint and passed it to Richard.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

A few hours later, Stevie drove up the hilly road to their house, exhausted from working her shift and getting some groceries after work. She grabbed the bag of groceries, left the car and headed for the front door. She held the bag with one arm around it while she opened the door.

She took two steps inside and froze. Her mouth dropped open when she saw Lindsey and Richard sitting upright on the sofa, both of them fast asleep. Several empty beer bottles were around them and an ashtray filled with the remains of joints was between them. 

Disturbingly, both men were clad only in their underwear. Stevie stood there, taking in everything while pot smoke filled her nostrils. For a moment, she thought about waking them and asking them what the hell was going on before shaking her head.

"Nah, I have a feeling if I find out the reason why they are in their underwear, I'll regret it," she muttered, heading past them towards the kitchen.


	4. Chapter Three

Chapter Three  
Um...yeah. Obviously not one of my best moments there. To be clear, I didn't just sit down and peel off my clothes, although that's what Lindsey wanted. No, it took a few beers and joints before I finally submitted to peer pressure and stripped down to my skivvies. And then I fell asleep on top of it, ugh. But as I mentioned, I was exhausted to begin with and the beers, joints and comfy couch just helped me along. Interestingly, Stevie asked me what happened and told me what she saw when she walked in the door which is how I knew what she said when she walked past us. She never mentioned the incident to Lindsey for some reason or asked him why he was in his tighty whiteys. Maybe she figured I wouldn't give her some bullshit story about it like he would. I'm not sure, just a guess, but after that, Lindsey never tried that stunt again, at least not while I lived with him.

 

That didn't mean he wasn't prone to trying other stunts. Even though Lindsey was honestly working on their songs, he didn't do that every moment Stevie was gone and when he was idle, his mind was prone to thinking up pranks, especially if friends were around. Which is what happened one day when I happened to be home on another day off. I wanted to use that day to rest in my room but Lindsey had other ideas for me.

 

Oh, before I begin to tell the story I want to make a couple of things clear. First, Lindsey is a very open minded person. He's not racist as far as I can tell, he only did what he did in order to punk Stevie.

 

Second, Kowloon Chinese Restaurant was a place we frequented. They had great food and this drink called a Scorpion Bowl which was a huge bowl of alcohol with huge straws in it that was meant to be shared. Me and my friends would always order that, get drunk together and I would frequently pass out at the table afterwards to everyone's amusement.  
We also got in frequent food fights there and by the time we left the building, noodles, chow mein and dumplings were plastured all over the walls. 

Surprisingly, we were never kicked out or arrested or barred from the restaurant for life. Lord knows why we weren't though. I guess we were tolerated because we were regulars and we always ordered a lot of food, even though half that food usually ended up as projectiles in our drunken wars.

 

But I digress. On with the story.

 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

 

Richard gasped when he heard pounding on his bedroom door. He was home for the day and was in his bedroom with the door shut, trying to sleep. He had almost drifted off when the pounding began. 

 

"Richard, you awake?" Lindsey said through the door.

 

Richard breathed an annoyed sigh through his nose.

 

"Yeah, I'm awake," he called out.

 

"Come out here, I have an idea."

 

Richard raised his eyebrow as he stared up at the ceiling.

 

"Oh Lord, I can just imagine the kind of idea Lindsey has in mind," he muttered to himself.

 

"Richard, you comin' out, man?"

 

Knowing the pounding wouldn't stop until he left the bedroom, Richard called out that he was coming out before sitting up. Unlike Stevie and Lindsey's bed. His bed was complete, not just a mattress like they had, so he could sit on the side of it and not be inches away from the floor. Unfortunately the pounding continued as he tried to wake up fully, so with a soft growl deep in his throat, he got up, threw a white t-shirt on, glanced down at his blue boxers and deciding that was good enough for Lindsey, went to the door and opened it. 

The annoyed look on his face instantly dampened the excitement on Lindsey's and Lindsey gave him a sheepish look in return. 

 

"Sorry," he said to Richard, "I just thought you'd like to join in on a prank."

 

"Prank for who?"

 

"Stevie."

 

Richard was surprised.

 

"She's home?," he said, leaning out his bedroom door and looking around.

 

"No. She's still at work."

 

"So...you want to prank her when she comes home then."

 

"No. I'm gonna call the restaurant with a prank phone call."

 

Richard hadn't been living with the couple for very long but he'd lived there long enough to see Stevie's temper in action and her wrath wasn't a pretty sight.

 

"Uh-uh," Richard said, holding up his hands, "I don't want your angry girlfriend comin' after me."

 

"No man, I'm gonna do it. I just want you to watch."

 

"And if she finds out it's you?"

 

"I...run?"

 

"Yeah, that's the understatement of the year," Richard said dryly.

 

"Just...watch. If she says anything, I'll tell her you had nothing to do with it."

 

Richard wasn't convinced by that. But he figured since he and Stevie kept roughly the same work hours, he could always say he was at work when it happened. Knowing Lindsey would keep pestering him with this, he resigned himself, hoping it wouldn't take long so he could get back to sleep. 

He followed Lindsey into the living room and noticed Lindsey already had two open bottles of beer waiting for them. He took one when Lindsey offered it to him and sat down beside him on the sofa. While Lindsey reached over to the table beside it and grabbed the phone. Stevie's little poodle, Ginny, came into the room. Richard grinned and petted her while Lindsey grabbed the phone book. Ginny hopped up on the sofa and settled down beside Richard while Lindsey found the number for Stevie's workplace.

 

With morbid curiosity, Richard watched as Lindsey dialed the number and waited. He heard faint ringing through the receiver for a few seconds before someone picked up. He heard a faint male voice saying the name of the restaurant before asking if he could help them. Lindsey grinned and took a deep breath.

 

"HERRO," he screamed with a loud, stereotypical Chinese accent that made Ginny jerk her head up in alarm. "ME WANT TO TALK TO STEVIE NICKS PREASE!"

 

Richard stared at Lindsey in complete shock. Ginny was now standing on Richard's lap watching Lindsey intently and he swore the dog was probably thinking what the hell right along with him. He listened and heard nothing but silence coming from the receiver.

 

"Who is this," he finally heard the man saying with an angry tone of voice.

 

"ME WING CHONG CHANG. ME OWNER KOWROON LESTAULANT. ME WANT TO TALK TO STEVIE NICKS!"

 

"Listen, asshole," Richard heard the man saying.

 

"ME NO ASSHORE, ME WING CHONG CHANG. ME WANT TO TALK TO STEVIE NICKS NOW!"

 

Richard sat there with Ginny who was now sniffing the side of Richards's bottle. Richard watched Lindsey while he imagined the ass kicking his friend would receive when his girlfriend got home.

 

Richard figured the man, who he guessed was either the owner or manager, would hang up on them. But instead, to his surprise, the man asked Lindsey to wait a moment. He heard a soft clatter as the man's receiver was laid down on something. Lindsey looked at him.

 

"Wow, he's going to get her," 

Lindsey said, as shocked as he was.

 

Richard snorted.

 

"Yeah. Probably to verify it's you so he can send the cops over here," he said.

 

"Nah. He wouldn't do that. Maybe he believes me."

 

Richard snorted even louder.

 

"Sure, Lindsey. Because all Chinese usually talk like they're deaf and retarded," he said before taking a sip of beer.

 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

Stevie lit up a cigarette after settling into a metal folding chair in the restaurant's break room. She took a long drag on it, grateful to have the chance to rest her aching feet after a few hours. She exhaled the smoke through her nose and smiled when her friend Doris entered the room. Doris greeted her and sat down beside her.

 

"Shit, rough morning," Doris said to Stevie. "Bratty little kid got ketcup on the back of my outfit while I was serving him and his family. And Brian The Asshole yelled at me for it like I did it to myself."

 

Stevie nodded. Brian was one of the managers and everyone hated him because he was an arrogant, hateful asshole that liked ordering everyone around like they were his slaves. He looked down on anyone that wasn't management or above and Stevie sometimes envied the fact that Lindsey got to stay home while she had to put up with him. 

 

"Just ignore him. He's on a power trip as usual," Stevie said before taking another drag on her cigarette.

 

"Nicks..."

 

Stevie and Doris looked at the door and saw Brian standing there. Stevie swallowed hard, hoping he hadn't heard their conversation.

 

"Yes, sir," Stevie said.

 

"Phone call for you. Some guy from Kowloon Restaurant or something like that."

 

Stevie's eyes widened. She, Lindsey and Richard had been there two nights ago with friends and had gotten drunk and made a mess as usual. She wondered if the owner had somehow tracked her down so he could arrest them all for vandalism and disorderly conduct. She pushed that thought from her mind, stamped out her cigarette in the ashtray in front of her, stood up and headed towards the door figuring Brian would step aside. Instead, her manager crossed his arms over his chest and glowered at her.

 

"I don't know who this is, Nicks, but you still get fifteen minutes of break time and only fifteen minutes so keep that in mind when you're chit-chatting away. And no personal calls are permitted, this is a place of business, not a social club. Got that?"

 

"Yes, sir," Stevie said, holding back the urge to deck the pompous expression off his face.

 

She ignored the disdain on his face as she squeezed past him into the tiny corridor. She was incensed that the man didn't even show her the courtesy of stepping aside so she could pass. That, the lecture and the stressful day made her temper flare by the time she walked down the tiny corridor to the manager's office. Through the open door she could see a metal desk on the right side with the phone receiver lying on its side in the middle. She walked over, picked it up and put it to her ear.

 

"Hello," she said.

 

"YOU STEVIE NICKS?"

 

Stevie gasped and jerked the phone away from her ear when someone screamed into it.

 

"YOU STEVIE NICKS," the voice repeated.

 

Stevie narrowed her eyes, guessing who the voice belonged to. She put the receiver back against her ear.

 

"This better not be you, Lindsey," she growled.

 

"ME NO RINSEY. ME WING CHONG CHANG! ME OWNER KOWROOM LESTELANT. ME WANT TO TARK TO YOU!"

 

Stevie rolled her eyes.

 

"Lindsey, I don't have time for this shit," she said, wishing she could reach through the receiver and punch him.

 

"ME NO RINSEY..."

 

"Yeah, fine whatever, what do you want, Wing Chong Chang," Stevie sneered.

 

"ME WANT YOUR TITTIES! TITTIES GOOD! ME SUCK ALL DAY RONG"

 

Stevie gasped when she heard the other phone slam down followed by the dial tone.

 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

Richard sat there mutely, too shocked to speak, while Lindsey bent over laughing at his own prank.

 

"You are dead meat tonight, Buckingham," Richard said when he finally found his voice.

 

"Nah, man, she'll calm down before she gets home," Lindsey said as he straightened back up.

 

"Sure she will and now if you'll excuse me..."

 

Lindsey frowned when Richard stood up.

 

"Going back to bed, man," Lindsey said.

 

"No, I'm going to Disneyland."

 

"Disneyland? Why Disneyland?"

 

"Dunno. Seems like a fun place to spend the day off. And its far away. Anaheim is far from here. So...might stay all day since its a long drive. There's fireworks at night too. Might stay for those. Be a lot prettier and start later than the fireworks that'll start here in a few hours. So...won't be back till late, very late. See ya."

 

Lindsey watched as he walked into his bedroom and shut the door behind him. He looked down at Ginny who was sitting on the sofa beside him.

 

"He's not going to Disneyland," Lindsey said while Ginny wagged her tail at the sound of his voice. "He'll probably go to some titty bar, get drunk and stuff money down some girl's bikini while he drools at her. Yeah, that's more Rich's style. How bout you, wanna go find something to eat?"

 

Ginny's tail wagged furiously. Lindsey chuckled, rubbed her head and both he and the dog got off the sofa and headed towards the kitchen.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Four

Okay, for the record, my bedroom door opens to the living room so I could hear everything Wing Chong Chang said about me going to a titty bar. Which is not true. I didn't go to Disneyland either. I wouldn't have minded it but I couldn't afford the gas to make the trip to Anaheim plus pay for park admission and the ride ticket book you had to have back then. 

I didn't stay home because I was sure a shitstorm was coming once Stevie got there so I decided to go to Keith's house for the evening. I thought about moving on to another event in my life while writing this story but I need to put this in because what happened at Keith's house that night was another major thing that would affect the course of my life.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Richard stopped at a pay phone halfway to Keith's house and called him. Keith picked up on the forth ring and Richard asked if it was cool for him to come over and stay for the evening. 

"Sure, buddy. In fact," Keith said, "I was going to invite you over anyway. I have someone you should meet. I think you'll have a lot to talk about."

"Really? Who?"

"Name's Ken. Ken Caillat. He's an aspiring engineer also. Works at Wally Heider though. He got his start sweeping up too so I thought you might like to meet him."

Richard's interest was peaked. He asked Keith if he needed to bring anything and when he was told to just come over, he finished the conversation, hung up, got in his car and drove on.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

For a few hours it was just Richard and Keith at his house. They sipped a couple of beers and watched Rio Bravo on the living room television to pass the time.

Keith was having a barbecue and was inviting a large group of people. He had planned on inviting Stevie and Lindsey too until Richard told him what happened earlier. 

Keith chuckled and shook his head when Richard finished his story.

"Yeah. I better not invite them then," Keith said. "Last thing I want is for the argument to happen over here."

"Yeah, plus they usually have make up sex after a fight," Richard said.

"That happen often?" Keith said.  
Richard swallowed a mouthful of beer.

"Often enough I can predict it'll happen after an argument."

"You hear em? The sex noises, I mean," Keith said with interest.

"Not really. Their bedroom is on the other side of the living room from me and their mattress is on the floor. No headboard and box springs."

"Really? Lindsey told me he lived in a gated community one time. His dad owns a coffee plant. And Stevie's dad runs Greyhound Bus. Their parents aren't helping them out?" 

Richard shook his head.

"The parents weren't too pleased they dropped out of college to become full time musicians," he said.

Keith's mouth formed an O.

"Gotcha," he said. "Mommy and Daddy will only help if the kiddies obey their wishes."

Richard grinned and nodded. Keith chuckled and clapped him on the shoulder. 

"Come on, Rich," he said, "Let's get the fire started in the grill."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

By the time the burgers were on the grill, the others started arriving. Among them were Walter Egan, Warren Zevon, John Stewart and Tom Montcrief. Richard circulated around the room, talking to them and the others who were slowly arriving. So far, Richard knew everyone there so no sign of Ken. 

After about a half hour, the doorbell rang for the last time. Richard looked around when no one answered it and didn't see Keith anywhere. Figuring he was out back on the pool patio tending to the grill, Richard took it upon himself to answer the door. Already the living room was packed and as he weaved and squeezed his way past people, he could see a few were already a few beers shy of being flat out drunk. A cloud of weed smoke hung heavy in the air like the smog over LA and it filled Richard's nostrils as he got to the door. That and the beers he'd consumed gave him a pretty good buzz but he was a lot more sober than some of the people there.

He opened the door and saw an unfamiliar man standing there. He was around Richard's age with brown hair that was parted in the middle and hung down the sides of his face to his shoulders. He had a full beard that softened the contours of that face and a warm, friendly smile that Richard returned.

"Are you...Ken," Richard asked.

"Yes, I am," he replied with a deep voice.

"Richard Dashut," he said, extending his hand to him.

"Nice to meet ya," Ken replied, shaking it. "Ken Caillat."

Richard stepped aside, let him enter and closed the door behind them. Ken stood in the entryway and a low whistle drifted from his lips as he looked around. Richard came up beside him.

"So...um...know many people here," he asked Ken.

"Just Keith, really. And that's only because he knows my boss. We met through him. You know anyone here?"

"Yeah, I know everyone."

Ken's eyebrows shot up and he looked around the living room.  
"Everyone? Man, there must be at least 35, 40 people here," Ken said, impressed "Are they all in the music industry?"

"Most are. Some are Keith's neighbors and some are longtime friends. People he's known from childhood and school and stuff like that."

"You're an engineer too, right? Or want to be, anyway. Keith told me a little about you," Ken said as they walked through the living room to a table on the other side of it that was filled with sodas and beer. "Said you're training with him while you sweep and do janitorial work at Sound City."

Richard nodded. He picked up a two-liter bottle of Coke, poured it into a plastic cup and added some ice from a cooler beside the table that also had bottles of beer in it. Ken took one of the beers and used a bottle opener on the table to flip off the bottlecap. 

"You do the same," Richard said when they finished. "Sweeping, I mean."

"Yeah. Boring work but it pays the bills." 

Richard nodded in agreement. Just then, Keith stuck his head in the doorway beside them and announced supper was ready. Ken followed Richard as everyone made their way outside.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Ken ended up spending most of his time with Richard that evening, although Richard took him around and introduced him to most of the guests. But in the end, the two of them retreated with paper plates heaped with food to a couple of wooden deck chairs near the diving board and sat down. They talked shop for a bit, discussing the technical side of engineering and comparing their studios and bosses before moving on to personal stuff. Richard found out that Ken had also dropped out of law school to pursue his dreams.

"Law," Richard said, grinning after Ken told him that. "Gonna be the next Perry Mason then?"

Ken snorted.

"My parents hoped so. My heart wasn't in it though. What about you? College also?"

"Yeah. Psychology."

"Ooooh, gonna be the next Sigmund Freud then," Ken said, imitating Richard's voice.

He smiled when Richard chuckled. 

"Well, either that or the next Plato. Philosophy minor also."

"So...when you weren't going to ramble out Freudish jargon at your clients, you were going to throw them a bit of worldly wisdom from the ages then?"

"Yeah. Figured Kierkegaard and Jung would make a good combination," Richard said with a toothy grin.

As they continued to talk, Richard found out his new friend lived in a tiny apartment with his beagle named Scooter. He mentioned he lived with a couple in their house and when he did, Ken glanced around at the people still out by the pool.

"Are they here," Ken asked. "The people you live with, I mean."

Richard shook his head.

"Nah. Couldn't come. Too busy," Richard said, wondering if a fight had occurred and if it did, was it over now.

Ken nodded. 

"So amazing,"he murmured as he looked around at the others around the pool.

"What is," Richard asked.

"Being here. Being at a party like this."

"You've never been to a party before?"

"No, I have. I just have never been to one with people in the business."

"Really?"

Ken took a sip of beer and nodded.

"First time smooshing with musicians and engineers like this. I mean, I've only recently got good enough to be an assistant, let alone hobnob with industry people. If I hadn't met Keith, I wouldn't be here now."

"Well, I'm glad you did and you are here," Richard said sincerely.

Ken studied him for a moment and smiled before nodding.  
"I can definitely see you being a shrink," he said.

"Why's that?"

"Because you're a people person. You're the type of person who makes friends easily and gets along with a lot of different types. You made friends with me, showed me around, introduced me to people and made me feel at home. That kind of personality is good for helping people with their problems."

Richard shrugged.

"Always been that way. Always had lots of friends and was a good little boy in school."

"Until you went to college and grew your hair long as an act of rebellion," Ken said, pointing to Richard's dark hair that fell down just past his shoulders.

Richard smiled.

"Yeah. Figured I'd better get the hippie thing out of my system before I'd have to be a shrink and go conservative."

"Oh I don't know about that. Some of the crazies might have enjoyed having a Jim Morrison type as their shrink."

"Really? Jim Morrison?"

Ken nodded.

"Yeah. You kinda look like him with the long hair and everything."

Richard grinned at that.

"Well, you kinda look like Pat Boone, so...sorry," Richard said with a twinkle in his eye.

"I do not," Ken said, feigning outrage. "Everyone knows I look like Lawrence Welk. Oh shit, sorry," Ken said when Richard snorted beer out his nose at that. 

"S'alright. I always enjoy the scent of beer whenever I breathe," Richard said.

Ken chuckled, liking him immensely. They continued to talk for most of the night and at the end of the party, they exchanged addresses and telephone numbers, promising to keep in touch. Both Richard and Ken kept themselves relatively sober so they could drive home. 

As Richard left the house though, he noticed others weren't so conscientious and as he watched some of them stagger to their cars in an inebriated state, he sat inside his and waited till most of them had gone before he turned on his car and carefully drove home.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Five

Ah, Ken. One of the greatest friends I've ever had. To this day, we are still very close and I feel like he's my brother. I'm so glad I had the presence of mind to bring him along when I was asked to be the engineer for Rumours. Especially when things got bad, then and in the years afterward. To have a friend there for support and camaraderie when things were falling apart was a godsend and I knew I'd never have gotten through all of it without him there. 

But moving along with the story, I did make it home safety that night and by the time I did get there, it was nearly one in the morning. The house was dark so I quietly let myself inside. I thought maybe Lindsey and Stevie might be at the coffee plant but when I checked their room, I noticed only Stevie was there in bed, fast asleep with Ginny curled up by her side. I searched the house and the yard but didn't see any sign of Lindsey. This I took to mean there had been a huge fight and Lindsey was staying elsewhere tonight. I didn't bother with a shower or coffee or a snack, I just went to my room, changed into boxers and went to bed.

I was asleep a couple of hours when I was awakened.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Richard?"

Richard frowned in his sleep momentarily before he drifted back into his dreams.

"Richard?"

This time he heard his name clearly enough to come awake and be able to speak.

"Huh," he mumbled with his eyes still closed.

"Can I talk to you for a minute?"

Now he was awake enough to know it was Stevie speaking. He opened one bleary eye and gazed at her standing in his doorway. He opened the other eye and slowly lifted his head up off the pillow.

"What...what d'ya need?" 

Stevie lowered her head.

"I'm sorry I'm waking you up,"she said, staring at the floor. "Its just that Lindsey and me got in a huge fight when I got home and he stormed out the door and left me here."

Richard yawned and sat up in bed. He pointed to the end of it and Stevie walked over and sat down. Ginny followed her inside and Richard grinned and patted her head when she got to the side of the bed and got up on her hind legs to watch them.

"Isn't that a good thing though," Richard said as he put Ginny up onto the bed. "If he leaves, he'll have time to cool off."

"Yeah but he threw everything back at me when I confronted him with his stunt and told him to grow up and stop acting childish. Said I should learn to take a joke. Damn it, Richard, my asshole boss could have fired me over this and he's acting like it was nothing. I'm the one keeping his ass housed and fed here. What's he gonna do if I lose my job and we lose the house? I certainly wouldn't ask you to support us so there go our dreams of being musicians. He doesn't think, Richard, or at least there's times when he only thinks of himself."

Richard nodded. This was nothing new to him. In fact, because of his psychology training, he'd thought that Lindsey was codependant and probably at the very least had narcissistic traits if he didn't have full blown narcissism. He also saw some of that in Stevie too but he kept that analysis to himself. Most of his musician friends were a bit narcissitic but that wasn't unusual if your dream was to be a star and be acknowledged and worshipped by fans. He'd not only been taught the signs of the disorder in his college courses but also how to deal with it so it'd never been a problem for him being around those types of people. However, if his friends were narcissistic, Lindsey was definitely more affected by it, at least from what he'd observed so far in his relationship with the duo.

"I know, Stevie, but I don't think he meant any real harm by it. He was bored and wanted something to do to relieve it."

"Well he needs to stick to playing guitar and leave me alone when I'm working."

She studied him for a moment.

"Were you here? Did you see him do it?"

Richard hesitated and Stevie, reading into that, smiled at him gently.

"I'm not mad at you or anything. I know once Lindsey makes up his mind to do something there's no stopping him."

Richard relaxed at that, knowing he wasn't going to be jumped on for not stopping the prank.

"Yeah, was trying to sleep since it was my day off but Lindsey wanted an audience to watch him," he said, mentally ticking off another trait of narcissists inside his brain. "I told him to stop but like you said, did no good."

"Where did you go then?"

Richard again hesitated.

"Keith threw a party," he said sheepishly. "I told him what happened. He was going to invite you and Lindsey but not if you were going to fight. Sorry," he added, feeling guilty that he'd had a good time all evening while his friend was dealing with her pissed off boyfriend. 

Stevie nodded.

"It's okay," she said, sensing Richard's unease, "even if nothing happened tonight, I still was too tired to go to a party. Did you have fun?"

"Yeah, met a new guy named Ken. We ended up becoming friends."

"That's great," Stevie said with a huge smile, "musician?"

"Sorta. He does play guitar and sing but he's training to be an engineer like me."

Stevie brightened.

"At Sound City?"

"No. Wally Heider."

"Well I hope you keep in touch."

"Yeah, me too. He gave me his address and phone..."

He fell silent when he heard a key turning in the front door lock. Richard glanced at his clock and noticed it was nearly four in the morning. Both he and Stevie sat in silence on the bed as they heard the front door open and close. Richard looked at Stevie in the gloom. The moon was out and from the little bit of light that was coming through his bedroom window, he could see dread on her face. His heart went out to her and he took her hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze while they watched Lindsey move through the darkened living room towards their bedroom. The bedroom was down a short hallway on the other side of the living room with the bathroom next door to it, closet on the other side of the hall and the kitchen at the end. Lindsey went into the bedroom, came out and checked the bathroom and kitchen before heading towards Richard's room. Stevie stiffened as Lindsey approached and Richard squeezed her hand again, hoping he wouldn't have to jump in the middle of another fight and stop them.

Lindsey peered inside and his eyes locked on Stevie. Richard tensed, hoping he wouldn't start accusing Stevie of sleeping with him. He could see Lindsey's gait was steady and his eyes were focused. If he'd had anything to drink or any drugs, the effects had worn off.

"Babe?"

Richard relaxed when he heard Lindsey's calm voice as he spoke to his girl. 

"Yeah," Stevie said hesitantly.  
"Everything alright?"

"It's fine, Lindsey, I was just talking to Richard...nothing more," she added for emphasis.

"Baby, I'm sorry. I really am," Lindsey said, stepping into the room while Richard turned on the bedside lamp, "I went to a friend's house to sleep but I couldn't stop thinking about you and missing you. Finally couldn't stand it anymore and came back here. I'm sorry," he said, looking at the floor.

Ginny jumped off the bed and hurried to him. Lindsey smiled and rubbed her back before looking up at Stevie, pleading silently for understanding.

Stevie glanced at Richard and sighed.

"I could have been fired today, Lindsey," she said as calmly as she could. "My boss hates me as it is without adding fuel to the fire."

Lindsey nodded, chastised.

"I'm sorry," he said. "I really am. Please forgive me."

Stevie let out a weary sigh.

"I forgive you, Lindsey, but you need to think things through before you do shit like this. Plus, you bothered Richard when he was trying to sleep on his day off. He works hard too, you know."

Lindsey nodded.

"Sorry, man," he said to Richard.

"It's okay," Richard said, relieved this was being addressed and resolved instead of being left unsaid.

He suspected though his presence was keeping them both calm and their tempers in check lest they embarrass themselves by having another shouting match in front of their friend. He didn't know if Lindsey was truly sorry or if he was saying that to get Stevie to forgive and come back to bed with him but at four in the morning, he really didn't care.

"Will you come to bed with me, please," Lindsey said to Stevie.

Stevie sighed and nodded and Lindsey smiled. 

"I'll be there in a moment, okay?" 

Lindsey nodded. He walked over and kissed her tenderly on the chhek before looking at Richard.

"Night, buddy," Lindsey said to him, "Don't dream of large breasted women without me there."

"Ha ha! Yeah right," Richard said, grinning, as Stevie smiled and shook her head at that. "You have a good night too, man. Don't dream of a huge banana split without me eating it with you."

"Eating a banana? Richard, you dirty bastard," Lindsey said, punching his friend lightly in the shoulder. "Come, my queen, to bed!"

"Be there in a moment, my leige," Stevie said as Lindsey turned and walked out of the room.

She waited till he was across the living room before turning her attention back to Richard.

"Thanks for listening and understanding ," she said to him. 

"Anytime," he said, smiling warmly.

"I'm sorry I woke you up."

"That's okay. I'm just glad peace has been restored in the household."

Stevie nodded. She glanced over and when she saw Lindsey wasn't around, she leaned forward and gave Richard a peck on the cheek.

"You would have made a great psychologist," she said, leaning back.

"Ken said that too."

"Good. I'm glad someone agrees with me then. Well, better get to bed before Prince Charming turns into the dragon again. Good night, Richard."

"Good night, pleasant dreams."

"Yeah, dream of large breasted women," Stevie said dryly.

Richard chuckled, gave her hand a squeeze and let go. He watched while Stevie walked out the door with Ginny following her. When they went into their bedroom, he turned off the light, sighed and lay back down. He snuggled under the covers and ten minutes later was back to sleep.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Six 

Again, just to clear things up, Stevie and I had a platonic relationship. There has been speculation over the years about who has been Stevie's lovers but I assure you I'm not one of them. I did and do think she's gorgeous and I wouldn't have said no to a relationship if she wanted it but then again, there are lots of men all over the world who feel the same way. I think I can speak for them as well as myself that we are all drawn to Stevie's charisma. Unlike some people in the business, Stevie was born to be a star. She has a natural  magnetism that people can't help but be drawn to. I was the same way at first, mesmerized by her beauty and presence but unlike her fans who yell out at concerts that they want to screw her, I got to know her and saw the woman behind the rock goddess. In fact, I knew her before she was the rock goddess and I came to care for her in a brotherly way rather than trailing after her, drooling, oogling at her ass and imagining how many Kama Sutra positions I could use on her. She's got more to her than just her body, thank heavens. 

Besides, she loved Lindsey and that was that. Despite all these other lovers she had, she only had eyes for him and he for her. When they were Buckingham Nicks, they recorded a song called Without You that I think describes their relationship perfectly. That song is beautiful and I'm so glad they finally released it with Fleetwood Mac a few years ago. When I hear it, I remember the happy days of their relationship when they were completely in love, years before the turmoil and heartache described in Dreams and Go Your Own Way. 

I was thinking about what to include next in this story, there are so many memories. I should caution you, some memories may not be in chronological order. I'm trying to keep them in order as best I can, but I'm an old fart with an old mind, not to mention there were times when I was drunk or stoned and my memory was definitely a bit fuzzy then.

There is one memory though that is kinda bizarre so I think I'll put it in before I forget it because it was an eye opener for me. It was the night I met a Monkee. Mind you, by the time The Monkees aired, I was far beyond the age of their fan base. I knew the songs that got radio play but other than that, didn't care about em. I was into Hendrix, Jefferson Airplane, The Doors, people like that. The Monkees were teenybopper bubblegum crap to me, just a shoddy ripoff of the Beatles. 

So how did I end up meeting one? Because we had a mutual friend. My friend, Harry Nilsson, was a musician who knew the Monkees because a couple of his songs were recorded by them. And Micky Dolenz and Davy Jones appeared in his play, The Point, when it first opened. He hung out with Micky long after the show ended and partied with him and that's who I ended up meeting one night. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

"Are you serious?" 

Keith nodded at Richard as they sat side by side in their studio at Sound City. The band they were working with was taking a break so Keith took the opportunity to tell Richard about a party he was attending and to invite him to it. Richard was all for it till he heard where it would be held.

"I'm very serious. Harry's going tonight. He asked me, you, Stevie and Lindsey to come. I'm asking Ken too as well as Wally. Can you come?" 

"Sure, but..." 

"Yes?" 

Richard sighed. 

"Keith, he's a Monkee," he said. 

"Yeah, I know but Micky throws wild parties." 

Richard gave him a dubious look. 

"The man who sings I'm a Believer throws wild parties," he said. 

"The man who sings I'm a Believer is a lot more wild than you think he is," Keith countered. "Trust me, man. You'll have a great time. Just ask Stevie and Lindsey to come when you get home." 

Richard nodded. 

"Okay but If I find a pin the tail on the donkey game there, I'm going home," Richard said with a grin. 

"Deal," Keith said, smiling. 

He got up and walked over to a mini fridge to get them some beers. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

Lindsey snickered after Richard finished telling his friends about the party. He and Stevie were snuggled together on one end of the sofa in their house while Richard sat on the other end. Ginny lay near the sofa, dozing. 

"Partying with a Monkee, eh," Lindsey said. "How many eight year olds gonna be there then?" 

"None, I hope," Richard said. "I'm only going because Keith, Ken and Harry'll be there. Don't know if I'll know anyone else." 

"Maybe Micky'll invite you to jam with him," Lindsey said. "You could be Davy." 

"No thanks. Too tall anyway," Richard said. 

Lindsey pretended to think that over before nodding. 

"Yeah, you're right. Stevie's short enough to be Davy." 

He and Richard snickered when Stevie playfully slapped Lindsey's chest with the back of her hand. 

"Keith's inviting you guys too," Richard said. 

Stevie gasped when Lindsey suddenly flung his arms around her and hugged him to her tightly. 

"No! I can't lose my girl to Davy's wiles," he said melodramatically while Stevie giggled. "He might hypnotise her into submission with Daydream Believer!" 

"Then again, he's probably the only man out there she could see eye to eye with." 

"Hey," Stevie said to Richard while Lindsey snorted out laughter. 

"All kidding aside," Lindsey said, "we already made plans to go to the plant tonight to finish a couple of tracks so we can take them into the studio and make them album worthy. But you can have fun at the Monkee party though." 

"Tell Harry we said hi and we're sorry we couldn't come," Stevie added. Richard nodded. He glanced at the wall clock and excused himself, telling him he had to get ready. As he walked to the bedroom, he flipped the bird over his shoulder when Lindsey teasingly sang "Hey, hey, we're the Monkees," to him. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

After Richard met Keith, Ken, Wally Heider and Harry at Keith's studio, they got into their cars to go to Micky's house. Harry led the way while they drove and to cut down on the number of cars, Keith rode in Wally's car and Richard rode with Ken. Ken's car was at the back of the line of cars as they drove down the highway. 

"Okay, this is weird," Ken said, glancing at Richard beside him while he drove. "Never thought I'd meet a Monkee, let alone party with him." 

"Keith said he's more wild than he looks," Richard replied. 

"You mean the Monkee acts like a monkey," Ken quipped. 

Richard chuckled. 

"If we meet one of his relatives, will he be a Monkees uncle?" 

Ken chortled. 

"Better be careful tonight in case Micky has too much to drink and goes apeshit on us," he said. 

Both men were laughing by now. They broke into an intentionally off key chorus of Daydream Believer before laughing again. 

"We shouldn't be so harsh. He might actually be a nice guy," Ken said when he finally stopped laughing. 

"Did you watch the show," Richard asked him after a moment. 

"Are you kidding? I was in my twenties when that thing was on. Hell, no. Why, did you?" 

"Hell, no," Richard said. "I heard their songs on the radio but that was it." 

Ken nodded in agreement. He noticed Harry was maneuvering onto an off ramp and he followed him while Richard switched on the radio. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

Richard and Ken's eyes boggled when they finally reached Micky's house. The house was not only bigger than they thought but there were at least forty cars parked in the driveway, at the curb beside the house and all over the large front yard. The house was a two story, white, adobe style mansion with a red tiled roof that was nearly a block long. There was no fence or gate around the house which was a good thing since the cars were everywhere, squeezed into every conceivable space without spilling out into the street. 

"Where the fuck do we park," Ken said, stopping on the road in front of the house and looking at all the cars. 

1Richard looked out the windshield and noticed his friends in the other two cars were also looking around for places to park. Finally, Harry got out of his car, yelled for everyone to wait and ran towards the mansion's front door. Ken put the car in park and looked out the driver's side window at the house. 

"Being a Monkee pays well, I see," he said, glancing at Richard while gesturing to the mansion. 

They watched while Harry rang the doorbell and waited. Richard chuckled and Ken glanced at him. 

"Here he comes,"Richard sang to the tune of The Monkees theme song, "walking to the door. Wonder if he'll have with him a small harem of whores." 

Ken cackled as Richard gave him an evil grin. Ken thought for a moment as he looked out the side window before looking at Richard and singing his own lyrics to the tune of Daydream Believer 

"Cheer up, Richard D. You're going to a party with me...your friend, Ken Caillat and a...big bag of weed." 

The two men bust a gut laughing. They fell silent though when they noticed Harry was still outside and was now pounding furiously on the door. 

"Damn, everyone deaf in there or something," Richard said while they watched their friend pound the door. 

Finally, the door opened after five minutes and Richard raised his eyebrows when music blared from the open door. 

"That's why no one heard the doorbell, the music's up full blast," Ken said, gesturing to the house. 

"Is that him," Richard said, pointing to the person who answered the door. "Is that our Monkee host?" 

"Looks like it," Ken said, nodding. 

The man at the door was young with a large brown, curly afro. He had on a brown T-shirt and jeans with a string of white beads around his neck. They watched while Harry turned and pointed to their cars while talking. The man nodded and pointed to the house across the street while replying. Harry nodded and ran to Wally's car while Ken rolled down his window. The front door had been left open, even though the man was no longer there, and with Ken's window down, they could now tell that the loud music was The Rolling Stone's Paint It Black. Richard looked at the other houses and noticed most were as big and grand as Micky's mansion. 

"The neighbors actually tolerate this," he said to Ken in disbelief. "Judging from the houses, they'd seem the type to call the police."

Ken was about to answer when Harry came to Ken's window. 

"Micky said park in the yard here," he said, pointing to the house directly across from Micky's. 

"The neighbors won't mind," Richard said. 

Harry shrugged. 

"They're at the party too," he said. 

"Guess that answers your question about why the neighbors don't call the police," Ken said when Harry went back to his car. 

Ken parked the car near the curb with the others, trying as best he could not to tear up the lawn. He turned the car off and looked over his shoulder through the back window at the house. 

"The night I met you there was about forty people at Keith's house and there wasn't nearly as many cars as there are here. Good thing he has that mansion to hold them all." 

The two men got out of the car and locked the doors. They followed their friends across the street to the mansion. As they got closer to the front door, they could hear laughter mixed with conversation while the music continue to blare. Richard and Ken followed their friends inside and both stopped at the door in shock. People were everywhere they looked, dancing, drinking and smoking joints. 

"Wow," Richard said as he closed the door behind them. "I've been to packed parties before but never like this." 

"Do you know anyone here?" 

Richard looked around, trying to find a familiar face. 

"No. I don't think so," Richard said, shaking his head. 

The two men tried to get across the room, looking for beverages. People had beers in transparent plastic cups so they knew they had drinks somewhere but there was so many people, they couldn't see anything but the white walls surrounding them. Then an erratically dancing drunk woman jerked back and slammed into Richard, sending him straight into a man's back. Ken grabbed Richard, trying to keep him from going down and being trampled on by the drunken dancers. Ken gave him a grateful look and looked at the man who was now turning around to see who hit him. They were near the stereo now and he had to shout over the music. 

"SORRY, MAN," he yelled. "I DIDNT MEAN TO HIT..." 

His words caught in his throat when the man turned completely and he was looking at Paul McCartney. Paul smiled and nodded. 

"IT'S ALRIGHT, MATE," Paul yelled over the din, "PACKED TO THE GILLS IN HERE, YEAH?" 

Richard nodded, too stunned to speak. Then a woman stepped around him and he was equally stunned to see Linda McCartney. Linda had a joint in her left hand and a cup of beer in the right. 

"PAUL, CAN WE GO SOMEWHERE ELSE," she yelled at her husband. "IT'S HARD TO HEAR IN HERE!" 

Paul nodded. He beckoned to Richard and Ken to follow them. Richard looked over his shoulder and saw that Ken was still there. They shared a can you believe this look before following Paul out of the room. They  headed to the kitchen where Richard and Ken finally saw the food and beverages. The music was still loud but they could talk normally now and Richard and Ken grabbed a couple of cups filled with beer and filled paper plates with food before they walked out back to where the pool was. Once outside, with the sliding door closed, the music became a dull hum and they walked over to some deck chairs and sat down. Richard and Ken accepted the joint from Linda and took a puff after Paul arranged four chairs in a circle by the deep end of the pool. Thus far, Richard hadn't seen any sign of Micky but to be honest, he'd rather be chatting with a Beatle than a Monkee. 

"Haven't seen you lot here before," Paul said while Richard handed the joint to him. 

"Yeah, first time here," Richard said, feeling a bit self conscious around a Beatle. 

"Are you in a band then," Paul asked. 

"No, we're both assistant engineers," Richard said, feeling even more small compared to the man sitting across from him. 

"That's groovy," Paul said, "Where at?" 

"Sound City," Richard said. 

"Wally Heider," Ken added. 

"Hmm, don't know that one but I have been to Sound City before. Nice studio," Paul said before taking a hit off the joint. 

"How did you meet Micky," Ken asked. 

"Met em in London during my Beatles days. The Monkees were there on tour and we invited them to party with us. He met his wife there as well that night. Samantha. She's here but she's not keen on the goings on here so you might not see her." 

"She doesn't like parties," Ken asked, taking the joint from Linda. 

"She does," Linda said, "but the party pretty much goes nonstop here. Some people don't even leave in the morning. They pass out in the den, sleep most of the day and party all over again that night." 

Richard was stunned. He'd hosted a party before, even in the tiny apartment he had before moving in with Lindsey and Stevie, but not every night. And if he had friends who did stay over, he didn't expect them to stay long enough to party all over again. 

"I could see why his wife would be pissed," Ken said. 

Paul nodded. 

"Yeah. I think the marriage is done for personally. She's even making Micky sleep in the guest room, when he even goes upstairs that is. A lot of times he's down in the den with the rest of his friends." 

Richard suddenly realized that Perhaps Keith hadn't been kidding when he said Micky was a wild guy. Neither he nor his friends ever conducted their lives in this way, they couldn't afford to. Even if Micky had made a lot of money as a Monkee, he couldn't imagine he would still have enough four years after the show was cancelled to be able to party nonstop and still maintain a mansion. It seemed ironic to him that the man who he thought was a clean cut teenybopper turned out to have the most hard core lifestyle of any rocker he knew. 

"There you are!" 

Richard was jolted from his thoughts when Micky called to them. He hadn't gotten a good look at him from the car but he was clearly drunk now and had a goofy grin on his face as he moved unsteadily towards Paul. 

"Got something you might be interested in, man," Micky said, when he reached him. 

He reached into his jean pocket and pulled something out. He held a closed fist out to Paul, opened it and Richard's eyes bulged when he saw several LSD capsules in his hand. 

"Shit," he heard Ken mutter under his breath. 

"Got some yellow sunshine from Joey," Micky said with a slur as he pointed to them. "Want some?" 

"Not right now, Mick," Paul said. "Have you met Richard and Ken?" 

Micky looked where Paul was pointing and tried to focus his eyes. 

"Um...no...," he said when he got his eyes focused enough to see them. "Never seen you before. You come in off the street?" 

"Um...no," Richard said uneasily, wondering how many people at the  party really had wandered in off the street. "We came with Harry." 

Micky frowned. 

"Which Harry," he said. 

"Nilsson," Richard said. 

"OH! Okay. You were in the cars!" 

"Yeah, we were," Ken said. "I'm Ken Caillat." 

"And I'm Richard Dashut." 

"Micky Dolenz but you probably guessed that already," Micky said, the drunken grin still plastered on his face."Want some," he added, holding out the LSD to them. 

"No, no thanks," both men said in near unison. 

"I'm not into acid," Richard added and Ken nodded in agreement. 

Micky nodded. 

"S'alright, we have more than that here," he said. "Pot, coke, hash, heroin, pills, booze, we got it all tonight and then some! In fact, if you want a speedball, I can show you where they're shooting up right now." 

"No thanks," Richard said. "If you don't mind my asking, what are you into?" 

Micky spat out a high pitched laugh that sounded half crazed to Richard. 

"Shit," Micky said, "anything and everything, man. Ain't nothin' I hadn't tried." 

Again, Richard was stunned into silence that this man who was a hero to countless children was a hardcore junkie. He himself was no choirboy but he only partook of alcohol, weed and the occasional snort of cocaine. He stayed away from hard drugs, especially since he knew someone who ended up getting his brain fried on acid. He began to see why people stayed round the clock at Micky's house. 

"So...are you musicians then," Micky asked Richard and Ken. 

They were about to answer that when they heard the sliding door open. Micky, Paul and Linda turned around and Ken and Richard leaned to their right and looked around them while they watched a pretty woman step outside.. She was tall and statuesque with long brown hair that fell past her shoulders. Richard glanced at Ken and they shared a look. The woman was coming outdoors in an ankle length, pink flannel nightgown with a lavender dressing gown tied over it. Richard wondered what else was going on in the house besides drug use. 

"Micky," she said with an English accent, "turn the bloody music down. I'm trying to sleep!" 

"Sam! You made it to the party, darling. Sam, you know Paul and Linda," Micky said, turning around. "And this is..." 

He frowned while he stared bleary eyed at Richard and Ken. 

"Sorry. Forgot your names," he said, jabbing his finger at them. 

Richard stood up and introduced himself to her while Ken followed suit. The woman nodded halfheartedly. 

"Samantha Dolenz, Micky's wife, pleasure," she said hurriedly before turning her attention back to her husband. "Damn it, Micky, I am sick and tired of this rubbish. These never ending parties and people constantly in our house. And Amy has to step over people in the morning just to get out the door to go to bleeding school! You honestly think this is any sort of life for your daughter?" 

Richard and Ken shared another look. Richard had no idea Micky had a kid. He didn't know how old the girl was but he knew no child shouldn't be exposed to constant partying and drugs like this. He knew drug addiction gripped people and led them to make poor decisions but just the same, his opinion of Micky dropped considerably after hearing that. It dropped even more when he saw Micky dismiss her concerns. 

"Amy's fine, hon. She's used to it," he said, waving his hand around erratically. 

"You're such a wanker, Micky. You don't care about anyone but your fucking self," Samantha spat at him before turning on her heel and heading back inside. 

"Wait, Sam, come back," Micky said as he staggered after her. 

Richard watched, shaking his head while watching Micky trying to stay on his feet while he followed after her. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

Richard and Ken didn't stay very long at the party after that. Richard was angry and he decided he'd rather go before he saw Micky again and ended up punching him. He just couldn't get over the fact that Micky had a young daughter in the house that was seeing things she shouldn't at her age. When he told Ken that, he nodded in understanding and after finding Keith, Wally and Harry, they made up an excuse that they were tired before leaving. 

They drove to a McDonald's and got some burgers, fries and Cokes before parking in the parking lot and talking. Richard was still seething and he was grateful to be somewhere where he could calm down. 

"Won't ever think of Micky Dolenz as a goody two shoes again," Ken said to him while they ate. "Damn, that was some party." 

"I just can't get over the fact that his daughter's mixed up in that. That's callous and irresponsible." 

"I know, man, but Paul did say they were headed for divorce. If that happens, she'd get the kid away from there." 

Richard nodded. He chewed his cheeseburger when a grin suddenly spread over his face. 

"What," Ken said. 

"We met Paul fucking McCartney," he said, giddy. 

"Did we?" 

Richard stared at him. 

"What do you mean, did we? Are you stoned and able to hide it," Richard said. 

Ken grinned. 

"Paul is dead, remember. That might have been the clone." 

Richard chortled and shoved Ken's head playfully. Feeling better now that he was away from the party and with his friend, the two of them ate and talked awhile before heading back to Sound City and Richard's car.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Seven 

That night taught me never to judge by appearances. I severely underestimated Micky, even though I should have known better since he was around my age. But I hung around with people who rarely, if ever, did hard drugs. I know now the irony of doing cocaine while claiming not to have done hard drugs but no one thought it was that bad at first, not like heroin anyway. A costly mistake as all of us later learned but thankfully, Ken and I were spared having to detox like Stevie and Mick did. Even though we made a shitload of money from Rumours, we still didn't make near the amount the band did and we couldn't afford to have a twenty million dollar coke habit like Mick ended up having. I've had nice houses and cars but never a mansion like Micky's house and never a Lamborghini. 

I also saved my money, spent it wisely and invested some in stocks, which is why I still have a nice house and car. I still get residuals from Rumours and the other Mac albums, especially since they are now reissuing them in deluxe editions each time the anniversary of their original release is reached. And Ken and I have the band to thank for that. If we hadn't been made producers by them halfway through the recording of Rumours, we wouldn't have made a dime. For those who don't know, producers get residuals, engineers don't and that's the only real difference between those roles. Otherwise, its the same job. 

After that night though, I never went back to Micky's house and I don't think Ken did either. The others did keep going and it was through them that I learned Samantha did indeed divorce Micky in time and went back to England permanently. Amy did stay with Micky but the divorce was a rude awakening for him and Micky got clean and sober and got his act together. He remarried, had more children, did some television work, in front of and behind the camera, and after MTV made the Monkees popular again in 86, he toured with the band and from what I've read, they continue to tour now, even though Davy died a few years ago. And I believe the first daughter, Amy, became an actress, so good for her. Glad she turned out okay after living with an endless party in her house for awhile. 

As for Paul, I saw more of him, thanks to Mick marrying, Jenny, the sister of George Harrison's first wife, Pattie. We became great friends...at least I think it's him...could be the clone, you know. Shhhh. Sorry, couldn't resist throwing that in.

Actually, I told the band one time in the 80s we should start a Stevie is dead rumor to get people to buy more Mac albums. Lindsey, Mick and Ken were all for it. Stevie and Chris thought it was retarded and John couldn't care less either way, which is typical John. 

In the end, we didn't do it, which I consider a missed opportunity. But if anyone is reading this who I don't know...if you play Dreams backwards, Stevie is chanting "I'm buried in my shawl, I'm buried in my shawl." So go buy lots and lots and lots of Rumours CDs as well as the other Mac albums and check it out. The fact that I get money in my pocket if you buy lots and lots of CDs is inconsequential. I'm just want people to know about the Stevie clone before I die...honestly. 

But anyway, by the time I got home Lindsey and Stevie were gone. They did leave coffee brewing for me and I took a quick shower and had a quick cup before going to bed. I lay awake for awhile, staring at the ceiling. Ginny was gone too. Stevie took her with them so the house was completely quiet. Not the first time of course, but I would have preferred activity to total silence since my mind kept going back to the events of the evening. in the end, I went and got the little radio in the kitchen, took it to my room and turned it down low to provide some white noise. 

I didn't have to work in the morning. Keith gave himself and me the day off. I think he knew he was going to get wasted at Micky's party but he told me he'd told his boss that the band we were working with wanted a day off and then told the band afterwards he wanted the day off so they wouldn't come in. So, there were no worries about getting up early in the morning but it still took me awhile to calm my mind and go to sleep. 

I kept my door open and both my internal clock and the sizzle and smell of frying bacon woke me up early in the morning. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

Richard yawned and checked his clock, it was nearly six in the morning. He knew Stevie and Lindsey were back and Stevie was up and getting ready for work. For a moment, he was going to go back to sleep but the sound and smell of the food tempted his stomach. 

He shut his door, put on a T-shirt and jeans, opened it again and headed out to the kitchen. Stevie smiled when she saw him. 

"Good morning, Rich," she said as she turned the bacon. 

"Mornin' Stevie," he said, walking over to the coffeemaker on the counter and grabbing the mug from last night to pour him some coffee. 

"Have fun last night," she said while Richard poured the coffee. 

Richard sipped his coffee while he told her what happened. As Stevie added extra bacon and eggs for him, she was awed at his description of the party, impressed when he told about meeting Paul and disturbed when he told her about Micky, Samantha and how their daughter was living in a never ending party. 

"I don't blame you for leaving early," Stevie said when he finished his story. "I'd be angry too." 

"I'd never seen anything like it," Richard said. "I suppose that's what happens when you have more money than sense, you know." 

Stevie nodded. She fixed a plate for Richard and he thanked her while he took it and silverware from her. He sat down at the kitchen table while Stevie finished the second batch of food for herself. 

"Working today," Stevie asked, looking over her shoulder at him. 

"No. Day off. I think because Keith will be in no shape to work today." 

Stevie chuckled. 

"After what you just told me, I expect not," she said. 

She fell silent as she turned the eggs and bacon. Richard watched her while he ate but he sensed Stevie was holding something back as the silence continued. He figured it was Lindsey but the psychologist in him was compelled to find out what was wrong and he gently asked her. Stevie sighed as she slid her fried eggs onto the plate. 

"Is it worth it, Richard," she said, turning to him. 

"Is it worth what?" 

"Living like this," Stevie said, gesturing around the room, "struggling and suffering to pursue something that might not happen." 

"Yes, I think it's worth it," Richard said, upset that his friend was losing heart. "Stevie, you and Lindsey nearly have your songs ready for an album. You can't give up now." 

"But I'm tired, Richard, I work all day, clean a huge house from top to bottom on Saturday and go to the coffee plant most nights. I'm standing here getting ready for work while Lindsey gets to sleep in. My supervisor is still upset about that phone prank of his and giving me flack over other things. Frankly, going back to college seems easier right now. At least my parents would support me with that." 

"Stevie, you have a natural talent for singing and songwriting. You have a gift. You were born to be on a stage, not in a classroom. Worthwhile things take hard work and patience and dedication." 

"I know. It just seems so...unobtainable sometimes." 

"I believe in you. Keith believes in you and so does Lindsey and our friends. You're not alone in this. You have a support system and not everyone has that." 

Stevie smiled at that while getting misty eyed, she turned off the stove before walking over and embracing Richard. 

"It's friends like you that keep me going," she said into his shoulder while Richard hugged her tightly. 

"I'm here for you, Stevie," Richard said. "I'm following my dreams too." 

"I know," Stevie said, patting his back before letting go and stepping back. "I'm glad you and Lindsey are here. I'd never keep going if I was doing this alone." 

"We'll make it, Stevie. It's gonna happen, you wait and see." Stevie grinned at that and gave him a peck on the cheek. 

"When we do, I'll treat you to a big steak dinner at a fancy restaurant." Richard grinned. 

"You're on," he said. "Me and my stomach will be waiting for that. As for the asshole boss, you can handle him with no problem." 

Stevie nodded and smiled. "Like I said, you'd make a good shrink, Rich," she said. "Or a motivational speaker." 

"Well, if I'm willing to live in squalor for the hope of a better life, you should to." 

Stevie nodded and thanked him again. Richard watched her finished getting her food on the plate, happy he was around to give Stevie hope and a boost of her willpower so she could continue to follow her dreams.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Eight 

That was how it was for us. The three of us kept each other going until we made it. And I wasn't immune from doubt either. Becoming an engineer isn't as big a gamble as becoming a rock star but I wanted to be a top, sought after producer rather than just be an engineer, that was my dream. Someone who people speak of with deep respect such as George Martin. He gets as much attention as the Beatles and is even referred to as The Fifth Beatle by some people. That's what I wanted. I did get that with Rumours but I got a lot of shit and heartache to go with it, unfortunately. 

Because of my psychology training and personality, I have always found myself counseling and uplifting people. Which I don't really mind, I'm naturally empathetic so its easy for me to listen, empathize and be supportive. When Ken and I worked on Rumours, Ken handled most of the technical side of things while I mainly acted as life coach, mediator and shoulder to cry on for the band. I did engineering work too, don't get me wrong, but with all the turmoil that went on with the band, Ken deferred to my natural strengths, just as I deferred to his, with the result that sometimes I found myself caught in the middle of the various feuds, especially Stevie and Lindsey. 

Like I said, I'm so glad Ken was there with me for most of that time. He saved me from paying tons of therapy bills. 

Before I continue with what happened after Stevie left for the day, I need to explain something. In the 70s, you could cash a personal check at a coffeehouse which you certainly couldn't do at Starbucks today. And there was a next to nill chance of being hunted down and prosecuted by the business if you did bounce a check, which is why Lindsey came up with a scheme to get some money when we ran low. He would drive to a coffeehouse, usually with friends, cash a check there he knew would bounce and then never go back to that place again. 

I sometimes went with him on these runs and, sad to say, I was okay with it at the time. We were dirt poor and we could get away with it, what can I say. We never cashed a check that was more than forty dollars and even though we did use the money to get weed and beer at times, we more often as not got breakfast at a restaurant to cut down on food consumption at home so we wouldn't starve between pay checks. 

So, you heard it here, folks, the guitarist for Fleetwood Mac committed fraud about 82,000 times before he was famous. And I was a part time accessory to fraud and drove the getaway car. I'm exaggerating the amount of times, of course, but still Lindsey did it often enough that eventually he had to go waaaay out of his way to find a new coffeehouse to pillage. Which meant eventually some of the money we got went towards gas meant to get us back home after going out there in the first place. A few years ago, I went to one of the coffeehouses that is still in business and it was an odd feeling, sitting there with my coffee and newspaper knowing I'd help rob the place over forty years ago. My criminal past, ladies and gentlemen, and I got away scot free! I need to make up an award certificate for that so I can hang it next to my useless, paperweight of a Grammy. 

Speaking of the Grammy, I was thrilled to get it that night but then I got it home, stared at it, put it on a shelf and let it gather dust forever more. It did bring me a bit of prestige and I could now use Grammy Award Winning Producer in front of my name but other than hitting a robber in the head with it if he breaks into my house, there's no real use for it.

We, and I mean me, Ken and the band, did rub it in the Eagles' faces though when we won over their precious Hotel California album.  Ha, Mac rule, Eagles drool! Childish, I know, but I don't care. I'm old enough for my second childhood now, so nah, nah Don Henley, you suck! 

In case you're wondering, we also beat out Stevie Wonder, James Taylor and, believe it or not, the Star Wars soundtrack, which all of us snickered about since we could think of albums more deserving for nomination than that one. 

But anyway, I'm rambling again. Senility threatening my mind and all that. Back to the story. 

Stevie left for the day and I was on my own for a bit. Stevie and Lindsey usually stayed at the coffee plant till three in the morning so Lindsey slept late. In those days, there was no cable tv, sad but true, and three channels and PBS. So...not much on during the daytime except game shows and talk shows as well as good old PBS which had Sesame Street, Mister Rogers, Julia Child and that Bob Ross painting show where Bobbo painted his happy little trees and happy little bushes in a mellow voice that could lull you to sleep if you weren't careful. 

Oh and PBS also had The Electric Company, which was hipper than Sesame Street, and we did watch it because of that but Lindsey couldn't watch it when Stevie was home. Why? Because Lindsey scared the shit out of Stevie one morning when she was sitting on the crapper with the door closed and he burst through the door screaming "HEY, YOU GUUUUUUUUUUYS!" before laughing his ass off. Stevie nearly grabbed some of the shit in the toilet and threw it at his face. That was the last time he did that. 

We also couldn't watch it in her presence because Lindsey and I started doing this repeatedly. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

Stevie, Lindsey and Richard were sitting on the sofa together watching The Carol Burnett Show. Lindsey, who was next to Richard, nudged him and grinned. 

"Bah...," he said. 

"Itch," Richard said, returning the grin. 

"Bitch!," both said in unison while Stevie sighed and rolled her eyes. 

"Cah...," Lindsey said. 

"Unt," Richard replied. 

"Cunt!" 

"Will you idiots shut up?," Stevie said. 

"Da..." 

"Am." 

"Damn!" 

"If you don't quit it, I'll put my sha-oo up your bah-utts," Stevie growled. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

So, yeah, we drove Stevie nuts with that. 

In case you don't know what that was, there was a bit on the Electric Company where two people would be in profile and in shadow on either side of the screen sounding out words. The first person would give the first letter and the second person would finish it, then they'd say the word together. We just did the X rated version of it. 

Speaking of Carol Burnett, we used to drive Stevie crazy by imitating Mama and Eunice and Mr. Tudball and Mrs. Wiggins. Along with Scooby Doo and Shaggy, Fred and Barney and Yogi and Boo Boo. We were complete brats, now that I think about it. 

Damn, rambling again. I'm glad I'm not a professional writer, I suck at staying on point. As I was saying, I didn't have much choice in TV shows so I finally settled on the game show, Password. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

Richard sat on the sofa, drinking a beer while he half listened to Richard Dawson make a semi bawdy joke on Password. Even though he hated cleaning up the studio, it was better than the dregs of daytime TV. He was about to go hunt for a book when Ginny came into the room from Stevie and Lindsey's bedroom. He looked over and watched his friend come out into the hallway. Lindsey frowned when he saw him. 

"Day off?" 

Richard nodded. 

"Keith figured he'd be out of commission today." 

"How was the party?" 

"An eye opener." 

"Well, you wanna go find someplace to cash a check and get some breakfast?" 

"I've eaten but I'll get something to drink." Lindsey nodded. 

"Let me get myself ready and you can tell me about the party on the way to the coffeehouse," he said before heading for the bathroom. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

After thumbing through the phone book and finding a coffeehouse he hadn't used yet, he phoned the business, got the address and wrote it down. Afterwards, they drove nearly ten miles away, finally found it and while Richard waited outside in the car, Lindsey cashed a check for thirty dollars. 

On the way there, Richard had told him about the party. Lindsey sat in disbelief while he listened. He didn't say anything while they stopped at a gas station and got gas and cigarettes before heading on to McDonald's. By this time, it was nearly lunchtime so Lindsey got a Big Mac and fries and both men got large Cokes. They sat inside at a booth. Richard sipped his Coke while Lindsey ate. 

"When we get home, I want to know if I can play you a couple of songs. I wanted to get your opinion on them." 

"Sure, man, I'd be happy to listen," Richard said. 

"I haven't played them for Stevie yet. I wanted a man's opinion on one of them. The other one is a bit...personal." 

Richard swallowed some Coke. 

"Aren't all your songs personal?," he asked. "I mean I'm going by the ones I've heard."

Lindsey nodded. 

"Yes but...this song is deeply personal...about me." 

Richard was intrigued. He'd heard most of the songs they planned to put on their album and he loved them. His friends were talented and he was sure this album would be a smash. They needed a few more songs but most of the others were finished. He thought of Stevie. If they were finished, it meant more sleep for her, at least until they had to tour and give interviews and photo shoots, but by then they would be wealthy and could live in comfort. All they had to do was hold on until they made it. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

When they got back home, they divvied up what was left of the money and split it. Richard put his share in his wallet while Lindsey went to get his guitar. As Richard was putting his wallet back in his pocket, the phone rang. Richard walked over and answered it while Ginny ran to him, wagging her tail. 

"Hello?," Richard said, reaching down to rub Ginny's back. 

"Richard!," Keith said. 

"Hey, man, you survived the night?" 

"Yeah, I didn't do anything beyond weed and beer. I'm glad you answered, I have news for you." 

"Oh?" 

Lindsey came into the room with his guitar. He mouthed to Richard, asking who it was. Richard mouthed  back it was Keith and Lindsey nodded. 

"I made a decision and cleared it with my boss. I want you to be an assistant engineer full time, no more cleaning and fetching things." 

Richard was stunned. Lindsey, while sitting down on the sofa, saw his surprised expression and watched him intently. 

"You mean it?," Richard said to Keith while Lindsey mouthed "What happened?" to him. 

"We have to find a replacement so you'll have to continue your duties until then but that shouldn't take too long. You're a fast learner and you're good, Richard. I'm willing to let you keep on learning so you can engineer an album on your own when the time comes." 

"Thank you. Thank you so much!" 

"You're welcome, buddy. You will go far in this business so you need to devote yourself full time to being an engineer rather than doing it only when you have the time. In the meantime, enjoy your day and I'll see you in the morning" 

Richard again thanked him profusely before Keith ended the call. Richard hung up the phone in a state of bliss. 

"What happened?," Lindsey asked. 

Richard told him and Lindsey beamed. He put the guitar down, jumped up and hugged his friend. 

"We need to celebrate tonight," Lindsey said after letting go of him."Get some steaks or something." 

"I have enough for that," Richard said. "Plus some baked potatoes." 

"Ah, Rich, we're makin' it happen! You with the engineering, me and Steves with our album, we'll show everyone we weren't fools to follow our hearts!" 

"Got that right!," Richard said, excited about telling Stevie the news and giving her even more reason to hope their dreams would come true. 

He made a mental note to call Ken too and hoped his friend would receive the same promotion shortly. 

He settled down on the sofa with Lindsey while Ginny jumped up on it and lay down between them. Lindsey took up his guitar, positioned it and plucked a few strings idly. 

"Okay, I'll play the less personal song first," he said. 

Richard nodded and waited in anticipation of new music. Lindsey plucked the strings, producing a twangy opening. Then he began to sing. 

"Lola, my love, she knows how to screw her man!" 

Richard raised his eyebrows at that but said nothing while he listened. 

"Lola, my love, she does everything a woman can!" 

Richard listened in an enraptured silence until Lindsey was finished. Lindsey looked at him expectantly and Richard cleared his throat.

"Loved it, man. But I do have one problem with it." 

"Yes?" 

"Screw her, man? Isn't that a bit vulgar?," Richard said. 

"Yeah, that's why I wanted your opinion," Lindsey said sheepishly. 

"I'd change that word to something more acceptable, otherwise I really like it. Although, who is Lola? Fictional woman?" 

"No, it's a pet name of mine for Stevie." 

"Oh, I'd never heard you use that before. Where does it come from?"

"From The Kinks song. Stevie loves that song so I started teasing her by singing it to her then it became an intimate pet name. I only use it when we're alone but I decided to use it here to disguise the fact that its about Stevie. She's never been all that comfortable with my sex songs." 

Richard nodded. 

Lindsey positioned himself again and Richard leaned back, eager for more music. He began to play the intro and then sang. 

"I've been alone all the years, so many ways to count the tears. I never change, I never will, I'm so afraid of the way I feel." 

Richard was speechless. He'd never heard anything like this from Lindsey before. As the song went on, he realized it was more than personal, it was a peek into Lindsey's psyche. He was both enthralled and disturbed by it and he couldn't help but wonder what had prompted Lindsey to write a song like this. He knew his friend was prone to depression and sometimes fits of rages but he never knew he felt this hopeless. 

The song finished and silence hung thick in the air. Lindsey looked at his friend, saw the shock on his face and nodded. 

"Yeah, not the most cheerful of songs," Lindsey said, looking at the floor. 

"It was beautiful though," Richard said. "In a dark, poetic way." 

Lindsey looked up hopefully. 

"You liked it?" 

"I love it. It's one of the most beautiful and intensely personal things I've ever heard you write," Richard said, wishing he had half the songwriting ability his friends had. "But...is that really how you feel about yourself, man?" 

"Sometimes," Lindsey said fiddling with the guitar strings while he looked at the floor. "I know I'm not exactly a joy to live with sometimes." 

"But being self aware is good. Knowing you need to change can help you to change." 

Lindsey grinned. 

"That's your opinion as a shrink?," he teased. 

Richard shrugged and smiled. 

"And just common sense I think," he said. 

Lindsey nodded. 

"I do try to be a better person but old habits die hard," he said while Richard nodded in agreement. "Maybe I wrote this to make it more clear to myself." 

"Force your mind to acknowledge and deal with it." 

Lindsey chuckled. 

"Damn, you really are a shrink," he said. "Okay. I also have a mother fixation and I love to smear feces on my balls, what's your diagnosis for that?" 

"My conclusion is you're a very weird and smelly man with an oedipal complex." 

Lindsey snickered at that. 

"Not to mention a severe fly problem around the genital region," Richard added. 

Lindsey smiled and clapped his shoulder. 

"Thanks, man," he said. 

"No problem, always happy to be a sounding board for your music," Richard said. 

"You need to ask Steves to show her the songs she's working on now. One's really pretty, about candlelight in a window that she follows. The other one is strange though, something about how a ladybug and a goldfish love each other but can't live together." 

Richard chuckled. 

"Typical Stevie stuff then," he said. 

He laughed when Lindsey rolled his eyes in feigned exasperation. 

"Well, we can't all write about our sexual prowess, you know," Richard said. 

"Damn right, that's my musical territory," Lindsey said. "Anyway, thanks for the feedback." 

Richard nodded, once again happy that his friends were allowing him to hear their music, while he watched Lindsey take his guitar back in the bedroom.


	10. Chapter 10

Now I suppose I should give you a bad memory to balance out the happy ones, although I'm loathe to do it. Writing about it is painful but life wasn't all fun and games there. So, here goes.

There were a few times when I had to protect Stevie. I know Stevie can take care of herself. She's a very strong and independent woman and I get that and I'm not threatened by it. In fact, I like strong women. However, I'm a man and most men have a need to defend women even if they don't need it. Caveman instinct, I guess. 

Unfortunately, there were a couple of those times when the person I needed to protect Stevie from was Lindsey.

xxxxxxxxxxxx

Richard unlocked the front door and peeked inside. It was nearly midnight and he'd had a long day of working at the studio. Now that he no longer did janitorial duties, he was pulling long hours helping Keith work on songs.

"Stevie, Lindsey," he called out as he looked around.

He grinned when Ginny ran from the kitchen to the front door, her tail wagging furiously.

"At least you're home," Richard said, scratching her head. 

He shut the door and Ginny followed him as he walked to the kitchen. He stood at the counter, making some coffee, while Ginny watched him. He was nearly done with the coffee when he heard the front door bang open. He was about to say something when Stevie suddenly screamed.

"YOU ARE A FUCKING SON OF A BITCH, LINDSEY, I SWEAR TO GOD!"

"Shit," Richard muttered as he rolled his eyes.

The door slammed and Richard watched Ginny, who had ran to greet her mistress, run back to him in terror. Richard gave her a sympathetic look as she cowered near him. Just then, Stevie stomped into the kitchen, freezing with eyes wide open when she saw him.

"Richard," she said, calming down considerably. "But your car isn't here."

"Transmission went out today. I managed to get to work but I took it to the garage to get it fixed and Keith brought me home. He's taking me to work tomorrow and the car should be done by then. What's going on?"

Lindsey is drunk. Was drunk when I got home and he's still drunk and he's upset that we still need to work on our songs when they should be finished by now. He apparently keeps forgetting I work all day, pretty much every day except Sunday. I'm the one supporting..."

She was interrupted when the front door slammed again.

"DON'T WALK AWAY FROM ME, STEVIE! WE'RE NOT THROUGH YET!"

Richard tensed and his eyes narrowed when Stevie backed towards him. Ginny was now hiding under the kitchen table and Richard had half a mind to join her. Richard could see Stevie was trying to be brave but he could see fear in her eyes and his protective instinct kicked in. He stepped in front of her as Lindsey stumbled through the door, still inebriated. He was about to scream at Stevie when he caught sight of Richard.

"What are you doing here," he slurred out as he glared at Richard.

"Keith brought me home. My car is in the shop and that's why it's not out there..."

"Yeah,whatever," Lindsey said, rolling his eyes and waving his hand in a floppy gesture of dismissal. "Leave the house for a moment so I can talk to Stevie."

"No. Richard's staying here. He has a right to be here. You leave, Lindsey, you're the one who's drunk and need to calm down."

"Don't tell me to calm down, bitch..."

"HEY!"

Both them looked at Richard when he yelled out. Stevie stared at him with barely disguised hope while Lindsey glowered at him. Richard knew he shouldn't be interfering and he was walking on thin ice but he couldn't help it. Lindsey could be extremely irrational when he was drunk and angry and he wasn't about to stand by and watch Stevie possibly get a black eye.

"Stay out of this, Richard," Lindsey snarled at him.

"I'll stay out of it when you back down, cool off and leave Stevie alone."

Lindsey looked from him to Stevie and back. A twisted grin spread over his face as he looked at Stevie and pointed to Richard.

"I knew it," Lindsey crowed triumphantly to Stevie. "You're fucking him, ain't ya?"

Stevie glanced at Richard. Richard sensed the look was because she was concerned Lindsey might turn his wrath on him now but Lindsey took the look as an affirmation of his suspicions.

"You two timing bitch," he said, clenching his fists and heading towards her.

Richard took two steps toward him and Stevie grabbed Richard's arm.

"No, Richard, don't," Stevie said, tugging at his arm. "Lindsey, don't you dare start fighting with him!"

"He fucked you, Stevie!"

"How, Lindsey? The only time you aren't with me is when I'm working," Stevie sneered. "And I don't think he's coming to the restaurant and fucking me on the fryer!"

Lindsey gave her a murderous look but stayed where he was. 

"Man, Listen to yourself," Richard said, trying to defuse the bomb in the room before it exploded. "I'm not fucking your girl. We're only friends."

"Then why are you in here?"

"I'm in here because the fight came in here and because I'm making sure you don't hit Stevie."

Lindsey's nostrils flared. 

"I'd never hit her," he yelled at him. "What makes you think I'd hit her?"

"Your clenched fists are a big clue," Richard said, pointing to Lindsey's hands.

Lindsey looked down at his hands and let them relax. He looked up at Richard and glared at him.

You fuck my girl and I'll kill you," he snarled at him.

"You beat on Stevie and I'll kill you," Richard countered.

Lindsey snorted at that but didn't come near him. Richard relaxed slightly when Lindsey began to back towards the kitchen door. He gave them both hateful looks before he swiveled around awkwardly and stomped out of the kitchen. Richard and Stevie listened while Lindsey went down the hall, cursing at them both, before slamming his bedroom door. Richard relaxed completely and let out the breath he'd been holding. Stevie came up beside him, pleading with him. 

"Don't move out, Richard, please," she said.

Richard sighed and shook his head.

"I won't, Stevie. It won't be the first time I've dealt with an angry drunk anyway."

"He didn't mean what he said, about us being lovers. That's the alcohol and his jealousy talking.

Richard nodded.

"I know but you shouldn't go in there tonight. Take my bed, I'll sleep on the couch."

"No, Rich, he might start accusing me of screwing you again if I'm in there. I'll take the couch."

Richard nodded, seeing the logic in that but still preferring that Stevie was in a room where she could close and lock the door, not to mention he wanted to be closer to Lindsey than she was in case he came out again. He looked down when Ginny, sensing the coast was now clear, slowly came out into the open again. Stevie scooped her up and Richard smiled when Ginny licked her face.

"Thanks for sticking up for me, Richard, even if you did put yourself in harm's way." 

"Better I'm in harm's way than you."

Stevie laid her hand on his shoulder while craddling Ginny with the other.

"You defended my honor," she said with a wink. "Will you slay a dragon next?"

Richard chuckled.

"Yeah. Followed by an ogre, troll and an evil queen," he said.

Stevie looked around him and for the first time since Stevie came in, he remembered the coffee he was making. He looked over his shoulder and saw it was ready before he and Stevie both got some of it. They sipped it and made small talk, Richard learning they had been at the coffee plant when the argument started. The argument continued in the car after they left the plant early and ended up in the house. As they talked, Richard kept his ears tuned to the sound of the bedroom door opening. It never did and they finished their coffee, washed out their mugs and decided to go to bed after Richard turned off the coffeemaker. 

On the way to the living room, Richard stayed on Stevie's right, keeping himself between her and the bedroom door. Richard bought her an extra pillow from his bed and extra blanket. Rather than undress, he kept his clothes on just in case something else happened , only removing his belt. As he sat on his bed, he kept watch over Stevie as she arranged the bedding on the sofa and kept a wary eye on the hallway. it wasn't until Stevie was settled and under the covers that Richard finally lay down. They wished each other goodnight but Richard stayed awake for awhile, keeping watch over Stevie until his eyelids couldn't stay open any more and he finally went to sleep.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter Ten

Ugh. I cringe now thinking about the memory. But as I said before, that didn't go on all the time. Otherwise, I really would have moved out. No, Lindsey and Stevie were nice people but like all people, they have a dark side. And stress, drugs or alcohol can bring that dark side out. Stevie eventually became an out of control bitch on cocaine and John became a horrible rage filled monster when he got drunk enough, just to name a couple of examples. Thank God everyone's gotten past all that now and everyone pretty much gets along.

I think I shocked Stevie and Lindsey that night. I'm normally a laid back guy, a surfer dude type if you will, but I do have a temper. It has a long fuse attached to it, mind you, but it's there. Plus, as I said, I have that male urge to protect women and even though Lindsey probably wouldn't have hit her, I wasn't taking any chances. I don't believe in laying a hand on women and Lindsey coming up to her with his fists clenched pushed my buttons. 

Lindsey didn't do anything though and in the morning when he was sober, he made a point to get up early to catch us both before we went to work. He apologized profusely and we accepted his apology. Stevie hugged and kissed him and he stayed for breakfast. Breakfast was cheerful. A picture of domesticity with all of us laughing and joking as usual. But Lindsey waited till I was alone so he could talk to me personally.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Richard?"

Richard was in his bedroom, making his bed and finishing his final preparations for work. He heard Lindsey's voice and turned to see him standing at his door, a guilty look on his face.

"Yeah," Richard said.

"Man, I'm sorry for what I said. I know you aren't fucking Stevie behind my back. I'm really sorry."

"I understand, Lindsey. I've also said stupid shit when I was drunk."

"And I'm glad you defended Stevie, even though it pissed me off at the time. I'm glad you care about her enough to wanna protect her."

"I just didn't wanna see her get hurt."

Lindsey nodded and smiled.

"I don't trust some men around Stevie but I trust you. You're a good person."

"Thank you," Richard said, pleased at hearing that.

Lindsey walked forward and put his hand on Richard's shoulder.

"Stay, man. Don't move out."

"I'm not. And I already told Stevie last night I wasn't."

"Good. Because I like having you here. You're fun to be around."

"You mean I'm your partner in crime?"

Lindsey chuckled.

"In more ways than one. Well," he said, stepping back, "let you get on with getting ready for work. Just wanted to let you know what I said to you last night was bullshit."

"Thanks. I'm glad you feel that way because what you said really was bullshit."

Lindsey nodded.

"Hey, uh...I was thinking about having a party this weekend, to celebrate your promotion. Not huge but wanted to invite our friends, up for it?" 

"Sure," Richard said, honored to have a party for him.

"Ask Keith to come, will ya. And this Ken person you keep talking about. I'd like to finally meet the guy."

"I will."

Lindsey nodded.

"Make some fabulous music today," he said.  
"You too."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

And that was that. I went to work in a much better mood than I did hours earlier. I asked Keith to come to the party when I got there, I then phoned Ken on one of my breaks. Ken was at home but was planning to spend the weekend with his parents who he hadn't seen for awhile. He wished me well, said he was glad I got the promotion and said I deserved it. He told me he was talking to Wally about his own promotion and I wished him luck too before hanging up. Then I went back to work.The week went by quickly and by Saturday night, the three of us were in good spirits. The party was a pitch in with everyone contributing to food and beverages. Lindsey and I got a few 2 liter bottles of sodas and beer while Stevie made some Swedish meatballs in a crock pot and also, with the help of my paycheck, we made a deli meat and cheese tray and vegetable tray with dip. 

All three of us cleaned the place at night, rather than Stevie and Lindsey going to the plant as they normally did. We either worked to the sound of the radio or the TV if something good was on. One night, The Sonny and Cher show was on and we chased Stevie around the house singing Half Breed at the top of our lungs. Yes, we were back to being brats again.

So basically, the party was a small affair with close friends. Although Tom Montcrief brought a friend with him that no one else knew. He hadn't told anyone that his friend, Dan, was coming. He told the three of us that  Dan had come over to his house as he was leaving, found out about the party and insisted he come too. 

"Is he a good guy?" Lindsey asked when we stood with Tom in the kitchen.

"Yeah, he's cool. He just wants to hang out. He won't cause trouble."

I glanced at Stevie and Lindsey and  Lindsey shrugged.

"Okay by me," he said. "It isn't like you're bringing twenty people."

So we agreed with him and Dan was allowed to stay.Little did we know...

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

By ten, the party was in full swing. Food, cigarettes, joints, beer and sodas were being smoked, eaten or drunk as the tiny house filled with sounds of laughter. Everywhere Richard went, his friends congratulated him, patted him on the back and occasionally offered him a joint. Eventually, the joints made him hungry and he got some food and a can of beer and went into the living room to eat. He settled down on the sofa with his paper plate and can and arranged it so he could eat there. Ginny came over and hopped up on the couch, staring hungrily at his food. 

"Hey, poochy, having fun too," he said giving her a potato chip. "Bet you've eaten your fill tonight."

"Rich?" 

Richard looked over at Stevie who was standing with three unfamiliar and very attractive women, one was a blonde, one a brunette and one a redhead.

"Richard, Lindsey let me invite some friends too. These are old school friends of mine. This," she said, gesturing to the blonde, "is Robin Anderson. This," she said, gesturing to the brunette,"is Sharon Celani. And finally, we have Lori Perry. Guys, this is Richard Dashut, the reason for our shindig."

"Ladies," Richard said, nodding. "I'd stand up to say hello but if I put my plate down, the chowhound beside me will have a feast."

"Ginny. Come on, you need to go in the bedroom for awhile," Stevie said, scooping her up.

She excused herself as the other three ladies gathered around him. They made small talk until Stevie returned and then they left so that Richard could eat. Richard sat by himself and looked around. There were a few people in the living room, standing around and talking while the radio played in the background. Unlike Micky's party, people weren't crammed in and there were no hard drugs. People occasionally spoke to Richard as they passed by the sofa but for the most part, they let him eat in peace.When he'd nearly finished eating, Stevie came back into the room alone. She had on a knee length white dress with long sleeves and white dress shoes with a slight heel to them. He could tell when he spoke to her earlier that she was a bit tipsy but that was it. She still looked the same now. She had a nacho chip in her hand and was nibbling on it while she listened to Walter Egan speaking to her. He knew Walter had a huge crush on Stevie. But like him, Walter knew better than to mess with Lindsey's woman and as far as he knew, Walter kept his feelings to himself.

Walter eventually moved along to other people and Stevie popped the last of the chip in her mouth as she walked over and sat down beside him.

"Tired," she asked him.

"Getting there," Richard said, running his fingers through his long hair. "More work and longer hours now that I'm a full time engineer."

"But you're happier now."

"Definitely," Richard said, giving her a lazy grin.

As he chatted with her, he noticed Dan come into the room. He was around his age with long, brown hair that went down to the small of his back and was tied back with a short stand of rawhide. He had a full beard and he looked to Richard like he'd just arrived from Haight Ashbury. He definitely had a hippie vibe about him. 

Dan looked around the room before his eyes settled on Stevie. As he talked to Stevie, he could see a hungry look in Dan's eyes that matched Ginny's earlier when she was sizing up his food. He was about to quietly warn Stevie about Dan when her three friends came back into the room and called to her. Stevie looked at them, excused herself and left while Dan watched her intently. Once Stevie was gone, Dan left the doorway. Sensing possible trouble and wanting to spare this new guy a beating from Lindsey, Richard made to get up but Keith sat down with food and beer and began talking to him. Richard spoke to his boss but kept his eyes and ears peeled for Dan while he did it.

A half hour later, Keith had moved on and Richard discretely looked for Stevie or Dan. They were nowhere in the house so he stepped out back. He could hear people talking near the porch but at the moment, there wasn't anyone there. The backyard was fairly large since they were the only ones at the top of the hill. There were several bushes at the back of the house, a small wooden shed, several trees scattered around the lawn and a line of trees at the back of the property. In the middle of the yard were two large trees that grew side by side, their trunks thick with easily climbable limbs. Stevie liked to climb up sometimes and sit in the trees to relax and be one with nature. Richard moved towards the trees to see if Stevie was there when he suddenly heard a muffled cry from that direction that sounded female.

On red alert, he dashed to the trees and when he got past them, he stopped short, his heart in his throat. Dan had Stevie pressed up against the trunk of one of the trees, a hand over her mouth and the other hand up her dress. He gave Richard an annoyed look but that look quickly turned to shock when Richard lunged forward and hit him in the head. Dan grunted in pain and let go of Stevie. She wriggled out from under Dan and ran to Richard who now ran up and violently shoved Dan back away from Stevie.

"The fuck are you doin', man," Dan said to Richard when he recovered his balance.

"She doesn't belong to you," Richard growled at him.

"So...what...she belongs to you? You fucking her then?"

Richard rolled his eyes at the fact that this was the second time in a week someone had accused him of fucking Stevie. 

"No, she's not my girl. She..."

"Well, if she's not your girl, she's not your business," Dan said over him, sneering.

"I was going to say," Richard said, fighting to keep from hitting him again, "that the man she is with is a jealous type who will fucking kill you if you mess with her so you're lucky I found you first!"

"Oh really, is that why she's still here then," Dan said, pointing behind him.

Richard shifted his body and quickly glanced back in case Dan used his inattention as an excuse to punch him. Stevie was standing beside the farthest tree, watching silently. He could tell from the light of the lightbulb over the back door that she was fearful but he wasn't sure if it was for herself or for him. 

"Seems the bitch wants more of what I got," Dan crowed at him.

He grunted when Richard, without warning, clocked him in the face. Dan reeled back as Stevie called for help a couple of times and then ran to Richard's side.

"Richard, stop. You'll get hurt," Stevie urged.

Richard waited for her to say something similar to Dan and was bemused when she didn't. He realized her worry apparently only  extended to him. Dan was about to return the punch when they heard people's voices. The ones from the front were coming around back and Richard was relieved to hear Lindsey's voice among them. Stevie called to them and waved them over as Richard delighted in Dan's panicked look.

"Steves," Lindsey said to her as he and his friends walked up to them. "What's going on? Why did you yell for help?"

"Because I found him pressing her up against this tree with his hand up her dress," Richard said as he jabbed his finger at Dan.

Stevie tensed when Lindsey instantly went into pit bull mode while Dan shifted nervously under the angry stares of the group.

"Is that true, Stevie," Lindsey asked her.

"Yes. I came out here to get some fresh air and he followed me. He talked to me at first and then suddenly came at me and flattened himself against me and put his hand over my mouth while he started feeling me up."

"And that's how I found her," Richard said. "I heard her cry out through her nose, I guess, and went to see what was happening. I was looking for him anyway because when I was talking to Stevie earlier in the living room, he was in the doorway staring at her like a piece of meat and I was afraid something like this might happen."

"I didn't know she was spoken for," Dan said nervously while the group gave him murderous looks. "She's not wearing a sign or anything with someone's name on it."

"True," Richard said. "But the fact you had to press against her and shut her mouth says to me, you thought she didn't want you." 

"Where's Tom?" Lindsey said to his friends.He looked at Dan."I think you better leave, buddy, party's over for you," he growled at him as Warren Zevon ran to find Tom Montcrief.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

After Tom apologized profusely to everyone and took his friend home, the party wound down and within an hour everyone else had gone home. The guests left the food so the three friends wrapped it up or put it in containers so it could be used again. The house was in disarray but it was nearly two in the morning, so they left it for the night and went to their bedrooms. Richard was out in front and didn't know Stevie and Lindsey were behind him until he turned to close his door. 

"Thank you, Richard," Stevie said to him as she and Lindsey stood in the doorway.

"Oh! Yeah. Of course, Stevie. I wouldn't have let that brute continue to do that to you," Richard said.

"Like I said, I trust you with Stevie and this is why," Lindsey said, smiling. " Not only did you save her but you knew something was up to begin with."

"Yeah, I didn't like the predatory look in his eyes when we were in the living room."

Stevie hugged him tightly. 

"You really are my gallant knight," she teased. "So will you be slaying the dragon next?"

Lindsey snickered when Richard turned beet red at that. Stevie stepped back and laid her hand against his cheek.

"Thank you for everything," she said before giving him a peck on the cheek.

"You're welcome," Richard said.

Stevie bid him goodnight before turning and heading towards her bedroom. Lindsey watched over his shoulder until she was in the bedroom and then turned back to Richard.

"My gallant knight," Lindsey said, amused.

"Yeah, well she kinda referenced that earlier in the week when I stood up to you," Richard said.

"Well, you can tell my gal looooves her fairy tales," he said, melodramatically rolling his eyes while Richard laughed. "Anyway, I really am grateful to you for saving her. If you hadn't had your suspicions about him and gone looking, who knows what might have happened."

Richard nodded, not wanting to imagine Stevie possibly being raped if he hadn't found her.

"Tom is upset and embarrassed," Lindsey said. "He swore to me his friend never acted that way before."

"Probably never met anyone like Stevie before either," Richard said.

Lindsey laughed.

"True, Stevie is an original."

"I agree wholeheartedly."

Lindsey grinned.

"I owe ya one, man," he said.

"Nah, you owe me nothing, Just being a good roommate, is all."

"And then some."

Lindsey clapped him on the shoulder and wished him goodnight. Richard returned it and when his friend went to bed, he turned around and closed the bedroom door behind him.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter Eleven 

That's the last we saw of Danny boy. He never went anywhere with Tom if we were there. I suppose he could claim he's one of the few men on the planet who had his hand up Stevie's dress. But good riddance to him and I'm glad I found him before he put more up her dress than just his hand. 

So I wanna swing back to a happy, silly memory. Sorry. I'm sure you want turmoil and sex and soap opera shit but I can't write that continuously, I have to think of the good times too so I don't get discouraged writing this. 

Besides, it was nearing the holidays and with my promotion, I got a raise and so we were able to do a bit more and have a bit more fun than usual. I was more than happy to chip in and provide that. After all, I wanted some fun too. 

Before I go on, a note about Ken. I kept trying to arrange a meeting between him and Stevie and Lindsey but something always happened or came up and he ended up not meeting them until after they joined Fleetwood Mac. He was hired to record them live when they were appearing on the King Biscuit Flower Hour, even though he'd never heard of them before and so didn't think he should be doing it. He only did it because people told him he'd be crazy not to do it. And I forgot to tell him Stevie and Lindsey's names. It wasn't deliberate, I thought I had told him at one point but I guess I never did. I always called them my friends or the people I live with when we talked. This oversight proved disastrous for Ken. Not wanting to appear clueless about the band, he walked right up to Stevie when he saw her, extended his hand and said "Lindsey, nice to meet you, love your work," to which she replied, "I'm Stevie," in an angry voice and walked away in a huff, leaving him embarrassed. I don't think he ever forgave me for forgetting to tell them their names so sorry, Ken, I didn't mean to cause you humiliation. 

So if you're waiting for Ken to meet Stevie and Lindsey, it doesn't come till later. 

Anyway, the first of the holidays was Halloween. I love Halloween, love the decorations and going to haunted houses. But I really hadn't had the money to do anything until my raise unless I happened to be invited to a party. But when I was at work a few days before Halloween, I saw an ad in the newspaper for an old horror movie marathon at an art house theater near our house. Three movies with discounted popcorn and sodas for the night was too good to resist. The movies were the original silent version of The Phantom of the Opera, Bela Lugosi's Dracula and weirdly enough, Psycho. Why they put Psycho with two movies from the 20s and 30s is beyond me. Maybe they threw Psycho in to appeal to people who didn't want to see silly old monster movies all night. 

Whatever the reason, I thought it sounded like a good idea. Everyone I knew was going to a Halloween party, including Keith, but to be honest, I was bored with that. I hadn't gone to a film marathon since I was a kid and although I'd seen Dracula and Psycho, I'd never seen the silent version of Phantom. Even if no one else wanted to go, I did, and so I politely declined when Keith invited me to a party he was going to and said I had other plans. 

So that night on the way home, I stopped up at a drug store. Caught up in the Halloween spirit, I purchased a couple of Halloween gifts for my friends and got something extra for a bit of bratty fun, a big black, plastic rat with painted red eyes. I got home, was relieved to see I was the first one there and chuckling to myself, put the rat on top of the TV. I then went to fix myself a cup of coffee. A half hour later, Stevie came home. I was in the kitchen having a second cup of coffee, reading a book when I heard the scream. I burst out laughing and Stevie came in the room, eyeing me. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

"Ho ho, ha ha," she said as Richard bent over the table with laughter. 

She threw the rat on the table and tried to look stern but a smile slowly spread over her face and she chuckled. 

"Yeah, really funny," she said dryly. "Where'd you get that?" 

"Drug store. For a laugh and...got you and Lindsey gifts," he said, reaching for a small, white sack near his mug.

"Oh God, what could this be?" 

Stevie's eyes widened in surprise when he pulled out a tiny stuffed black cat. The cat was wearing a black witch's hat and cape and had green glass eyes. 

"Richard," Stevie said, taking it from him and gazing at it, "I love it." 

"Thought of you when I saw it." 

Stevie hugged him. 

"I'll get you something in return." 

"No need. I just have some extra money now and I wanted us to have some happy holidays. We deserve it." 

Stevie nodded and hugged the cat to her body. 

"What did you get Lindsey? The rat?" 

Richard shook his head. He reached into the sack and pulled out a tiny, cloth ghost puppet. Stevie took it, examined it and eyed Richard. 

"You got this so you guys could torment me with it, didn't you?"

Richard gave her a look of innocence and told her no. He grinned when Stevie snorted at that. But she put it on her left hand and Richard grinned when she toulsed his hair with it. 

"Speaking of Lindsey, where is he," she said, giving the ghost back to Richard. 

"Dunno. He wasn't here when I got home." 

"Must be with a friend if we had our cars. Hopefully, he'll be back soon." 

Richard helped Stevie prepare dinner, noting with distaste that it was cheeseburger macaroni Hamburger Helper. He got the ground meat out of the fridge, dreaming of the day when he would no longer have to eat the stuff. 

While they were cooking, Lindsey came in the front door. He was carrying a small brown sack with him as he followed the scent of frying meat. 

"Howdy, all!" 

"Where'd you go," Stevie said, looking over her shoulder as she stood at the stove. 

"I went with Walter to his house. He's working on some tracks for his album, he wants to make a deal with us. He'll play on our album if we play on his." 

"Oh, okay," Stevie said as she drained the hamburger, "That's fair." 

"He also wants to use Sound City and Richard, he wants you to engineer it." 

"By myself?" 

"I think so. He doesn't know Keith as well as he knows you." 

Richard was flabbergasted. 

"I'm not sure if I can, I mean by myself," he said. "I haven't been an assistant that long." 

"It's not for awhile. Perhaps a month or so, he's still writing and arranging the songs. Do you think Keith could get you ready by then?" 

"I can ask him. I think he'd let me," Richard said, silently hoping his boss would let him do it. 

"Let us know so Walter can find someone else if he won't let you." 

Richard nodded, hoping fervently that he would get the project. Stevie then told him about Richard's shopping spree and Richard showed him the rat. Lindsey took it and an evil grin spread over his face as he looked at Stevie. 

"I'll be having fun with this," Lindsey said. 

"If you scare me with that thing, Lindsey, I'll beat you with it," Stevie said, jabbing her finger in his face. 

Richard gave Lindsey the ghost puppet. He put the rat down, put it on and Richard laughed when he ran around the kitchen with it, chasing Stevie while bellowing CASPER THE FRIENDLY GHOST at the top of his lungs. When he stopped after a few minutes, he handed Stevie the bag. Inside was a pound of ground chuck wrapped in butcher paper, Morton salt, a couple of boxes of Kraft macaroni and cheese and a bag of candy corn. Stevie looked at him. 

"Walter had some extra money so we got some food and a Halloween treat," he said with a shrug. 

Stevie hugged and thanked him. Lindsey took out the bag of candy corn, opened it and everyone got a handful of it before Stevie rolled up the open end and put it on the counter. She put the food away while Richard told them about his idea for Halloween night. 

"I want to go but I have enough to pay for you guys too," he said, "and get us popcorn and sodas." 

"That sounds cool," Stevie said, "but are you sure you can afford us?" 

"Oh yeah. It's not that much to get in and popcorn and sodas will be under a dollar that night. I'm happy to do it, especially since you've supported me." 

"Never seen the original Phantom before," Stevie said, "I'd love to go just for that." 

"I thought it'd be a nice alternative to the usual parties everyone throws," Richard said, shrugging. 

"I agree," Lindsey said, sitting down at the table while Ginny came in the room. "I haven't been to a horror movie marathon in years." 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

So we agreed to do it. I was so glad I had the money to treat everyone. It was nice not having to use every bit of my paycheck for necessities. And it was another way to give us hope and keep us going. Gotta have fun in this old world every once in awhile. 

So we all politely declined any invitations we got for Halloween night parties and told no one else of our plans since I was the one paying. And on Halloween night, we piled into my car and headed to the theater. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

After paying admission and getting some buttered popcorn and Cokes, they found three seats down near the front. Halloween music was playing from the speakers in the ceiling while they munched on some popcorn and drank their drinks. Other people were slowly coming in as the three friends talked softly and waited for the movies to start. When they did start, the first one was Phantom.

Lindsey was sitting next to Richard with Stevie on his left. There were a lot of people in the theater but it wasn't packed and they had their row to themselves. As the movie started and the places cards came on screen with the movie's dialogue, Lindsey nudged Richard. 

"Wait," he said to him in a loud whisper, "I can't read. I didn't know reading would be involved!" 

Richard chuckled softly. 

"Yeah, I'm an engineer not a scholar," he whispered back. "I didn't get an edumacation like some people." 

"Will you guys cool it?" Stevie whispered while the men snickered. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

On screen, Christine pulled off the Phantom's mask from behind, revealing his disfigured skull face. 

"Hey, that looks like my high school history teacher," Richard whispered to Lindsey. 

"Looks more like my first girlfriend," Lindsey whispered back. 

"You guys," Stevie said softly, rolling her eyes while they giggled. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

During Dracula, Renfield threw open the doors to the hold on the ship. He looked down at the camera with a crazed look and disheveled hair and laughed "He hee hee heeeee." 

"Hey, we can do this laugh for Stevie," Lindsey said softly to Richard. 

"Yeah, day and night," Richard whispered back. 

"You do and you'll be sorry," Stevie growled softly as the men laughed. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

During Psycho, Lindsey leaned towards Richard again. 

"Hey, you're a shrink, what's your professional diagnosis of Norman," he said softly to him. 

Richard pretended to think. 

"He's...batshit?," he finally said. 

"Okay, I'm never going to the movies with both of you again," Stevie said as the two men laughed softly. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

"Ah, that was great," Richard said as the three of them walked out of the theater after it was over. 

"Yeah, hadn't done that in years," Lindsey said as they headed towards their car. 

By now it was nearing ten o'clock. Lindsey looked at his watch. 

"Night is still young. Wanna go find a haunted house?," he said to them. 

"Actually, I have something better if we can find her," Richard said. "The ghost of Lucy Samson." 

"Ghost of Lucy Samson," Lindsey said as they reached the car. "And Lucy Samson would be..." 

"Ghost of a little girl who was buried alive," Richard said, unlocking the door and getting inside. 

He unlocked the doors for the others and they got in as he shut his door. 

"Go on, you were saying," Lindsey said when they were all inside the car. 

"When I was a kid, there was this cemetary near my house," Richard said as he put his key in the ignition switch, "and people said in the 1800s, a little girl went into a deep coma and people thought she was dead. They ended up burying her alive and by the time they realized their mistake, it was too late." 

"And you can see her ghost in the graveyard," Lindsey said. 

"If you're lucky. Wanna try our luck?" 

"Hell, yeah, let's go," Lindsey said. 

"I don't know about this," Stevie said. 

"Come on, Steves, ghost ain't gonna hurt ya," Lindsey said, nudging her from the back seat. "Let's go see." 

Stevie looked at Richard beside her. He was waiting with his hand on the key. 

"Okay but I'm not getting out of the car," she said. 

"Drive on, my good man," Lindsey said. 

"Yes, sir," Richard replied, turning the key. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

As they drove towards the cemetary, Stevie rolled her eyes while the men quoted from the movies and made jokes. 

"Kill the slut, Norman," Lindsey said, imitating Mother. "Kill the nasty little slut!" 

"And don't forget to take out the trash afterwards, Norman," Richard said, continuing the imitation. "We don't live in a barn!" 

"And clean the litter box, Norman, kitty needs fresh litter." 

"You guys are meant for each other," Stevie said while the men snickered. 

They stopped at a red light. Stevie was looking out the passenger side window when she felt a tap on her shoulder. She looked over and gasped when she saw Richard. He was looking intently at her while he imitated Norman's maniacal grin from the end of the movie. The green light coming from the odometer on the dashboard in front of him cast his face in a pale, sickly glow and made it look even more demonic and evil to her. 

"Why, I wouldn't harm a fly," Richard said in Mother's voice. 

"Stop that," Stevie said, swatting his head while the men laughed. 

The car drove on. By now they were getting away from downtown and the traffic was thinning out. 

"He hee hee heeee," Lindsey said from the backstreet. 

Richard grinned. 

"I never drink...wine," he added, imitating Bela Lugosi. 

"Except on special occasions when I drink a glass of Pinot Noir, blah blah," Lindsey said, continuing the imitation. 

Stevie chuckled at that. Richard smiled, knowing Stevie was loosening up and joining in the fun. Suddenly, Lindsey started singing a song he made up to the tune of Billy, Don't Be A Hero. 

"Norman, don't be a psycho. Don't kill that slut with that knife!" 

Richard laughed hysterically and Stevie chuckled. 

"Take it, man," Lindsey said, nudging Richard's shoulder. 

Richard thought for a moment. 

"Norman, don't be a psycho, that bitch just wants to be your wife," he finally sang. 

The men laughed. They fell silent for a moment as they drove on. Then they heard Stevie start singing to the tune of Half Breed. 

"My mother always molested me. She used to bully and belittle me. Now I'm grown and I'm a good little son. I kill those bitches out there just for fuuuun." 

The men laughed and cheered while Stevie smiled to herself. 

"Hey look, she finally got off her high horse and joined us on the ground, "Lindsey said to Richard. 

Stevie shrugged. 

"If you can't beat em...," she said. 

"Half me," Richard said, taking up the chorus of the song, "that's all I ever heard. Half me, while I'm  stuffing little birds. Half me, he's no good they warned. Both halves are against me since the day I was boooorn!" 

Now both Stevie and Lindsey laughed hysterically while Richard gave them a quick bow from the waist. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

"Okay, here it is," Richard said as he slowed the car down. 

Stevie looked out the windshield as he turned left and drove through the gates of a cemetery. Above the gates was an arched iron sign that read PEACEFUL REST CEMETERY. She sat back in her seat while Richard drove slowly down a paved road towards the back where the older graves were located. It was nearly eleven o'clock now and the cemetery was deserted along with everything else. The moon was out but so were the clouds and the graves were in shadow, making it even more creepy. Stevie glanced at Lindsey who was now leaning up and poking his head through the gap in the seat where the armrest was. He met Stevie's eyes and they widened. 

"Might see a ghost tonight, Steves," he said with gravitas. 

"I doubt it," Stevie said. 

Richard finally stopped the car near the very back of the cemetery, put it in park and turned it off. He left the keys in the ignition and put his hands in his lap while he looked around. With the car off, the silence became deafening and Stevie shifted nervously as she looked at the tombstones surrounding them. 

"Are you sure this is the spot?," Lindsey asked. 

"Positive," Richard said. "We just have to play the waiting game now." 

"Can we play the game then with the car on?," Stevie asked him. 

Richard shook his head. 

"No. Car noise might scare her away," he said. 

"You mean it might spook the spook," Lindsey said. 

"Exactly," Richard said. 

They sat and looked out the windows. Stevie became more nervous and jumpy the longer they waited. She didn't like cemeteries, especially on Halloween when it was nearly midnight. She wanted to be home where it was warm and cozy.

"Wait!" She turned her head when she heard Richard's hushed voice. He was looking out the driver's side window. "I think I see something," he said, pointing out the window. 

Stevie tried to see where he was pointing but his head was in the way.  She leaned in closer while Lindsey scooted over to the window beside him and looked out. 

"Thought I just saw her," Richard said in a hushed voice while Stevie inched closer to his side. "Stevie, can you see it?" 

"Not with your head in the way, Richard," Stevie said. 

"Oops, sorry," Richard said, tilting his head back. 

He pointed out the window as Stevie scooted up beside him and leaned over to look where he was pointing. 

"See it now?" 

Stevie frowned. All she could see were gravestones and a large white marble crypt in the distance. She shook her head. 

"No, I don't see anything, Richard," she said, shrugging. 

"That's funny, I'm sure I just saw BWAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" 

Stevie screamed in terror when Richard suddenly bellowed at her face. She flung herself back against the passenger door with her hand over her heart and glared at Richard who was nearly pissing his pants with laughter. Lindsey was now lying on the back seat laughing hysterically while Stevie fumed. 

"You mean this was all just a fucking joke?," Stevie said. 

Richard smiled and nodded while Lindsey continued to lie on the seat and laugh. 

"You drove us all the way out here just to scare me," Stevie said. "There really is no ghost then." 

"Not that I know of," Richard said with a shrug. 

Lindsey recovered enough to sit up but he was still giggling. 

"So you didn't hear stories about this place growing up," Stevie said to Richard, resisting the urge to throttle him. 

"I didn't grow up here, I grew up across town." 

"Damn you, Richard," Stevie said, swatting his head while Lindsey laughed anew. "You're an immature bastard sometimes." 

Richard grinned and covered his head while Stevie swatted it. He chuckled when she stopped and winked at her. 

"Happy Halloween, Stevie," he said. 

Stevie chuckled in spite of herself. 

"Yeah, yeah," she said, now feigning annoyance. "Get us home, you overgrown toddler." 

Richard turned the key in the ignition and frowned when the engine didn't turn over. 

"That's funny," he said, trying again. 

"Richard, stop clowning around, joke's over," Stevie said with real annoyance. 

She sighed when Richard tried again and then cursed aloud. 

"Car works, Richard. I know this joke. My stupid brother used to do this when we were growing up." 

"It won't turn over, Stevie," Richard said. 

"Bullshit!" 

"It's not bullshit. The alternator must be screwed up again." 

Stevie glared at him. 

"You better be fucking kidding, Dashut," she growled. "The alternator better not have died here." 

"What if it has, Stevie? It's not exactly a brand new car, you know." 

Stevie stared at him for a moment before grabbing the key and turning it. Richard's eyes boggled as the engine roared to life with no trouble. 

"Oh my God, Stevie, you fixed it," he said in wonder while Lindsey laughed. "How did you do that?" 

"Drive, Richard " Stevie said. 

"You have the magic touch, Stevie, bless you!" 

"Just drive, Richard, before I shove you out the door and make you run all the way home." 

Richard chuckled and pinched her cheek affectionately. Stevie shook her head good naturedly, settled back in her seat and watched Richard drive out of the cemetery.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter Twelve 

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is one of the reasons why I didn't move out. Despite all the turmoil and fights, there were more moments like Halloween night that made it worth staying with them.

Stevie did forgive me for the prank, although I did waste precious gas doing it. But it was worth it in the end. Worth it for the laughter, camaraderie and the memory of the three of us having a good time. I was more than willing to sacrifice gas for that. 

So, into November we went and Thanksgiving approached. We were all planning to spend the day with our families, however an offer came our way that was too good to pass up. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

Keith and Richard were sitting side by side at the soundboard while the band they were producing were in the iso booth playing one of their songs. The two men were listening intently while they turned dials or pushed buttons. Keith was letting Richard take the lead more and more now, letting him make the decisions about what worked and what didn't and Richard was proud of that. He felt like he was truly an engineer now and not just the assistant. 

When the band was finished with the song, Keith told them to take a break. As the band relaxed, Keith looked at Richard. 

"Doing anything for Thanksgiving," Keith asked him. 

"Going home that day to my parent's house, Stevie and Lindsey are doing that too. You?" 

"Same but I'm going out of town. Huge family gathering and I'm going to my aunt and uncle's house in San Fran. Its bigger." 

"Sounds nice." 

"I'll be gone for a week though and I need someone to housesit over Thanksgiving. I was thinking of the three of you." 

Richard froze and Keith chuckled at the shocked look on his face. 

"And...if you do it, I'll throw in a Thanksgiving dinner with all the trimmings. You guys would have to fix it, of course, but maybe you can have dinner together before you go to your parents' houses or after." 

"Keith, I mean...this is too much..." 

Keith held up his hand. 

"Not at all. I know money's tight for all of you and even if you are going home, the three of you deserve a Thanksgiving together. I'm gonna go Monday before Thanksgiving to San Fran and be back on Monday after. I already arranged it with my boss and I asked that he pay you for the three days you would have been working. He agreed." 

Richard couldn't believe it. 

"I don't know what to say," he said. 

"Just say yes. And tell Stevie she doesn't need to clean that Saturday. Just bring what you need to and relax for a week in my house." 

Richard gushed out a yes, hardly waiting to tell his friends about this. By now, the band was ready and they turned their attention back to recording. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

It was late when they finally stopped and by the time Richard got home, it was nearly midnight. Ginny was the only one home but Richard decided to stay up to try to give his friends the news when they got back. He took a shower, got some coffee from the pot Stevie left for him and turned on Johnny Carson. But soon his eyelids got heavy and he fell asleep sitting up. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

"Richard?" 

Richard gasped and jerked awake when he felt someone shaking him. For a moment, he forgot where he was until the fog in his brain cleared and he saw Stevie and Lindsey standing in front of him. Stevie drew her hand back from his shoulder. 

"Wha...what time is it," he murmured. 

"Nearly four in the morning," Stevie said. "Sorry. You fell asleep on the couch, so I thought you'd like to sleep in bed for a few hours till you had to get up for work." 

Richard nodded and then remembered why he'd been on the couch in the first place. Clearing the last of the fog from his mind, he told them what Keith had said. Stevie and Lindsey stared at him in shock, which slowly turned to joy as he told them more and more about Keith's offer. 

"Oh my God, this is wonderful," Stevie said when he finished. "We can have our dinner before or after we get back from our parents." 

"And Keith's boss is going to pay me for the three days I'm going to miss since Keith won't be there so I won't be short on my paycheck either." 

Stevie squealed with delight while Ginny, hearing her squeal, came back into the room. 

"He'll let us bring her, right," Lindsey said, pointing to Ginny while Stevie picked her up. 

"I think so. He said we could bring what we need but I'll ask today to be sure. He knows we have a dog though." 

"Oh God, Lindsey, this is wonderful," Stevie said, turning to him. "We can save our money then. We don't have to get extra food." 

"And we'll get fat too," Lindsey said, patting his belly. 

"I wanted to tell you badly. I tried waiting until you came home but I fell asleep here." Stevie put Ginny on the ground and hugged Richard. 

"God, I'm so glad we met you," Stevie said. 

Richard returned the hug. 

"Me too," he said. 

"Maybe Keith would do the same for us at Christmas," Lindsey said. 

"Thought of that. If we do a good job with the housesitting, he might," Richard said. 

"Don't bring it up though," Stevie said. "Don't jinx all this." 

"It's not a jinx, Steves, its good fortune," Lindsey said. 

"Yeah and I don't want to jinx it," Stevie said. 

"I'm not gonna ask," Richard said, shaking his head. "It'd be rude anyway." 

Stevie nodded. 

"If he wants us there Christmas, he'll say so," she said. "For now, let's just enjoy our time there for Thanksgiving." 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

Richard was getting ready for bed, making plans to get as much sleep as he could before he had to get up for work. As he took off his T-shirt, he heard a soft knock on his door followed by Stevie calling his name, he put his T-shirt back on and opened the door. Stevie was standing there, hugging a large pad of paper against her chest. 

"Stevie, what's wrong?" 

"Sorry, I've been working on a new song and I wanted you to see it first." 

"Okay..." 

Stevie hesitated. 

"Actually, I'll show it to you at breakfast so you can get some sleep." 

"Okay...," Richard said, now curious about the lyrics. 

"I'll see you in a couple of hours then. Goodnight." 

"Goodnight, Stevie." 

Stevie apologized again and walked back to her room. Richard was puzzled and dying to see her lyrics but sleep won out and he shut the door and finished getting ready for bed. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

A few hours later, Stevie and Lindsey were at the breakfast table, eating. Stevie finally showed Richard her lyrics and he sipped his coffee while he read them silently. 

You may not be as strong as me and I may not care to teach you. 

Richard was intrigued, just as he was with I'm So Afraid. He read through the lyrics, loving the poetry. However, one line stuck with him and when he finished, he looked at her. 

"Hate gave you me for a lover," he said, giving her lyrics back to her. "Bit harsh, isn't it?" 

"I know," Stevie said, putting the pad down beside her. "But I feel that way sometimes. I love Lindsey but he can be a hateful ass at times." 

"Yeah, I know that all too well," Richard said. 

"I'm sorry you've had to see his bad side," Stevie said. 

"Everybody has a bad side, even me." 

"I know. I just wish he wouldn't drink so much," Stevie said, lowering her voice. "That's part of the problem." 

"I agree but I drink a bit too much too." 

"But you're not the angry drunk type. You don't turn on people when you're drunk, you just get more chummy and lovey dovey. His drinking brings out his temper. And...he's bossy. I think he hates that I don't cling to him like some shrinking violet." 

"Has he said this before? That he hates your independence?" 

"Not in words but in actions, yes. He wants me around him all the time. If I didn't have to work to support us, he'd probably keep me here." 

Richard had noticed some of this but didn't think it was that bad. But he still thought Lindsey had narcissistic tendencies and narcissists were control freaks who wanted everything and everybody under their control and they lashed out at people who wouldn't stay under their thumbs and abused them, verbally, physically or both. He wondered how bad the abuse really was. Hate gave you me for a lover was a very telling line for him. 

"You haven't shown Lindsey this yet," he said, wondering what his friend's reaction to it would be. 

Stevie shook her head. 

"I wanted your reaction first. We need one more song and I'm hoping this is it." 

Richard nodded. 

"I like it. I would love to see what you do with it." 

"Thanks. We already are planning to do a second album after this one and if we do, I want you to produce it." 

"I'd be honored." 

Stevie squeezed his hand before the two friends hurried through their breakfast so they could finish getting ready for work.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter Thirteen 

That song, if you don't know, became Frozen Love, the song that Keith played for Mick Fleetwood that led him to ask Lindsey to join his band.

Lindsey never said what his reaction to the song was or if he liked the lyric, hate gave you me for a lover. They worked on it, recorded it and the rest is history. 

In addition to good times and bad times, there were also bizarre  times. Even more bizarre than the time I ended up in my underwear with Lindsey. It was never boring living with Lindsey and Stevie, that's for sure. And so I'd like to give you some memories of strangeness that happened from time to time. The first memory actually happened while I was at work so I wasn't around for most of it. Stevie told me what happened after I asked her what the hell happened the morning after it occured. So this is what Stevie told me, except for the end where I come in. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

Stevie sighed and stretched her back before she got into her car to go home. It had been a long day at the restaurant and she was tired and sore. But she had to go to the store and pick up some food before he went home. She wasn't looking forward to it but it had to be done. She missed the fact that Richard didn't have the same hours as her anymore. Unlike Lindsey, who rarely helped her with dinner, he was more than willing to lend a hand. And because he'd lived alone, he could cook so he helped in that way too. But with his late hours, he couldn't do that anymore. Still, she was happy for him. He was doing what he loved and he had gotten a raise, which helped things considerably. It'd been nearly seven months since he'd moved in and she'd already gotten used to his presence, his smiling face, his sense of humor and his wisdom. 

As she drove her car, she thought about what they could have. She was tired of Hamburger Helper, as was everyone else, but if was cheap and filling. Still, she decided to splurge a bit and get something else, she just didn't know what. 

The store wasn't far from work, so she pulled in, stopped the car and glanced down at her dress. For work, she wore a powder blue dress with white collar and white trim on the sleeves and a white apron around her waist. Flesh colored pantyhose and black flats completed the look. She'd taken off the apron but she still looked like a dork in the dress and she smelled of sweat and cigarettes. She hoped there weren't too many people in the store tonight. 

She was wrong. The store was packed. But thankfully, no one paid her that much attention so she shopped for some cubed meat, potatoes and vegetables so she could make some beef stew. She got a few more necessity items, also tired of always buying the same things over and over. She was grateful to Keith for offering his house for Thanksgiving. Even though she was going home for the holidays, she loved the idea of spending a dinner with her lover and best friend and to have enough to have a really nice dinner with enough for all. 

She finished getting her food, went up to the checkout to pay for the food. A young boy bagged it up and put it in the cart while she fished in her purse for her billfold. While she was doing that, a mother stopped near her cart to light a cigarette. Her toddler son was sitting in the toddler seat at the front of the cart, playing with a rubber duck. As the woman lit her cigarette, the boy leaned over to look in Stevie's grocery sacks. As he looked, the mother jerked her cart to get it going again and the toddler lost his grip on the duck. It fell inside one of the sacks as the toddler cried and tried to get his unconcerned mother to stop and go back for it. The mother went on, annoyed at her now crying son while Stevie, unaware at what happened behind her, turned after finishing the transaction, grabbed the cart and headed out the door. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

She got home and was dismayed to see Lindsey was completely stoned, lying on the floor with his guitar at his side just staring at the ceiling. 

"Lindsey, can you help me carry in the groceries," she said, walking by him with one bag out of the three she had. 

She put the bag down on the kitchen counter, came out and noticed Lindsey hadn't moved a muscle. 

"Thanks so much for your help," Stevie said sarcastically as she passed by him out the open door. 

Wishing Richard was home so he could lend a hand, Stevie seized the other two bags from the back of the car, kicked the door closed and glared at Lindsey as she passed by him. Lindsey was still on the floor, staring up at the ceiling, seemingly unaware of her presence. She went back to the front door and slammed it and that seemed to bring Lindsey out of his stupor. 

"Stevie, you back, babe?" 

Stevie stared at him silently before growling deep in her throat and walking back to the kitchen. 

Lindsey sat up and watched her walk into the kitchen. He didn't do anything more till he heard the grocery sacks rustling and then he leapt up, suddenly aware that more food was in the house. He hurried to the kitchen, ecstatic when he saw the grocery sacks. 

"Food," he said, excited. 

"Don't you dare, Lindsey, I'm cooking supper," Stevie said, pointing her finger at him. 

Lindsey ignored her warning look, strolling over to the third bag while Stevie sighed and began to take food out of the first bag. Lindsey peered in the bag and frowned when he saw the rubber duck. He pulled it out and studied it. 

"What's this?" 

Stevie looked up from her bag, looked at the duck and stared at it for a moment in confusion. Then it dawned on her. 

"When my groceries were being rung up, I thought I saw a mother and her baby stop near my cart. That must have belonged to the baby. Leave it on the counter and I'll take it back to the store when I get the time."

Lindsey turned the duck over in his hands, looking at it from every angle. The duck was scuffed with flecks of paint missing in spots. He squeezed it and it made a honking noise. Lindsey chuckled and took the duck with him as he walked out of the kitchen. Stevie watched him go, an odd look on her face, before she shook her head and went back to putting away the groceries. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

By the time Stevie had finished dinner, Lindsey had smoked another joint and drank a beer and was stoned and tipsy. Stevie found him sitting on the sofa, a goofy grin on his face while the duck sat on his left leg. He was watching TV or at least his eyes were focused on it. The Odd Couple was on and Stevie glanced at it before turning her attention towards Lindsey. 

"Dinnertime, Linds," she said, walking over to him, "and get rid of that duck." 

She made a grab for the duck but Lindsey snatched it up and held it close to his body. 

"No! Qwackers is mine," he said. 

"Qwackers," Stevie said in disbelief. 

"Yes. Qwackers Q. Duck. He's my friend now!" 

"Lindsey, that's a kid's toy and...oh, never mind. Just...come and eat," she said, not wanting to argue with him. 

Lindsey picked up the duck and followed her into the kitchen. Qwackers was beside Lindsey's bowl the entire time he ate and Stevie eyed it at times, wondering if she could get Ginny to bury it somewhere. 

After dinner, Stevie did the dishes while Lindsey took a bath. After she put away the food and cleaned up, she wrote a note to Richard and let him know the stew was in the fridge. By the time she was done, she needed to use the toilet badly. 

To her surprise, Lindsey was still in the bathroom even though it'd been nearly forty five minutes since he went in there. She decided to use the toilet anyway. She'd seen Lindsey naked before anyway. She walked to the bathroom, opened the door and froze. Lindsey was sitting in the tub moving Qwackers around in the water like a three year old. 

"Lindsey, what are you doing," Stevie said, coming in and shutting the door. 

Lindsey gave her an odd look. 

"Bathing," he said, "what do you think I'm doing?" 

"Playing with a toy like a kindergartner, that's what I think you're doing." 

"Qwackers is my friend. He's having a bath with me." 

Stevie rolled her eyes. She hurriedly peed and got out of there before she grabbed the duck and shoved it where the sun don't shine. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

So that was the situation. I was at work and unaware of all this. I had to work late because we were finishing up the tracks and finally getting the album done. Because this was the end of the project, I didn't have to work the next morning, which was a relief since I was exhausted. Keith congratulated me on a job well done. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

"You did good, Rich. You're definately ready to be more than an assistant." 

"Thanks, man," Richard said. 

"We might have someone else coming in a day or two from now. I'll call and let you know. For now, get your ass home and get some well deserved rest." 

Richard thanked him. They said their goodbyes and Richard walked out of the studio, tired but happy. By the time he got home, everyone was in bed. He quietly walked to the kitchen, saw the coffee and the note left for him. He read it and debated about whether or not to eat the stew. He decided to eat some for breakfast along with the coffee. He turned the coffeemaker off and went to bed. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

Richard was dreaming. In his dream, he was lying on a sandy beach on Tahiti. A young, voluptuous Tahitian girl was lying beside him on the sand. Her long, black flowing hair draped her face while she peeled green grapes and fed them to Richard. Richard had his arms behind his head and a contented smile on his face while she fed him. 

"Are you contented, my lord," she asked him. 

"Very," he said before eating another grape. 

"Would you like me to make love to you, my lord?" 

"Oh yes." 

"You're wish is my command, my lord. But first..." 

Dream Richard frowned when the girl sat up and began to knock on a door that magically appeared beside her. She knocked on it and said "Richard!" while Richard watched her in confusion. She kept on knocking and repeating his name, getting louder and louder until... 

Richard gasped and jerked awake. He heard the knocking and his name being called but now there was no sexy girl or Tahitian beach. Then his mind registered the knocking was coming from his bedroom door and the person calling his name was Lindsey. 

"Richard, you awake," 

Lindsey said as he knocked. Richard checked his clock and saw it was nearly three in the morning. 

"Ugh, this better be important," Richard growled as he got up. "Alright, Lindsey, I'm coming! Don't beat the door down!" 

The knocking stopped to Richard's relief. He didn't bother to put on a shirt, going to the door in just his boxers. 

"What do you..." 

He was speaking as he opened the door but was cut short when a rubber duck was thrust in his face. For a moment, he thought he was still dreaming since he couldn't fathom why Lindsey would have a rubber duck in the first place. he was about to ask Lindsey for an explanation when Lindsey grinned at him. 

"Like him? His name is Qwackers Q. Duck. He's my new buddy. What'd ya think?" 

Richard could only stare, his brain was in shock. 

"Well, what to you think?" 

Richard eyed him. 

"You wanna know what I think," he finally said. 

"Yes," Lindsey said eagerly. 

"I think you should go to Hell, Buckingham!" 

Lindsey flinched when Richard slammed the door in his face. 

"Well, someone's in a mood this morning," Lindsey said. 

Shrugging, he turned and held Qwackers close to him as he walked back to his bedroom.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter Fourteen 

Yeah. I definitely asked Stevie what that was all about the next morning. Interestingly, Lindsey only had Qwackers for a few days before the duck mysteriously disappeared. We never saw him again but by then Lindsey didn't care and moved on to other things. 

Before I tell you about another odd incident, I have to tell you about my blog on Tumblr called Truth and Consequences. In this blog, I told stories about my life, my friends and I posted photos and I answered questions from fans. One fan asked me one time if I happened to see Stevie changing one time. I figured he meant did I ever walk in on her naked. I told him I saw her changing from a shy, young woman into a confident rock star, which isn't a lie, I did see that. But as to seeing Stevie naked, I actually did see that one time, although not in a sexual way. Still, its a very strange and quirky story and it began about a week before Thanksgiving after another long night at the studio. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

Richard entered the house and closed the door. About a week ago, he and Keith had started up with another band and because it was at the beginning of the project, there were long hours of recording the tracks so they could work on them. Plus, it was near the holidays and everyone wanted to get as much work done as possible before they took a break. 

Richard had been at the studio nearly sixteen hours and he was spent. All he wanted was sleep, especially since he had to go in again in the morning. It was nearly two in the morning before he got to bed. He set his alarm clock, snuggled under the covers and fell asleep. an hour later, he was jerked into wakefulness when he heard a high pitched scream beyond his closed door. 

At first, he wondered if he'd dreamed the scream but then his door flew open and his mouth dropped open when Stevie, naked and sweaty, ran into his room, scrambled around his bed and flung herself down into the bed beside him. 

"HELP ME, RICHARD," she screamed as she quickly scrambled under the covers. 

Richard couldn't speak or think. The sight of Stevie's naked body froze his brain and all he could do was gape at her while she lay under the covers and watched him expectantly. 

"Stevie, what's going on," he said when he finally found his voice. 

"Help me, Richard," Stevie said, softer but no less urgent. 

Richard looked out the open door, searching for what was distressing her. He thought at first someone had broken in but as he watched and listened, he didn't detect anything. Then he looked for signs of fire and sniffed the air but he couldn't smell smoke and nothing seemed to be aflame. Giving up, he looked at Stevie. 

"What do you need help for," he said. 

"There's a rat in our room, Richard, go kill it!" 

"Me? What about Lindsey? Where's he?" 

"I don't know. The bedroom, I guess. But go help him kill it," she said, pointing towards their room. 

"With what?" 

"I don't care. A pan, the TV, your bare hands, just kill it!" 

"Stevie?' 

Richard looked over when Lindsey came out of the bedroom. He was nearly naked, except for underwear. His hair was mussed and Richard guessed the two of them had been having sex when the rat made an appearance. Stevie ran out in a panic while Lindsey apparently had time to put on some underwear. Lindsey looked around and Richard waved to him and pointed to his bed when Lindsey looked his way. Lindsey sighed and walked towards Richard's room. 

"Stevie, get the fuck out of Richard's room now," he said when he reached Richard's doorway and looked inside. 

Richard turned on the light and Lindsey sighed again and folded his arms over his chest as Stevie peeked out under the covers. 

"Stevie, get back in our bed," Lindsey said. 

"No. I'm staying in this bed. Its off the floor!" 

"Stevie, it was a tiny brown mouse, not a big, hulking rat!" 

"I don't care, I hate both kinds. You and Richard kill it!" 

"It's gone, Steves, you probably scared it when you screamed like a banshee." 

"Okay, it's still alive though and I don't want it running over my forehead when I sleep." 

Richard couldn't help but chuckle when Lindsey threw up her hands in exasperation. 

"Sorry, man," Lindsey said to Richard. 

"It's okay, I'm just glad it's not an intruder." 

"It is an intruder, Richard! Kill it!" 

The two men shared a bemused look.   
"Wanna help me find the intruder," Lindsey asked Richard. 

"Why not," Richard replied. 

He asked Lindsey to toss him his T-shirt. He put it on and he and Lindsey left the room and walked to Stevie and Lindsey's room. They entered and Lindsey switched on the overhead light. 

"Is there really a mouse," Richard said as they looked around the room. 

"Yes. But it was tiny and it was in the corner," Lindsey said, pointing to the far corner on the left side of the room. "It was minding its own business but it squeaked while we were having sex and Stevie freaked out. I looked but I can't find it now." 

Richard walked over towards the corner, knelt down and examined it. 

"Don't see any Mouseholes," Richard said, shaking his head. 

"I know. I don't know what else to do, short of combing every inch of the house for a hole. I suppose we can get traps or rat poison and lay them out." 

Richard nodded and stood up. 

"I could get some but I'm not sure how late I'll work tomorrow. Stores might be closed by the time I leave." 

"I can get some. I'll find someone to go with and cash a check." 

"What about tonight though?" 

The men turned and saw Stevie standing in the doorway, wrapped in Richard's blanket. 

"Stevie, the stores are closed. We can't do anything. Just come back to sleep. The mouse is gone," Lindsey said. 

Stevie was unsure but finally nodded and stepped into the room. Lindsey looked at Richard. 

"Sorry, man, I'll give you your blanket back after Stevie gets under the covers." 

"No need. I'll get a fresh one from the closet." 

"Richard, I'm sorry," Stevie said, coming towards him while holding the blanket tightly around her. 

"It's okay. I'm just glad it wasn't someone breaking into the house." 

"Sorry I ran naked into your room, I just panicked." Richard chuckled. 

"Well, that certainly woke me up," Richard said while Lindsey snickered. "But at least I can see now why Lindsey likes you so much." 

Lindsey chortled as Stevie blushed deeply. Now that the crisis was over, Richard bid everyone goodnight and chuckling softly to himself, he got a fresh blanket from the bed and headed back to bed.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter Fifteen 

We did find the mouse after we laid out traps. The little guy got it after nibbling at some peanut butter we put on the trigger. Stevie was relieved but thankfully no other mice reared their teeny little heads. We lived on a hill with a large yard so the mouse could have come in from outside but like I said, we had no more problems with rodents in the house. 

The next two stories I want to tell have been told before. Stevie told both stories in interviews but I wanted to give my perspective on them. The first one involves Lindsey and an electric skillet. Lindsey, who really couldn't cook much back then, got it into his head that he needed to cook dinner for us. I think he felt guilty that Stevie did the majority of the cooking while he did nothing except eat it. So I think he tried to please Stevie by surprising her with dinner and even though he had the best of intentions, it backfired horribly. 

Stevie got home first and I got home about an hour later. This was early 1973 after the holidays, as is my second story, but since my topic is bizarre things, I'm including it here rather than later on in my narrative. So I believe these stories took place in January of 1973. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

The first thing Richard noticed while he drove up the hill to the house was Stevie sitting on the porch, smoking a cigarette while her feet rested on the bottom porch step. The second thing he noticed was the front door was standing wide open, even though it was the first week of January. Richard thought it strange that Stevie didn't close the door. There were no mosquitoes and flies around now but still she was letting all the heat out. Stevie waved to him as he pulled into the driveway. She dropped the cigarette to the ground and mashed it into the dirt with her sandal while Richard stopped in the driveway and turned the car off. 

"Hey, Richard," she greeted him when he got out of his car. 

"Hey, Stevie," Richard said, walking over to her. "Why is the door wide open," he added, pointing to it. 

Stevie snorted. 

"Take a look inside and tell me what you see," she said. 

Richard was puzzled but went to the front door while Stevie turned her body to watch him. He looked around but couldn't see anything unusual at first. Then he noticed the smell. The interior smelled like burnt rubber and he recoiled at that. 

"Ugh, what's that odor?" 

"That...is Lindsey's handiwork," Stevie said, standing up. 

"Lindsey? What did he do?" 

"Follow me," Stevie said. 

Richard followed her as she went into the house. As they neared the kitchen, the odor got stronger and Richard coughed as the scent became overpowering. They entered the kitchen and Stevie pointed to the stove. Richard gazed at the stove, not comprehending what he was seeing. On the front burner was a square, metal pan with some kind of black gooey substance under it. The gooey substance completely covered the burner. The two kitchen windows were open all the way but the stench was still strong. Richard walked over to the stove and stared at the burner while Stevie came up beside him. 

"What is this," he asked Stevie, pointing to the burner. 

"That is the remains of the electric skillet my parents got me when I first moved in with Lindsey. Lindsey tried to cook with it. See, the burnt hamburger inside it," she said, pointing to the interior of the pan. 

"Yeah, okay, but what is the black goo under it?" 

"That was the plastic legs on the skillet. Einstein put the skillet directly on the burner and turned it on." 

Richard's eyes bulged. 

"But that's not how you use it," he said to her. "The point of an electric skillet is to cook without a stove." 

"I know that and you know that but Lindsey didn't know that. He told me he never seen one before." 

"Never? I mean, I know he doesn't cook but surely his parents used one before." 

"If they did, he didn't pay attention. And because of that, he ruined my skillet. That's why the windows and door is open. I came home and the entire house was filled with smoke. Its a wonder he didn't burn down the house." 

"Where is he now?" 

"Out back. In the tree, I think. He's embarrassed now and he should be. I never met anyone who didn't know what an electric skillet was." 

She smiled when Richard chuckled softly. 

"yeah. He wanted to surprise me with dinner. He surprised me all right. And the cord and plug," she said, picking it up. "I said to him, didn't you see this? He said yes and he said he thought you used it if you wanted to make the food cook faster." 

Now Richard laughed out loud and Stevie grinned. 

"Unlike you, Lindsey never lived on his own so he never had to learn to cook." 

"Well, I guess we could try to get the gunk off," Richard said, examining the goo. "Might have to get a new burner though." 

"Hi, guys." 

Richard and Stevie turned to see Lindsey standing in the doorway of the back door. Ginny came inside and Richard rubbed her back when she walked up to him, wagging her tail in greeting. 

"I guess you know what happened now," Lindsey said sheepishly to Richard while he closed the back door. 

"Yes. And um...its interesting what you did to the skillet," Richard said, gesturing to it. 

"I swear, I didn't know it was meant to be used off a stove. I thought skillet meant it was a skillet." 

"Except the word electric is in front of the word skillet," Stevie said. 

Lindsey shrugged, not knowing how to answer that. Richard felt for him. He had to do a lot of trial and error when he first learned to live on his own but all the same, he was able to figure out what an electric skillet was. But he kept that to himself and instead set about trying to pry the skillet off the burner while Stevie and Lindsey assisted him.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter Sixteen 

So it took awhile but we finally got most of the melted plastic off the stove. We had to get a new burner though because it was completely covered but like Stevie said, it's a wonder Lindsey didn't burn the house down trying to impress Stevie. He didn't try that again, at least when he was by himself. 

The second incident Stevie talked about involved Keith. First off, Stevie's car broke down and she had to get it fixed. Unlike me, there was no one she could ride with so she turned to Keith. Keith had just gotten a brand new car and she approached him since she knew I could take him to work with me since he lived near Sound City. The restaurant was far from the studio and she didn't want me to go out of my way to take her. Plus, I worked late and she would have to wait for me to get off work before she could go home. So she asked both her parents to lend her money to fix the car, which they did since she needed it for work. Then she asked Keith. I was at work with Keith when he got the call from her. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

Richard sat at the soundboard, sipping a beer. Everyone was on a break because Keith had to take a call. Most of the band they were working with were in the iso booth, drinking beer and snorting cocaine. They'd offered some to Richard and he did one line, just to wake himself up but only one because cocaine tended to make him too jumpy when all he really wanted was to stay awake. He had a slight buzz now but nothing that impeded him or his judgment. 

Keith came back in the room and announced to the band that they'd have to stop around five because he had business. The band concurred and Keith sat back down in his seat. As they began recording again, Keith looked at Richard. 

"Come with me after work," he said to him. 

"Sure," Richard said. "Why?" 

"Stevie's car broke down near work. She had to get it towed and begged her parents to wire money to get it fixed. It might take a few days since the garage is backed up on fixing their cars and she wants to borrow my car in the meantime." 

"Your new car?" 

Keith nodded. 

"Yes. But...it's a stick not an automatic and Stevie's never drove a stick before." 

"And she's going to learn to drive it by tomorrow?" 

Keith shrugged. 

"Seems to think so." 

"And you're gonna let her drive your new car when she doesn't know how to drive it," Richard said, glancing at him while he worked the soundboard. 

"Well. I'm curious to see how she fares with it," Keith said. "I asked her if she wanted me to teach her and she said no, she'd figure it out." 

Richard paused with his fingers on a dial and looked at his friend. 

"She's gonna teach herself?" 

Keith chuckled and shrugged. 

"She's stubborn, I suppose." 

"That she is," Richard said, eager to see Stevie try to drive a stick by herself. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

So after work, I went and picked up Stevie while Keith went home. I'd phoned ahead before leaving the studio to let her know I was coming. Unfortunately, I got the asshole supervisor that Lindsey talked to that day and he was rude and arrogant to me, even though I tried to explain nicely why I was calling Stevie. I did talk to her but I wondered if Stevie got another lecture again after I hung up. 

When I pulled into the restaurant parking lot, Stevie was waiting for me by the entrance. She got in and thanked me, promising to pay me back for the gas I used. 

"Stevie, are you sure you will be able to drive Keith's car," Richard asked while he drove back to Keith's house.   
"I have to, Rich. I don't have a choice. I need a car and I don't know anyone who I could ride with that works the same hours I do." 

"Can I at least tell you how to work the pedals since Keith said you didn't want any help?" 

Stevie nodded and as he drove, Richard gave her the basics of driving a stick shift. He was glad Stevie was at least listening to instruction rather than figuring it out on her own. He knew Stevie was fiercely independent and he admired that but at the same time, it was okay to act for help when you needed it. 

When they got to Keith's house, Keith's new gold colored Dodge was in the driveway. Richard pulled up beside it and Keith came outside with Walter Egan, John Stewart and a couple of his neighbors. All of them had beers in their hands and Richard figured they were there to watch Stevie's attempt to drive the car. Keith hugged Stevie when they got out and he handed Stevie the car keys. 

"Here you go," Keith said to her. "Sure you don't want any help?" 

"Richard told me what to do. I think I can manage," Stevie said. 

"Okay," Keith said. "Go for it then." 

Stevie unlocked the car door while Keith handed Richard an opened beer. The men all stood by the driveway, drinking their beers while they watched Stevie. Stevie started  the car, tried to move it and she cursed when it immediately died on her. The men chuckled softly while Stevie started the car up again. This time, the car moved a few inches before dying again. 

"Guys wanna stay for dinner," Keith said to his friends. "We might be here awhile." 

After a few attempts, Stevie managed to get the car back down the driveway while the men watched with interest. She backed out onto the street and the car died again. The men snickered as they heard muffled curses from inside the car. 

"You're right, this might take awhile," Richard said to Keith. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

After a half hour, Stevie mastered the car enough to drive it, impressing the spectators. Stevie drove back up the driveway and parked it as the men applauded. 

"I'm very impressed, Stevie," Keith said as she got out. "Just be careful driving it" 

Stevie nodded. They were going to leave but not before Keith gave them a great deal of food. She and Richard thanked them and after the food was put in the car, Richard followed Stevie home in his car. He was impressed that Stevie made it home, only stalling once. They made it back safely and Richard went to work the next day, confident that Stevie would be able to drive the car with no problem. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

And with that, we continued to go to work every morning, things were going good until three days after Stevie got the car. I was at work that day and in the middle of a session, the receptionist came in and told Keith he had an urgent phone call. Keith told everyone to take a break before he went outside. When he came back inside, he was in shock. I was chatting with the bassist of the band, a young guy named Tom, sharing a joint with me when Keith walked up to me. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

"Stevie just called," he said to Ricard. 

"Is she okay," Richard said, fearing the worst. 

"She's fine but the car is totaled." 

Richard sucked in his breath, his worst fears going through his mind. He kicked himself, knowing he should have worked out a way to take her himself. 

"Is she in a hospital," Richard said. 

"No, she's fine. She wasn't in the car," Keith said. 

"But the car is totaled?" 

Keith nodded and Richard and Tom shared a look. 

"What happened then," Richard asked. 

"Stevie was going up the hill to your house and she suddenly needed to go to the bathroom. She parked the car on the hill, instead of parking it in the driveway. She put the parking break on but didn't put the car in park and the car rolled backward down the hill, went off the side and ended up in someone's bedroom at the bottom of the hill." 

"Dude," Tom said while Richard's mouth fell open. "That's messed up." 

"Was anyone killed in the house," Richard said. 

Keith shook his head. 

"No one was home, thank God. But the car is standing straight up in the guy's house. Stevie didn't even knew it happened until the guy came to the door, asking if it was her car." 

"She didn't go back out," Richard said. 

Keith shrugged. 

"She thought the car was in park and she wanted to rest before she parked it. You guys are the only ones up there." 

"And she didn't hear the crash," Tom said. 

"Guess not. She might have been in the bathroom at the time." 

"What about Lindsey," Richard said. 

"Stevie said he was asleep in their bedroom," Keith said. "But I was wondering if you can take me out there to look at the car and give the owner of the house my insurance information?" 

"Of course," Richard said, wanting to see this for himself. 

"Can I come," Tom said. 

Richard nodded. Keith went to tell the rest of the band to go home early. Tom told his band mates he was going with Keith and Richard before he followed them outside to Richard's car. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

"Jesus," Richard said when they finally saw the car. 

Like Keith said, the car was standing straight up in some guy's house, the back end sticking up out of the roof. It was so surreal that Richard couldn't believe what he was seeing. Keith told them to let him out so he could talk to the owner and go and get Stevie and bring her down. Richard let him out and he and Tom drove up the hill. Lindsey answered the front door, a wry grin on his face. 

"I suppose you saw the car," he said to Richard. 

"Um...just slightly," Richard said. "This is Tom," he added, gesturing to the young man behind him."He's a part of the band we're working with right now." 

Lindsey looked at the man. He had sandy blonde hair that came down to his shoulders and a bit of stubble on his chin. He had a rough, chiseled face and light green eyes. He shook hands with Lindsey before Lindsey let them inside. Stevie was sitting on the sofa, embarrassment etched on her face as Richard introduced Tom to her. Stevie stood up and shook hands with him before looking at Richard. 

"Keith is going to kill me, right," she said. 

"Actually, he's pretty calm. I think he's glad you weren't in the car when it went over. But he's at the guys house and wanted us to bring you down so you can talk to him too." 

Stevie sighed and nodded. 

"Let me get my coat," she said. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

Twenty minutes later, everyone was sitting in the living room of the home owner. David Ferris, a retiree with short, graying hair and a stern, lined face was polite but was clearly pissed off and Richard could tell he thought of all of them as long haired hippie drug addicts and alcoholics as he sat in his recliner and listened. Stevie had to explain to the guy that she'd only learned to drive a stick a few days before and she'd only forgotten to put the car in park. Richard noticed the man was giving her a condescending look and his hackles raised, guessing the man was thinking not only that she was can addict but a brainless airhead too. 

He had also contacted the police while they were there. Richard hoped this meant he wasn't going to try to have them arrested. But when the police arrived, they were cordial and courteous, much to Richard's relief. Even though the man tried to give the impression they were a bunch of wild, reckless, irresponsible kids, the police spoke to both Stevie and Keith and Richard could tell they were convinced this was an accident and not a malicious act. They could also see that he and everyone else were sober and sane. Much to David's chagrin, the police took their side and to Richard's relief didn't arrest them.

Keith did give David his insurance information along with a promise that he would pay for removal of his car. Not having anything else to do, the police left. David was still pissed off but there was nothing else he could do either. He did lecture Stevie, however, like she was a little kid, telling her to learn how to drive properly before she got behind the wheel. Stevie listened quietly but Richard could tell she wanted to deck him. Finally, he was done, everybody left the house and walked back to Richard's car while David stood in his front door and glared at them.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter Seventeen 

Okay. My two teenage sons have just discovered what I'm doing. They've been reading through my manuscript and think its boring and lame, just like they think I was boring and lame when I was young, and probably think I am still boring and lame, at least in their teenage worldview.

They seem to think the 70s was boring and we lived in caves in those days and sat around by the campfire at night with no Nintendo Wii or smartphone or cable to entertain us. Apparently, they're under the impression we old farts didn't have much to do back in the Middle Ages except pick our butts and our noses and spit on the ground. That or make shadow puppets on the walls for fun, when we weren't walking around saying "Duh!" and being clueless and lame and old-fashioned. They think I shouldn't be wasting my time with memoirs and instead I should write fantasy stories and sex scenes with Stevie because that's cooler to their horny little minds. 

Mind you, my kids like Game of Thrones, vampires and supernatural stuff, not Fleetwood Mac, Eagles or Bee Gees. They keep pestering me to write something they'd like, so to pacify them so they'll leave me alone, I will deviate from my memoir to write something for them. So, here goes... 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

Once upon a time there was a land called Forgia that was ruled over by a wise king called Elvendragonstone. King Elvendragonstone ruled benevolently but he was lonely. So he called his bravest knight, a man called Richard to find a princess for him. Richard was part vampire and had cool vampire powers but he could go out in the daytime because he was only half vampire so he saddled up his horse, Horse, and rode out to find a woman for his king.

Now in this kingdom lived a peasant woman named Stevie who had a fabulous bosom that was talked about all over the kingdom. This women also had an enchanting voice that was talked about by the people who weren't fixated on her boobs. But despite her voice and her breasts, Stevie was still a simple peasant woman. Each morning, she rose at the crack of dawn and went out to milk her cows and feed her chickens and sing a song of woe that she didn't have a man who loved her, her voice and her rack. 

So Stevie was out singing when Richard was riding by. Richard heard her song of woe with his extra super vampire hearing and he stopped Horse and listened. Enchanted by the singing, he flew up off the horse and flew over to her. Stevie saw him flying over to her and gasped. 

"Who are you," she said, her bosom heaving with fear. 

"I am Richard, part vampire, who is out looking for nooky for the king. You're not a princess but you have a fabulous body, voice and boobies so you'll do. But first I shall have you for my own." 

"No. I am a simple maiden. I have no nooky to offer you!" 

"Ha ha, we'll see about that!" 

Richard ran to her, ripped off her clothes and was going to ravish her within an inch of her life when suddenly, a man appeared. He was tall and pale with a curly black afro and blue eyes. 

"Unhand that woman!," he said. 

"Who are you," asked Richard. "I am the Vampire Lord Lindsey and I claim that maiden for me!" 

"No, I saw her first. I claim her for me. Besides, it's daytime. You should be burned alive since you are all vampire!" 

"I'm a wizard as well as a vampire. I have magic sun blocking powers so I have no fear of the sun. Now step away from the woman!" 

"Never!" 

And so the two men shape shifted into werewolves and battled ferociously while Stevie lay on the ground, naked and voluptuous and heaving. They fought and bit and tore at each other with their claws and blood and skin flew everywhere and made a mess like in Game of Thrones. Stevie was scared but also turned on by the big, hairy muscular wolves fighting for her nooky. Then the men stopped fighting. 

"This is silly, we shouldn't be fighting," Lindsey said. 

"Yes. There is enough woman to go around," Richard said. 

So both men ravished Stevie mercilessly and they took her to a cave and kept her there forever as their love slave and the king died without a wife to ravish because he wasn't a cool vampire with shape shifting powers. 

THE END. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

Okay, my sons just read this story of mine and said it was boring and dumb. Then they left, probably to go play Metal Gear 4000 or something like that. Call of War, Grand Theft Auto, Kill Everything in Sight, these are the games they like. 

I believe I said earlier I'm an engineer, not a writer. They want a good story, perhaps they could write it themselves instead of playing Slaughter Those Zombie Bitches or some mindless video game like that. 

By the way, I told them one time about playing Pong when it first came out and after I described the game, they looked at me as if I was retarded for enjoying a game that was really just two bars and a dot. What I didn't tell them was me, Ken and the band used to bet on who would win when we played it. Made it much more interesting. But they still wouldn't care even if I told them that because Pong doesn't have really cool graphics and buckets of blood flying everywhere so I would be retarded for liking it when I should have gotten in my time machine and gone to a time when they had Xbox and civilization. 

They also hated I didn't go into smutty detail during the ravishing scenes of my little epic. Sorry kids, you aren't adults so you don't get detailed porn, at least not from me.

Besides, who knows if Stevie will ever see this and I'm not about to risk her reading some porny three way smut between her, vampire Lindsey and half vampire me. 

But anyhow, back to the real story I'm telling here. I believe I will go back to Thanksgiving and our time spent at Keith's house and take it from there.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter Eighteen 

So my kids are gone but I'm sure they'll eventually tell my wife, Kong, and she'll be next to peruse my writing. Ah well, occupational hazard when you live with people and write. Wonder if Ken had to put up with Diane and Colbie looking over his shoulder all the time while he wrote his Rumours book. 

Anyway, back to the task at hand. The Monday before Thanksgiving, we packed some bags and we went with Ginny to Keith's house to begin our week of housesitting. Keith's house put ours to shame and it showed me what a successful producer could aspire to. Looking at his beautiful mansion, I dreamed of a mansion of my own someday. It was nice of Keith to allow us to stay there for a week and pretend that we were rich. We checked out the kitchen and found it crammed full of food, not to mention a twenty pound turkey. All of us were ecstatic. We chose two of the guest bedrooms upstairs and quickly made ourselves at home.

During that week, we relaxed and hung out, watched TV and goofed off. We decided to have our dinner the night after Thanksgiving when we all got back from our family's houses. Besides the stuff for Thanksgiving, there was other food too and we gorged ourselves. Keith was also kind enough to leave food for Ginny so she also ate very well that week. 

By Thanksgiving morning, we were well rested and ready for the day. Our parents were coming to pick us up so we didn't have to drive. I was hoping my mom and dad arrived last so I could meet my friend's parents. 

I came downstairs bright and early. Lindsey was up, strumming his guitar idly while sitting on the sofa and watching the Macy's parade on television. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

"Mornin' buddy," Richard said as he came into the living room. 

"Mornin'. Happy turkey day," Lindsey said, peering over his shoulder at him. 

"Same to you. Where is the female member of our group?" 

"In bed, missing the parade. Snoopy's on, look," Lindsey said, pointing to the Snoopy balloon going down the street on the television. 

Richard chuckled. 

"Haven't really watched this in years," he said. 

"Really? I watch it every year. At least for the floats and balloons. Marching bands are a bore." 

"Yeah. They play the same boring songs every year," Richard said, nodding. 

"Hey, wanna make a quick ten dollars?" 

"Doing what," Richard asked. 

"Performing a practical joke on Stevie with me. So she'll wake up and join us." 

"Okay, what do I have to do?"

Lindsey grinned and beckoned to him. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

Richard and Lindsey peeked into the guest room that Stevie and Lindsey were sharing. Stevie was on her side in a fetal position, fast asleep. Ginny was at the foot of the bed, slumbering by her feet. She heard the men approach and raised her head, wagging her tail. Richard smiled at the dog and put his finger to his lips, pretending to shush her. Richard glanced back at Lindsey as he walked up beside Richard. Richard gave him a quizzical look and Lindsey nodded. Richard bent over and gently kissed Stevie's cheek. 

"Stevie," Lindsey said as Richard licked her cheek. 

Stevie frowned in her sleep and Richard paused to watch her. 

"Muh," Stevie mumbled in her sleep. 

Richard glanced at Lindsey and Lindsey nodded. Richard kissed her cheek again and Stevie moaned, half asleep. 

"You like that, babe. You like it when I kiss you awake, don't ya," Lindsey said as Richard paused again. 

"Mmm, yes, I do," Stevie murmured, her eyes still closed. 

"Well, keep your eyes closed, baby, and just enjoy my morning wake up for a moment," Lindsey said. 

"Mmm, okay," Stevie murmured. 

Richard had to fight to keep from laughing as Lindsey silently urged his friend on. Richard hesitated for a moment before he kissed Stevie firmly on the lips. To his surprise, Stevie immediately opened her mouth to accept his tongue. Richard put his tongue inside hers and snogged her while Lindsey put his hand over his mouth to keep from laughing. Richard felt euphoric. Stevie was a great kisser and he thought back to their first meeting when he'd taken one look at her and wanted her. He broke off the snog, expecting to see Stevie's eyes open but to his relief, they were still closed. A contented smile was on her face and Richard thought she looked beautiful that way. 

"Did you like that, baby," Lindsey said as Richard watched her face. 

"Mmm, yes, baby," Stevie murmured. "Fuck me please." 

Lindsey once again clamped his hand over his mouth while Richard stared down at Stevie in shock. Lindsey grinned and quickly whispered an idea in Richard's ear. 

"Come on, baby, fuck me," Stevie murmured again. 

"All right, if you insist!" 

Stevie's eyes flew open when she heard Richard's voice above her. Her eyes bulged as she saw Richard bent over her with Lindsey standing beside him. 

"Well, lay on your back if you want me to fuck you," Richard said, wagging his eyebrows. 

"You assholes," Stevie yelled as the men sprinted out of the room laughing. "That better not have been your tongue in my mouth, Richard, or, so help me God, I'm gonna rip it out by the roots!" 

Stevie sat up in bed, growling deep in her throat as Ginny walked up and stared at her, curiously. Stevie looked at her dog. 

"Why didn't you bite Richard's butt for me," she asked, rubbing her dog's head. 

By the time she got downstairs, the two men were sitting side by side on the sofa watching the parade. Their backs were to her as she walked over to the back of the couch. She stopped and looked down at Richard's head. 

"Richard Dashut," Stevie growled at him. 

Richard turned his head and Stevie saw that he had taken two Band-Aids and put them over his mouth in an X. 

"Hmm?," Richard hummed at her. 

"What's that for, to keep your tongue out of my mouth," Stevie asked, pointing to the Band-Aids. 

Richard hummed something out of his nose that she couldn't make out. She jerked the Band-Aids off his lips while Lindsey snickered. 

"Okay, speak like a normal person now," Stevie said to Richard. 

"I said, I have the Band-Aids over my mouth to stop you from ripping out my tongue." 

Stevie stared at him while Richard gave her an innocent look. Then despite herself, she giggled and Richard grinned at that. 

"You two cannot be left alone for one minute," she said while Lindsey snickered. "Lindsey put you up to this?" 

"Yes and I made ten dollars for doing it." 

"Damn you, Lindsey," Stevie yelled, trying to hit his head as Lindsey ran away. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

Five minutes later, Lindsey came back into the room. Stevie was now in his spot beside Richard watching the parade with him. As Lindsey came up behind Stevie, Stevie sensed he was there and turned her head to look at him. 

"I knew that wasn't you kissing me," she said. "because Richard is a far better kisser than you." 

Richard cleared his throat loudly and hopped up, pretending to escape Lindsey's wrath. 

"Gee. Suddenly, I feel like breakfast. Bye now " he said, running out of the room while his friends laughed. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

Yeah, that was a hoot, especially seeing Stevie's reaction. Too bad she didn't get her morning fuck like she was hoping but I don't think Lindsey was prepared to go that far with his joke. 

Still, after kissing her, I can see why Lindsey not only loved to kiss her but also why no other girlfriend of his was up to snuff. Not even Kristen can compete, I think. I haven't seen Lindsey in over twenty years but I follow the fan speculation and I've heard Lindsey's songs off his recent solo albums, the ones that don't seem to be mentioning his wife. And let us not forget the EP Fleetwood Mac put out a few years ago with songs like Miss Fantasy where Lindsey seems to be dreaming and thinking about someone not named Kristen. 

I often wonder what his wife's reaction to the songs are. Especially Without You since that's also on the EP and was written while Kristen was probably still in diapers. I wasn't around for Kristen, so I can only speculate on that relationship, but I was around for Carol Anne, Cheri and Anne and Lindsey was thinking about Stevie when he was with them as well as seeing her on the sly, so I'm of the opinion that marriage probably didn't stop him from wanting Stevie since he never stopped wanting her the other times he was spoken for. I was there before any of those women and I saw the connection and the chemistry between my friends and it goes far deeper than just physical attraction or mutual affection. They have a bond that nothing can break, not even me and my little old tongue. I wouldn't be surprised if the lovebirds ended up back together, although that needs to happen sooner rather than later, given their ages. 

But we ended up watching the rest of the parade and about an hour after it, Lindsey's parents came to pick him up. This marks the only time that I met Morris Buckingham before his tragic death two and a half months later. We spoke briefly that day and he seemed like a nice man. I'd wished I'd gotten to know him better. Lindsey was devastated by his death as he was when his brother, Greg, passed years later. I was also around when that happened, living with Lindsey at the time in his house, and I felt the loss of his family members as deeply as Lindsey did. Death is never an easy thing to bear, even now when I'm old enough to see my friends and family dying more and more these days. I coproduced Out Of The Cradle with Lindsey while I lived with him and that beautiful Street of Dreams song where Lindsey mentioned going to his father's grave and talking to him is something I witnessed him doing personally and now that my father has passed on, I find myself doing the same thing. Makes me wonder if my kids will do the same when I pass on. 

But anyway, I was fortunate enough to be the last one to be picked up so I met Jess and Barbra Nicks too as well as Lindsey's mom, Ruthita. All very nice, loving people and I'm sad to say they have all gone on to the hereafter now. May they rest in peace. Finally, my parents picked me up and drove me to their house where we had a wonderful turkey dinner. My mom was a fabulous cook and I miss her food, now that she's passed on too. Kong is a wonderful cook but I still think my mom has her beat in some areas. I also spent the night with them in my old room, which had been turned into a guest bedroom. Strange that my old room was not my own anymore but it still felt comforting being back home, if only for a night. Yet another thing I miss in my old age. 

I called Ken and Keith also while I was at home. Both of them were doing fine and having fun, although Ken was jealous that Keith had given us a free Thanksgiving dinner since Wally didn't do that for him. I would have called more friends to wish them happy holidays but mom didn't want me tying up the phone so I waited to do that when we got back to Keith's house. 

The day was joyful with family members gathered around the table in celebration. My mom cooked her ass off and her and my aunts ensured we all had full bellies by the time it was over. 

When I came back to Keith's house on Thanksgiving night, I came bearing tons of leftovers. So I didn't have to do anything except warm the stuff up. Keith did have a Microwave, although it was huge and clunky by today's standards, but it got the job done. I fixed a plate with turkey, mashed potatoes, corn and green beans and sat down in the living room to eat it. I called Ken up and learned he was back home too. Not wanting to be alone after living with people for several months, I invited him over for the night. Ken came bearing some leftovers of his own and we sat and watched A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving while we shared our meals. 

"Say, isn't your dog a beagle too," I said to Ken while we watched Snoopy and Woodstock try to get lawn chairs out of an overflowing garage. 

"Yes. He is," Ken said, nodding. 

"Why didn't you name him Snoopy then," I teased him. 

"Because probably most of the beagles in the world are named Snoopy," Ken said. 

"Why Scooter then?" 

Ken shrugged. "Sounded like a dog name and it seemed to fit him. What about you? You never mentioned any pets." 

"I sorta have one. My friends have a dog named Ginny." 

"Jenny with a J?" 

"No, with a G as in Gin." 

"They named the dog after liquor? I can see where their interests lie," Ken said. 

"Could be worse. Could have named her Jack Daniels or Hennessey." 

Ken chuckled. 

"Or Mad Dog 20/20," he said. 

"Hey, that's a good one. I need to get a chihuahua and name it that as a joke. Smear shaving cream on its face so it looks like it's foaming at the mouth." 

Ken laughed and Richard chuckled with him. 

"Have you gotten your promotion yet," Richard asked Ken when they stopped laughing. 

"Yes, actually. Although I've been thinking about taking some college courses to help me out." 

"Where at?" 

"Um...kinda leaning towards Santa Clara, they supposedly are a good college." 

"Should go back and finish your law degree." 

Ken snorted. 

"No thanks, that's not happenin'," he said. "Want to be an engineer now." 

"Really? Where are you gonna park the choo choo then?" 

He sniggered as Ken eyed him. 

"Up your ass, that's where I'll park it, Dashut." 

"Hey, there are three kinds of engineers in the world. Recording ones, rocket scientist ones and choo choo ones." 

"In that case, I'll pick rocket scientist one and make a bomb or something." 

"A bomb for me? How sweet, most people only get me a sweater." 

The men giggled and finished watching the cartoon while they ate their meals.


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter Nineteen 

We did have a great time that year. Unfortunately Ken didn't stay the night so I spent Thanksgiving night in a big empty creepy house. I finally went and slept down on the sofa with the radio on so I could have some noise to comfort me. When I lived alone, I got used to silence but after living with Stevie and Lindsey, it became a comfort having them and Ginny there and it was odd to suddenly be without that. So I was glad when they returned. 

We spent the day fixing our dinner. Even Lindsey helped, although under Stevie's watchful eye. After several hours, we had a feast. We ate till we were stuffed and still had plenty for leftovers. More importantly, we had each other and our friendship. I always look back on that first Thanksgiving with fond memories, even now forty five years on. It was one of the best times in my life, before the heartache and drugs and constant fights, when we all young and a bit innocent. 

I want to skip again a bit to the morning of Lindsey's fathers death. Ever since I mentioned it, the memory has been on my mind and it's not going away until I get it out. It isn't pleasant but like I said, it wasn't all roses back then. 

The morning it happened was Valentines Day of 1973. Which makes the loss even more tragic. Lindsey was never the same on that day and I know he dreaded it each year. Stevie has told the story in interviews but for those who don't know, Morris had a massive heart attack and died in his car while waiting in a long line at the gas station. The reason for the long lines was there was a gas shortage due to an Arab oil embargo. Owning a car, I also had to put up with those lines and it was a bitch. I was so relieved when the embargo lifted and it went back to normal. 

I was at work when Stevie got the phone call from Ruthita. As she's said before, she answered the phone and then had to hand the day hone to Lindsey, knowing what his mom was going to tell him. A truly heartbreaking moment for them. 

As for me, I actually had left earlier than usual because of the gas lines. I sat in a line for nearly a half hour to get gas and then I went to work. The day before I had stopped off at the drugstore and gotten some gifts for my friends. A little stuffed Snoopy y holding a Valentine heart for Stevie and a bag of Hershey's chocolate bars for Lindsey. I'd hidden both items in my room, ready for the moment I could present them. 

At the studio, we were currently on a boring assignment. Recording the call letters of radio stations across the country. For example...THIS IS WZPL, 99.5 INDIANAPOLIS, YOUR HOME FOR THE GREATEST HITS. That sort of thing. We were hired to do this for the entire country so there were about ninety two billion of them to get through. I felt like strangling myself with a shoelace before it was over. I'm so glad I don't do shit like that anymore, ugh. Even thinking about it makes me want to puke. 

Anyway, we were about halfway through the assignment and about halfway through my sanity when the receptionist came to tell us there was a call for me. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

Richard was surprised. 

"Me, the call is for me," he asked, pointing to himself. 

"Yes, some woman named Stevie." 

"Oh no, her car gave out again," Richard said to Keith. 

"Don't look at me, man. I'm all out of cars to give to her," Keith said, holding up his hands. 

Richard chuckled, patted him on the shoulder and walked out of the studio. He followed the receptionist up to the front and picked up the phone lying on the desk near the front doors. Richard put the receiver to his ear and he became alarmed when he heard Stevie sobbing. 

"Stevie, what's wrong," he said while the receptionist sat behind the desk and watched him quietly. 

As Stevie explained the situation, Richard paled and he gripped the desk to keep himself steady. 

"We're going to Lindsey's parents house. Do you want to come? Can you come?" 

Richard swallowed hard. 

"Hold on, let me go ask Keith," he said. 

He laid the receiver down, his heart in his throat. He told the receptionist he'd be back before running down to studio A. He explained the situation to Keith, who nodded in understanding. 

"Go ahead. Your friends want you there, go and support them," he said to Richard. "And send them my condolences." 

Richard thanked him profusely before running back to the phone. Stevie breathed a sigh of relief when Richard told her he was allowed to leave. 

"I'm sorry, Richard, but Lindsey's a mess and I wanted some help comforting and supporting him," Stevie said, sniffing. "Plus, we'll probably be at Ruthita's house till the day of the funeral." 

"It's okay. I don't want to be alone in the house anyway," Richard said 

He grabbed a pen and paper from the desk, quickly jotted down directions to Lindsey's parents house and told her what Keith had said before hanging up. He then ran out the front door before the receptionist could ask him to explain. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

He went home long enough to pack a quick bag and grab a can of Coke and a couple of snacks for the drive up to Atherton. It was a couple of hours drive but it felt like an eternity to Richard. His heart hurt for Lindsey and he knew this wasn't going to be easy to get through. By the time he got to the house, the driveway and curb beside the house was packed with cars. Richard parked about half a block down from the house, got out and walked up to the front door. 

Stevie was waiting for him on the porch and she ran and embraced him when he neared her, sobbing into his shoulder while Richard held her and rubbed her back. 

"How is he?," Richard asked gently while he held her. 

Stevie swallowed hard. 

"He's calmed down quite a bit but he's still beside himself. He's inside with his mom and brothers. oh God, Richard, I had to hand the phone to him and watch his expression." 

Richard swallowed the lump in his throat and nodded. 

"Rich?" 

Richard looked over at the screen door leading out to the porch and saw Lindsey standing behind it, watching him. Richard let go of Stevie and went to embrace his friend as he stepped outside. Lindsey held him and Richard's eyes misted when he heard him sob loudly. 

"Thanks for coming, man," Lindsey said after stepping back from him. 

"What are friends for?" 

Lindsey nodded and Stevie embraced him, Richard watching with silent anguish as tears ran down Lindsey's cheeks while Stevie held him tight. Then Stevie pulled Richard to them and they embraced one another in a silent three way hug, Richard trying to give his strength to his friends as his heart broke anew. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

So that was the situation. I went inside and met Lindsey's family and gave my condolences to Ruthita who was glad I was there to support her son. The next few days were a nightmare. Stevie and I accompanied Lindsey and his family to the funeral home to make the arrangements, then there was the viewing and finally the funeral and graveside service. My memories are a bit of a blur during those days. We were all numb but I remember clearly how lost Lindsey looked and how he stayed near me and Stevie while we did our best to comfort and support him. We all became each other's strength and it brought us all closer together than ever before. Lindsey recovered but he changed a bit that day and there was a lingering melancholy that stayed with his psyche after that. 

By the time we got back home, we were all mentally, emotionally and physically exhausted. I went to my room and laid down and that's when I remember the Valentine gifts. I wasn't sure how to give them to my friends though considering the holiday now carried a tragic aura for them. I lay there, staring at the ceiling and lost in my thoughts until I felt someone sit on my bed. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

Richard looked up and saw Stevie sitting at the foot of the bed, watching him with a sad smile on her face 

"Thank you for coming with us," she said. 

"Of course," Richard said gently. 

Stevie reached out her hand and Richard took it and squeezed it. 

"Crappy way to celebrate a holiday," Stevie joked, her eyes misting up. 

"Yeah, I got you guys some gifts but I don't think I can give them to you now." 

"No, please, let us have the gifts. Let's have one good thing come out of this holiday." 

Richard smiled and nodded. He let go of Stevie's hand and sat up while Stevie called for Lindsey to come to Richard's room. Richard reached into the drawer of his bedside table and pulled out the gifts while Lindsey came into the room. 

"Happy Valentine's Day," he said, trying not to choke on the words as he handed the Snoopy to Stevie and the bag of chocolate to Lindsey. 

Richard's heart soared when his friends smiled for the first time in a couple of days. 

"Richard, thank you. He's so cute," Stevie said, hugging the stuffed animal close to her body. 

"Yeah, thanks, I can definitely use a bunch of chocolate right now," Lindsey said. 

Richard smiled when his friends encircled him and the three of them shared another quiet group hug.


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter Twenty 

Oh shit. 

Kong came in here and for a moment, I thought she was in here to inspect my work. But no, Ken is coming to dinner with Diane and Colbie, which is fine, I don't mind that. What I do mind is the kids apparently did tell my wife about my memoir and she told Ken over the phone and now Mister Author wants to read it, according to my wife, for two reasons... 

1) Read about my time with Lindsey and Stevie and find out what really happened when I lived with them because he's curious and I've never told him everything because apparently I'm a tight lipped bastard who never shared everything with him. 

and 

2) He wants to see if I'm badmouthing him and telling lies about him so he can sue me for libel and get his hands on my vast fortune like he's always planned. 

Yeah. Because I've been secretly hiding millions from Ken Caillat all these years. That's why I live such a lavish, out of control lifestyle and he doesn't. 

Shit. So the little nonfiction auteur wants to read what I have, eh? Okay, I'll give him something to read. Thousand pardons to my readers, I was going to write something serious this chapter but I need to pause so I can punk my nosy friend. So here goes... 

THE TALE OF KEGGER KEN AND THE CHEESEBURGER 

Once upon a time there was a man named Ken Caillat who loved the sauce so much that everyone called him Kegger Ken. One day during the making of Rumours, Ken was left alone in the studio with only a large keg of beer for company. So Ken drank it all and became totally hammered. Then he smoked a blunt as long as a man and got stoned on top of being hammered. After that big spliff, he was powerful hungry and looked around for something to eat. 

Just then, the door opened and Lindsey walked in with Scooter. Lindsey was also stoned and sloshed and he lay down on the studio couch with a major buzz. Meanwhile, Scooter wandered over to his master, looking for some affection. Ken, who couldn't see straight anymore, took one look at his dog, thought he was food, screamed out "Cheeseburger!" and seized him and began to eat him alive. The dog howled in protest as Ken chomped into his side. And then poor Scooter died of shock. Ken took no notice. He just kept on eating him and enjoying his yummy cheeseburger. 

Meanwhile, Lindsey came to enough to notice that Ken seemed to be eating something. Ken's back was to him as he sat up at the mixing board but he was definitely eating something and Lindsey's pot addled brain decided to move Lindsey's pot addled body over so he could get some food. 

But when he got to the back of Ken's chair, he looked over Ken's shoulder, saw the remains of what he was eating and ran out of the room, his face several shades of green. Ken took no notice, he just kept eating and eating until only a doggy skeleton remained. Then he threw the skeleton away and left the studio, leaving the gory parts on the floor for the janitor. 

Overnight, Ken sobered up with no memory of what he did. 

The next morning, Richard was by himself in the studio, preparing for another day of work when Ken entered the room, puzzled. 

"Richard," Ken said to Richard. "Have you seen Scooter?" 

"Not since yesterday. Why?" 

"He's missing. I thought he went home with me last night but when I looked for him in the house this morning, he wasn't there." 

"No, I haven't seen him since yesterday," Richard said, shrugging. 

Just then, Lindsey entered the room. 

"Lindsey, have you seen Scooter," Ken said to him. 

Ken frowned when Lindsey got an odd look, said he hadn't seen him and ran out of the room. Ken looked at Richard. 

"What got into him?" 

"Damned if I know," Richard said, shrugging. 

Ken never did find out what happened to his dog. And Lindsey never told him. 

THE END. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

Hi, this is Ken Caillat. I'm here with Richard and I just shoved his chair out of the way so I can write this on his computer and leave it for his readers. Richard showed me this little story about me and the cheeseburger and he better be glad I've decided to spare his life and not beat the shit out of him for writing a story where I eat my dog. I came to give the man advice on his writing and I find this travesty. That's gratitude for you. 

Hi. This is Richard again. I don't need your advice, Caillat, I've managed well enough without you so far. Geez, man writes one book and he thinks he's William Shakespeare now. 

My book sold well, thank you very much. 

Yeah, all those Fleetwood Mac fans bought it and no one else. You used studio notes, Caillat, so you could get things right, I'm writing this thing from memory. 

From memory, eh? I don't recall you being a half vampire who ravished Stevie the peasant along with Lindsey the Vampire Lord. When that happen? During the recording of Mirage? Wait, it happened during Tango when I was off hobnobbing with Michael Jackson. That's why I don't remember it. 

Give me those. You don't need to be nosing around in my printouts. 

Why? Is there something in here about you tying Stevie facedown and naked to the mixing board and beating her with whips and chains while you got off on it? 

No, I wrote that part about you. 

Yeah. Keep writing, Richard. I'll watch. 

You'll watch nothing! When you wrote your magnum opus, I wasn't on your ass, breathing down your neck while you typed shit about me. Go away! 

No, I can help and I'm going to help. So just pretend I'm not here and work as usual. 

Yeah, if only that had worked all the times we were at the mixing board together. Alright, fine, I see I'm not going to get rid of you so I'll continue on with the back seat driver watching.


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter Twenty One 

Okay, so here I am with the peeping tom sitting beside me and now I can't think of what to write next because I'm being watched. 

Write about us during Rumours. 

Um...Ken, I'm barely into 1973 at the moment. 

Yeah and you said at one point in your writings, you might jump around a bit. 

When I said that, I meant jump around in the same year. Not take a four year leap and back and confuse everyone. 

Scoot. 

What? 

Scoot over, Richard, I'll write a memory. 

Oh, so you're gonna hijack my book now? What about your next book about the Tusk era? Shouldn't you be working on that? 

Later. Now scoot! 

Ugh. Okay, here's Ken with some memory of his. 

Thank you, I'd knew you'd see reason, Richard. Now. I'm Ken Caillat, the older and wiser friend of Richard. I see from my friend's manuscript that he's writing about his time living with Lindsey and Stevie. I obviously was not living with them. I knew of them but I didn't know their names because a certain someone neglected to tell me and then I went and made a fool of myself during the King Biscuit Flower Hour by calling Stevie, Lindsey. 

I said I was sorry, Ken. I honestly thought I told you their names. 

Yeah, I know. But let's move beyond that to 1976. Yes, I know Richard was up to 1973 in his story but I wasn't in Stevie and Lindsey's lives then, so write what you know, as they say. Forgive the three year jump please. This was covered in my book, which you should buy by the way, but I'll cover it here again because Rich was there too. I will tell the story of my cocaine practical joke on the band and I will allow Richard to fill in his dialogue because he remembers what he said better than me. 

You mean you'll let me work on my own book instead of sitting back and watch you write it for me? How big of you, Caillat, to let me do that and quit plugging your damn book in my book. Plug it on your own time! 

Fine. Anyway, to give a bit of background for people who haven't read my book. 

Which you should go buy, said with heavy sarcasm dripping from my lips. 

Now who's the one plugging my book, Dashut? Anyway, in those days cocaine abuse wasn't as rampant as it was in later years and there was a communal cocaine bag which everyone used as needed when coffee wasn't strong enough. It was under the mixing board in between me and Richard. And every once in awhile the band would ask us to bring it into the iso booth. So after days and days of doing this, I hit upon an idea. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

"Richard!" 

Richard glanced at Ken while they sat at the mixing board. They were currently working on the new song that had grown out of Christine's song Keep Me There, a group effort they were tentatively calling The Chain. It had been a long day and the two of them were already exhausted. 

"Yeah," Richard said to his friend while he moved a dial. 

"Got an idea!" 

"Yeah," Richard said, half listening while he worked. 

"I'm gonna play a joke on the band to relieve the boredom." 

"Okay...," Richard said, still only paying half attention to his friend while he worked. "What joke?" 

"I'm gonna make up a fake cocaine bag and take it in the iso booth when they ask for it and dump it on the ground in front of them." 

Now Ken had Richard's full attention and he looked at his friend in shock. 

"Are you insane, Ken? Do you know what they'd do to you if they thought you spilled their cocaine?" 

"I'd tell them it was a joke, Richard." 

"Yeah. Well, you better tell them pretty damn fast before they rip your head off. And what would you use for cocaine?" 

"Talcum powder. There's some in the studio bathroom in the medicine cabinet. I'll make up a baggie with talcum powder, fold it up and hold it so the top is on the bottom and hold the fold closed with my thumb and when they ask for it, I'll go in there, move my thumb and let the powder spill on the floor." 

"And as you stand there waiting for laughter and shouts of "Oh, Ken, you're such a scamp," the band will instead howl with rage, run to you and pull your guts out of your body and you'll be dead before you hit the floor." 

"Just relax, Rich, I know what I'm doing. Hold down the fort, I'll be right back." 

Richard shook his head as Ken got up and left the room. He was sure his friend was about to do something he'd regret. The band could take a joke, but not when it came to their vices, and there was enough tension in the studio without Ken adding to it by pretending to dump their cocaine on the floor. 

Five minutes later, Ken returned holding a rolled up bag of talcum powder in his right hand. 

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," Richard said as he put the bag under the mixing board next to the real one.   
"You'll live to regret it, Ken, I'm tellin' ya. They're not gonna laugh at this." 

"I'll handle it, Rich, just back me up, alright?" 

"By doing what? Jumping on Mick's back and wrestling him to the ground?" 

Ken didn't answer. Richard sighed, muttering to himself about how people never listened to him before he went back to work. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

"Um...can one of you bring the bag in here?" Ken and Richard looked up from the mixing board when they heard Lindsey's voice through the iso booth speaker. The band had stopped playing and they were standing behind their instruments, looking expectantly at their engineers through the booth's plate glass window. Richard gave Ken a warning look when Ken reached under the mixing board and grabbed the fake bag. Richard watched the band warily while Ken fixed the bag so the top was on the bottom and rolled up, held in place with his thumb. 

"Ken...don't," Richard said as Ken stood up with the bag. "Damn it," he muttered when Ken ignored him and walked to the iso booth door. 

With a sinking feeling, he watched Ken go into the iso booth where the band was waiting. He stopped in front of the band and Richard watched Ken drop his thumb. To Richard, the bag seemed to unroll in slow motion and the powder fell out of it like a snowy waterfall onto the concrete floor. Richard's eyes darted to the band and his stomach lurched when he saw their horrified faces. Richard's stomach sank through the floor when he saw the horror slowly turn to rage as the realization of what they were seeing sank in.  He winced when the band pointed at the powder and yelled at Ken that it was falling out of the bag. Ken, meanwhile, played the doofus, pretending not to know what the panic was about. 

"Oh, Ken," Richard moaned when he saw the band was not getting the joke and was getting more and more  angry. Richard looked at John who looked like he was seconds away from leaping over Chris's keyboard and ripping Ken's throat out. He noticed they were all enraged now so to keep his friend from being mauled, he did the only thing he could thing of. He hit the microphone button and began to laugh and point at Ken. The band watched Richard for a moment, then looked at Ken, then looked back at Richard who was now holding up the real bag for them to see. 

"Here it is, that's just talcum powder," Richard said, pointing to the fake cocaine. 

The band members looked at one another and Richard breathed a sigh of relief when he saw them all relax.   
"Yeah, really funny, mate," Mick said to Ken, a relieved grin on his face. "Can we have the real bag now?" 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

And that, dear readers, is how I saved Ken's bacon. 

Oh, quit being so dramatic. I wasn't in any real danger. 

Not from where I was sitting. You were seconds away from at the very least getting the shit kicked out of you. Especially John. He was furious. You didn't see that or were you too busy playing the doofus to see the pitbulls surrounding you and snarling? 

They wouldn't have hurt me, Rich. I trust them. 

Me too but I wouldn't test that trust by fucking with their cocaine habits. 

Well, I'm alive and nothing happened. So, my partner in crime, what should we write about next?


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter Twenty Two 

So...now you're going to sit here while I type and dictate to me what to do. This book is going to take awhile, Ken, I hope you brought a tent. 

I'm interested in this. You told me several years ago you were thinking of doing this. I'm just curious to see what you'll say. 

Well, now I don't know what to write. 

You were on 1973, right? Continue that. 

Yeah, but what? I suppose I could move to the putting together of the Buckingham...oh, I have it! 

Yes? 

And since you're so curious about my time with Lindsey and Stevie, I don't think you know the whole story. 

Of what? 

The photo shoot for the Buckingham Nicks album. 

Oh! Okay, well I know a bit about it from Stevie talking about it. 

But you don't know my involvement or my take on it. 

No, I don't. So by all means, tell it. I'll sit back and...oh, damn, supper's ready. Just write, buddy, I'll bring our food in here. Be back in a minute. 

Okay, so...Ken is going to get supper so while I'm waiting for my food to be delivered, I will begin this chapter the evening before the photo shoot after I got home from work. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

Richard walked into his bedroom, exhausted. It'd been another long day and he was dead on his feet. He sank down on his bed, taking off his shoes and socks. He wrinkled his nose as he peeled off his socks. They were so ripe, even Richard couldn't ignore them anymore. Because he worked long hours, he rarely washed his clothes, especially his socks and the pile of unwashed, discarded socks were beginning to stink up his room. He decided that no matter what time he got home tomorrow, he'd drive to the laundromat and wash his clothes before his friends called the board of health and had his room condemned.   
"Richard...whoa!" Stevie staggered back when the odor of the socks reached her nose. She pinched her nostrils shut while Richard gave her an apologetic look. 

"God, Richard, you need to do some laundry and badly," Stevie said in a nasal voice as she kept her nostrils pinched shut. 

"Sorry, Stevie. I'll do a load tomorrow." 

"No, let me do it tonight because this needs to be addressed immediately!" 

Richard nodded sheepishly, ashamed that he let his smelly clothes pile up like this. Stevie left and came back with a white, plastic laundry basket. Richard helped her gather up his socks and other clothes until the basket was filled to the brim. Then Stevie took the basket away and walked out to her car, intending to take it and a basket of her and Lindsey's clothes to the laundromat that night. 

Richard, still feeling bad about not keeping up with the laundry, walked out of his room and offered to go with her to help. Stevie accepted, telling him she had something to tell him anyway as well as show him. 

She checked with Lindsey to see if he wanted to go with them. Lindsey shook his head, telling her he needed to get ready for the shoot in the morning. Stevie told him about Richard going and about his laundry. 

"Thank God," Lindsey said. "I was starting to smell the clothes through the door." 

Stevie told him supper was on the stove and to save some for them before kissing him and telling him that she'd see him later. Then she and Richard left to go to the laundromat. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

Ken swallowed a mouthful of beef stroganoff as he sat in the chair beside Richard and watched his computer screen. The two men were eating beef stroganoff, mashed potatoes, corn and they were drinking glasses of Coke. Richard's food was on a TV tray beside his chair. Ken had the same near his chair but at the moment, he was holding his plate in one hand while eating with a fork in the other. 

"And Lindsey let Stevie go alone with you," he said, nodding at the screen. 

Richard turned his head, an odd look on his face. 

"Yeah, why wouldn't he let her go with me," he said. 

"Because your name isn't Lindsey Buckingham." 

"Lindsey didn't mind Stevie going somewhere with me," Richard said indignantly. 

"Really? He didn't like it when she was alone with Don Henley." 

"Because Don was an arrogant jerk back then," Richard said. 

"Okay. What about Mick?" 

"Mick was an addict who took advantage of her vulnerability one night in Australia and seduced her into a relationship." 

"Joe?" 

"Joe had a big nose." 

"Jimmy?" 

"Jimmy had a unibrow." 

"Okay, you're really reaching if your only gripe for the last two men is facial features. Ooo, what about Prince?" 

Richard frowned. 

"She banged Prince?" 

"Some people think so. So what about him, if she did?" 

"He...was too short and purple." 

"So what makes you different then?" 

"I'm...not an arrogant, addicted, big nosed, unibrowed, short, purple person?" 

Ken pointed to his printed out manuscript on the table beside the computer. 

"Says here that you fantasized about fucking Stevie the first time you saw her," Ken said. 

"Yeah? Also notice it said I never acted on that fantasy? Besides, she was hot. You didn't lust after Stevie the first time you saw her?" 

"No. Because I thought Lindsey was Stevie, thanks to you." 

"You're never gonna let that drop, are you?" 

"Nope." 

Richard rolled his eyes. 

"Anyway, Lindsey trusted me around Stevie." 

"He must have if he let you put your tongue in her mouth." 

Richard gave him a smug look. 

"Yes, I was privileged in that respect," he said. 

"Eh, Diane's probably better," Ken said, shrugging. 

Richard shrugged  back and turned his attention back to his computer while Ken watched the screen and ate. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

At the laundromat, Richard chose a washer next to Stevie's. He separated his clothes into whites and colors while Stevie stood beside him and watched. 

"You know how to do that? Very good. Lindsey just throws everything in at once." 

"Mom made sure I learned since I was responsible for my laundry as a teen." 

"Smart woman." 

"Yes. She is," Richard said, smiling. 

"Anyway," Stevie said as she continued to sort her clothes, "the reason I wanted  to talk to you is because the photo shoot for our album cover is tomorrow." 

"That's great!" 

Stevie nodded. 

"After work today, I went and got a brand new blouse for the occasion. Spent 110 dollars on it." 

Richard's eyes boggled. 

"110 dollars," he said. 

Stevie nodded. 

"I want to look my best. I want us to be noticed by the public." 

"Your face will get people to notice you...I'm serious," Richard said when Stevie blushed at that, "Your face as well as your talent." 

Stevie patted his back. 

"I'll show you the blouse when we get back home." 

Richard nodded and smiled as he and Stevie finished putting a load of clothes in the washers. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

When they got home, Richard warmed up the leftovers in the fridge while Stevie went to her bedroom to put on her blouse. Richard was feeling good. He had clean clothes and he wouldn't have to burn the mountain of smelly socks in the room. As he finished warming up their dinner, Stevie came into the room wearing a brand new white blouse. As she modeled it for him, Richard whistled in appreciation. 

Just then, Lindsey came to the kitchen door and stood there, watching his girl. Richard glanced at him and was confused when he saw an odd look on Lindsey's face while he watched Stevie. He could sense apprehension coming from his friend and sensed he was holding something in but he couldn't figure out what it could be. Before he could ask, Lindsey turned and left the room. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

The next day Richard was at work. Everyone was taking a break and Richard was chatting with Keith at the mixing board when the receptionist came to the door. 

"Sorry but...Stevie Nicks is here to see you," she said to them. 

Richard and Keith gave each other a quizzical look. 

"Did she say why," Keith asked. 

"No but she's crying and upset," the receptionist said. 

"Oh God, someone else has died," Richard said while Keith told her to let Stevie come in. 

The receptionist nodded, left and a moment later, Stevie came into the room carrying her purse and a large manilla envelope. Richard stood up as Stevie walked to him, tears streaming down her cheeks. 

"Stevie, honey, what is it," Richard said, holding her arms when Stevie stopped in front of him. "God, did someone else die?" 

"Only my dignity," Stevie said. 

Richard and Keith shared a glance. Then Stevie explained what happened at the photo shoot and Richard felt his blood boil as she described being fooled into thinking she would be allowed to wear the blouse she purchased before the photographer told her to go topless. She then opened the envelope and pulled out two proof sheets before handing them to Richard. Keith stood up and stood at Richard's side while they studied them. The top one was a series of photos where Stevie and Lindsey were fully dressed, both of them in various poses. Then he saw the second proof sheet and his blood nearly erupted like a volcano. Now they were both topless with Lindsey posed directly in front of Stevie. You couldn't see much but Richard could still see a bit of Stevie's right breast. He looked at Stevie with silent shock. 

"He knew, Richard," Stevie said, "Lindsey knew that they would shoot us topless before I went out and bought the blouse." 

Suddenly, Richard understood the odd look on Lindsey's face and the sense of apprehension as he watched Stevie model the blouse. Richard was glad Lindsey wasn't around because he had an urge to knock his block off. 

"He didn't listen to you," Keith asked Stevie. "You didn't tell them you didn't want to do this?" 

"Lindsey didn't give a flying fuck about what I wanted. I tried to protest and Lindsey told me it was art and to shut up and quit acting like a baby. My parents are going to want a copy of the album, how can I give them one if I'm naked on the front of it? Richard...no," Stevie said when she suddenly noticed the rage on her friend's face. "Don't do anything to Lindsey, please. Just let it go." 

"Stevie, he forced you to go topless and pose for an album cover that'll be seen by the public. He humiliated you and I'm not allowed to be angry about that?" 

"Yes, you can be angry but don't maim or kill Lindsey," Stevie said, grabbing his arm. 

"Richard, no. Don't do something that'll put you in jail," Keith said. "Calm down before you do something you'll regret." 

Richard calmed down but not completely. He never thought he would want to kill anyone but he wanted to kill Lindsey badly over this. 

"Is Lindsey here now," Richard said through gritted teeth. 

"No. I left him at the studio and drove here. Richard, please calm down, please." 

Richard forced himself to calm down but he could still feel the hot magma of rage bubbling beneath the surface, threatening to erupt at any moment.

Keith put a hand on his shoulder. 

"Look, Richard, take the rest of the day off. I can tell you're in no condition to concentrate. Stevie, here," he said, reaching for his wallet. " You two go eat at a restaurant on me and both of you calm down before heading home. Alright?" 

Stevie and Richard nodded. Stevie took the money, thanked Keith and took Richard's hand, leading him out of the studio while Keith watched them go with a concerned look on his face. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

"Wow," Ken said when Richard leaned back in his chair to take a break. "So did you calm down?" 

"Enough that I didn't kill Lindsey when we got home that night." 

"And would you have killed him?" 

Richard chewed thoughtfully on a mouthful of stroganoff before swallowing. 

"To be honest, I don't know what I would have done," he said, glancing at Ken. 

"Did Lindsey try to explain?" 

Richard snorted and nodded. 

"Came to my room and tried to assign blame to Stevie. Narcissistic tactic. Nothing is ever the narcissist's fault, even when it is their fault. He tried to tell me he knew they were going to be topless and tried to tell Stevie not to buy the blouse but she didn't listen and got it anyway." 

"Do you believe that? I mean, Stevie can be stubborn when she wants to be." 

"Yes. But she's also practical. We were living hand to mouth then and that 110 dollars was the food budget for the month. Stevie wouldn't have blown an entire month's worth of food on a blouse just to defy Lindsey." 

Ken nodded. 

"So what did you do," he asked. 

Richard sighed. 

"Nothing," he said as he looked at the floor. "In the interest of peace and because Stevie asked me to, I pretended to accept his bullshit and let the matter drop. But something changed between Lindsey and Stevie that day." 

"That was the beginning of the end of their relationship?" 

"A bit but the beginning of that started long before that day. No, after that day, Stevie came to me more often for advice or to talk because she knew I'd listen and not blow her off or tell her to shut up. It brought us closer together as friends while pulling them apart as lovers with the result that I eventually ended up in the middle of their feud, having to take sides when I cared for them both." 

"Usually Stevie's side," Ken said, nodding. "I remember all the times that happened in the studio. Stevie dumping on you every time Lindsey did something and wanted you to defend her." 

Richard nodded. 

"And the photo shoot was the start of that. I became the empathetic shoulder to cry on after that. And I wasn't strong enough to tell them to fuck off when I should have. I felt like such a weakling, Ken." 

Ken gave him a sympathetic look and put his hand on his shoulder. 

"You're not weak. You have a lot of inner strength. You have enough inner strength that you came through that hell with your sanity intact. It's not weak to be an empathetic ear and a loyal friend. In fact, we need more like you in this crazy world. The problem was the band took advantage of your kind heart and pulled you into their bullshit and feuds and took advantage of you. They used you. Hell, they used me too. I wasn't immune to being in the middle. People with out of control egos like to have people around to kiss their butts and make them feel better and unfortunately, we were both targets for that. We were young and innocent in some ways and we were too blind to see when we were being used. Then we got dumped by them when we were no longer necessary. That's their fault, Richard, not yours and not mine." 

Richard smiled at him. 

"Thanks, man," he said. 

Ken smiled. 

"You're a good man, Rich. A kind, caring, sensitive, thoughtful man who I'm proud to call my friend. If you were an arrogant asshole, I wouldn't be sitting here now." 

Richard felt a lump come to his throat. 

"I'm proud and honored to call you a friend too," he said. "I'll be devastated if you die first." 

"And I'll feel the same if you go first, buddy." 

He smiled when he noticed Richard getting misty eyed at that. 

"Course there is the matter of the story where I eat my dog, I'm afraid that will count against your brownie points." 

Richard chuckled. 

"Hey, considering that dog was a sex fiend, be glad I didn't write a beastiality story instead." 

"Yes, well Scooter had an insatiable sexual appetite, just like his owner." 

Richard chuckled. He took a break for a bit, eating his dinner while he chatted with one of his oldest and dearest friends.


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter Twenty Three 

After eating, Richard collected everything and took it up to the kitchen. Ken offered to help but Richard insisted he was a guest and told him to wait, telling him he needed to get up and move around anyway. 

While he was gone, Ken stared at the computer screen and the story his friend just typed and shook his head. 

"God, Rich, I don't envy you being in the middle of all that mess," he muttered to himself. "No wonder you wanted me there when Mick chose you to engineer Rumours. You never would have lasted the entire time by yourself." 

"Dad?" 

Ken was jolted from his thoughts and turned to see his daughter, Colbie, standing in the doorway, peering in at him. 

"Hey, hon, get enough to eat?," Ken said, holding out his arm to encircle her waist when she walked to his side. 

"Yeah, I did but we wondered about you being in here with Uncle Rich. What's going on?" 

"He's writing a book or at least writing down some of his memories." 

"Have you read any of it?" 

"Sped read through most of it. Most of it is about his time spent with Stevie and Lindsey before I knew them. Stuff I didn't really know about." 

"Is that some of it too?,"Colbie asked, pointing at the computer screen. 

"Yeah. He wrote that while I was sitting here. That's also about his time spent with Lindsey and Stevie. He should be back in a moment, hon. Hang out with us." 

"I will but he's actually helping Aunt Kong do dishes and clean up before he comes back. What does this say?" 

Colbie walked over to Richard's chair, sat down and sped read through the chapter on the monitor while Ken watched her. When she finished, she turned to her dad in shock. 

"Stevie was naked on an album cover?," she said to Ken. 

Ken nodded. 

"Buckingham Nicks. I have the album but its in storage. Its the only album they did before they joined Fleetwood Mac." 

"And Lindsey forced her to be naked on it? I would have kicked his ass than do that." 

Ken chuckled, proud of his daughter. 

"I have no doubt of that Colb, but Lindsey can be a very controlling and demanding person." 

"He's very bossy and controlling?"

Ken nodded. 

"Yeah. Richard had some psychology training in college and his diagnosis of him is of a narcissus. And after putting up with Lindsey for many years, I agree. He's better now, not like he was when Richard wrote that but he still has those tendencies now. They all do, the whole band. Fame does that to people, makes them vain and selfish and use people who genuinely care for them and have their best interest at heart. That's why I don't want you to become like that, Colb. Don't let success go to your head like that and make you abandon people who are truly your friends." 

"I won't, Dad, I promise. But...is that what happened to Uncle Rich?" 

Ken got up, checked the hallway to make sure Richard wasn't around before he sat back down and nodded. 

"Richard is a good man and a gentle soul and some people latch on to people like that. I'm not saying that the band members didn't care for us, they did. But it's easy to take advantage of a good hearted person, especially when you get used to butt kissers and people who cater to your every whim. Richard is a true and loyal friend but he made the mistake of trying to be friends with two people with huge egos and needy psyches who craved his love and attention. When Stevie and Lindsey split, Richard was caught in the middle of it and each one tried to get him on their side, which he didn't want to do because he loved them both. Then John and Chris pulled him into their disputes and then Mick did. They did it to me too but I wasn't as emotionally invested in them as Richard was, especially with Stevie and Lindsey. That's part of the reason those times were so hellish for us. I left after producing Mirage and found other work with other people but Richard stayed on until halfway through the recording of the Time album before he got burned out, gave up and left. He lived with Lindsey for a number of years and Lindsey used him. He had Richard co produce his Out of the Cradle solo album and he never paid Richard for that. Lindsey got free help and Richard did it because Lindsey was his best friend." 

"God," Colbie said, "and Uncle Rich never said anything?" 

Ken shook his head. 

"Not at first anyway. He eventually got in an argument with Lindsey and moved out of his house and that's when Lindsey ditched him. When Richard finally stood up for himself, Lindsey couldn't stand it and abandoned probably the best friend he ever had. He hasn't spoken to Richard since and Lindsey got everyone else to cut off contact with him too." 

"Oh God, that's horrible." 

"Yeah. Richard was so devastated, he gave away or sold almost all his Mac awards and memorabilia. He couldn't bear to look at it and remember." 

"And you? Why you, Dad? Why did they abandon you?" 

"Not completely sure but I think they keep surrounding themselves with the wrong people, people who influence them in the wrong ways.  Rich and me aren't the only ones that have been dropped without warning. Ray Lindsey is another one and there's probably others. But I can't even speak to the band directly anymore, I get their handlers. And a lot of times, the handlers talk to me like, oh, you're the guy they knew thirty years ago, in a dismissive voice. I can't even get tickets or passes to their shows sometimes because of these idiots. I got backstage one time at a show to talk to the band and I was at the end of a line so long, I left after two hours because I still hadn't gotten to see them." 

Colbie shook her head. 

"I can't believe they did that to you, Dad. After all you did for them, you and Uncle Rich." 

Ken nodded. 

"Rich and me helped make them a success. Especially with Rumours. But they act like we're nuisances now and beneath them. No one should treat anyone else like that, like dirt." 

"Is that why we never see them?" 

Ken nodded. 

"Stevie did see you when you were a baby. Stevie does talk to me now actually and I've seen Lindsey at interviews or various functions if we happen to be there together. I've spoken to Chris a couple of times but I haven't seen Mick or John for a long time. And like I said, Rich hasn't spoken to the band at all. When he got in that bad car wreck a few years ago and ended up in the hospital, not one of them came to see him. He misses them so badly, he was such a big part of their lives for so long. I've had you and your mom but until Richard married Kong and had his sons, he had no one at home. He had me and the friends who didn't bail on him but that's it. He's better now, except his back is screwed up from the crash, but he does have a loving family to come home to and that's helped." 

"And he has us," Colbie said. 

Ken smiled and nodded. He suddenly heard cheerful whistling out in the hallway and put a finger to his lips, warning his daughter to be quiet. Richard came whistling through the door. Pretending not to see Colbie, he walked over to his chair, turned and started to sit on her. Colbie feigned panic and yelled and Richard let out a melodramatic gasp as he spun around and faked shock at seeing her. 

"I'm sorry, didn't see you there. Going blind, you know," Richard said, wiggling the glasses on his face while Ken chuckled. "Happens in old age, along with senility." 

Colbie giggled. She stood up and embraced Richard. Richard smiled warmly and returned the hug. Colbie let him have his chair and got one from the corner of the room while Richard settled into his chair with a sigh. 

"So, my adopted singing superstar, how's the career coming along," Richard said to Colbie after she sat down. "Your old man still cracking the whip and turning you into his musical slave so he can make millions off ya?" 

"Oh yeah, Dad, is a real slave driver," Colbie said while Ken chuckled. "I don't get a moment's rest." 

"I bet not. I know he cracked the whip on me back in the day," Richard said, teasingly eyeing his friend. 

Ken mimed cracking a whip and Colbie giggled. 

"Work, my mules, make me wealthy," he said to his friend and daughter as he kept on cracking the pretend whip. 

"See. Nothing ever changes. I'm Francis the Talking Mule to this man. Once we're both dead, he'll be cracking the whip at me around Heaven while I bray back at my master and plow the clouds. 

He winked at Colbie when she giggled at that. 

"So you're writing a book like dad did," Colbie said, pointing to the computer screen. 

"Well, don't know if I wanna sell it publicly. But I did want to preserve my memories for posterity." 

"Can I watch you do it," Colbie said. 

"And I never thought I'd end up with an audience when I sat out to do it but since your dad is here, why not? Only thing is I need to think of what to write next." 

"Can you write something about you and Dad?" 

Richard sucked on his left cheek while he thought. 

"S'pose I could skip ahead again to when we were working together. You want a happy, silly, sad or weird memory?" 

Colbie thought. 

"Weird memory," she finally said. 

Richard looked at Ken as he thought. Then a smile spread over his face. 

"Got it! Ken, come here and assist me, please. I think it's time the Colbster heard about the time Lindsey cut off his hair and beard."


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter Twenty Four 

"Lindsey cutting off his hair and beard, that's a weird story?," Colbie said as she watched her father roll up beside Richard. 

Richard and Ken shared a look before Ken looked at his daughter. 

"Yes, it is, trust me," Ken said. "It's also a good peek into his mindset at the time. By the time it happened, the band members were pretty much completely off the wall." 

"And we weren't far behind them," Richard said to Colbie, hooking his thumb at Ken. "But I wasn't there at first, which is why I need his help to tell the story." 

"Why? Where were you at first?," Colbie said. 

"Out getting hookers for the band. Kidding, I'm kidding," Richard said, holding up his hands when Colbie's mouth dropped open. "I was out getting food for everyone. And he was alone with Lindsey since the others were also taking a break." 

"I really haven't told you that much about Tusk because I don't like to dwell on the memories," Ken said to his daughter. "People think Rumours was bad, it was nothing compared to Tusk. Tusk was when everyone was really out of control with drugs flying everywhere." 

"Yeah, Rumours was an ice cream social in comparison," Richard said, rolling his eyes. 

"How did you guys stand it?," Colbie said, shaking her head. 

"Um...weed?," Richard said, giving his friend a lopsided grin. 

"And booze," Ken added. 

"Right. Weed and booze in prodigious amounts until we didn't care anymore." 

"Yeah, right. Come on, guys, I'm being serious here," Colbie said, rolling her eyes. 

Richard and Ken looked at each other. 

"She thinks we're kidding," Richard said to his friend. 

"I know," Ken said, nodding. 

"You're serious? You guys really used pot and liquor to get through it all." 

She giggled when the two men just stared at her. Richard finally looked at Ken. 

"Have you told this child nothing about your life?," Richard said to Ken. 

"Yes. But apparently the child can't picture me as anything except a boy scout." 

"No, Dad, I know you did drugs back then." 

"Okay. So why is it hard to understand that I did a fair amount of drugs along with everyone else? Colb, I know that there aren't drugs flowing in the studios nowadays, certainly not in mine, but in the 70s, things were different. There was a crapload of drugs back then and everybody did them." 

"And if you didn't, you were square," Richard added, "at least in our circles." 

"I'm sorry if it's disturbing to think of your dad as an addict, hon. I'm not proud of it either but that was our generation." 

"Hippies," Colbie said. 

"Partly," Ken said. "But not everyone who did drugs were hippies. Record execs in business suits did them too." 

"But I mean your generation was the hippie generation," Colbie said. 

"Yes, sweetheart," Richard said. "But as your dad said, other people besides hippies did drugs. I had long hair back then but I never considered myself a hippie." 

"Nor did I," Ken said. 

"But the drugs and alcohol started getting bad with the Rumours period and reached its zenith with Tusk. We weren't quite as nuts as the band was but we didn't have the money they had. We had money but the band had crazy amounts of money and they could do things your dad and me couldn't." 

"Like what," Colbie said. 

"Well...like have lobster and crates of champagne delivered to the studio every day," Ken said. 

"Everyone had their own limos everywhere they went," Richard said. "Private airplane, masseuse for Scooter, things like that." 

"Scooter? That was your dog, wasn't it?," Colbie said to Ken. 

"Yes but Scooter didn't have a masseuse," Ken said while Richard snickered. "Although, I'm surprised he didn't, given everything else that happened." 

"Wish I'd thought of hiring a masseuse back then, would have been nice," Richard said to Ken. 

He looked at Colbie and smiled warmly at her. 

"But...at the time of the shearing of the Buckingham wooly sheep, we were maybe a month or two into recording the album. And...um...already things were wild. We weren't quite as disciplined as we'd been during Rumours. We came in around seven at night, eat a huge meal, party till about two in the morning and then...we worked on the album." 

Colbie shook her head in wonder. 

"The first day there," Ken said to Colbie, "I had the dials set up right where I wanted and Lindsey told me to turn them 180 degrees because he wanted to see what happened if I did and also he didn't want us to make Rumours Part Two. Then the craziness went on from there. Lindsey was determined to be different from everyone else. And that's what led to the sheep shearing incident, as Richard puts it. So...now that we've given you a bit of background, we can begin the story."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

Ken sat by the mixing board, sipping a beer while Scooter slept underneath it. Everyone had left the studio for the moment but Ken preferred to hold down the fort until everyone came back. They had ordered four large pizzas and Richard had gone to pick them up. It was nearly eight PM but the night was just beginning by their standards. Ken was tired. They stayed up all night and worked until nine in the morning, sometimes later. He wasn't getting much sleep but then again, neither was anyone else. Drugs were rampant, tensions were high and excess was the norm. After the turmoil of Rumours, Ken thought he must have been mad to sign up for another album with Fleetwood Mac. After the mega success of Rumours, he and Richard probably could have had their pick of any performer out there. Numerous offers actually had poured in from people wanting to work with them but in the end, Mick practically got down on his knees and begged them to produce the Mac's next album. And they relented. Richard out of loyalty to Stevie and Lindsey and Ken out of loyalty to Richard. 

After the shitstorm of Rumours, Ken figured things couldn't get any worse than it had during that tumultuous year. He was wrong. Lindsey had become a megalomaniac, a control freak who wanted control of every aspect of the process. It made Ken wonder why he and Richard were there at all since Lindsey wanted to wear the producer's hat as well as the guitarist's. He'd read about how tyrranical Paul McCartney had eventually become in the studio when the Beatles were together and he was of the opinion that Lindsey was now their McCartney, trying to rule the band with an iron hand. Ken shook his head. Paul's attitude had led to the breakup of the Beatles, would Lindsey be responsible for the breakup of the Mac? 

As he took another sip of beer, he suddenly heard a faint yell from somewhere beyond the studio door. It was so faint, he thought he must have imagined it. He stayed still and listened for a repeat of it but heard nothing further. After a few minutes of total silence, he shrugged and took another swig of beer. 

He was nearly finished with his beer when the studio door opened and someone walked inside. Ken frowned. The man was clean shaved with closely cropped dark hair. Strangely enough, Ken noticed the man was wearing an outfit identical to the one Lindsey was wearing that day. Then it suddenly dawned on him who this unfamiliar man was and his mouth dropped open as Lindsey turned and walked towards him. 

"Lindsey, is that you?" 

Lindsey stopped in front of him. 

"Yes, it's me. Who else would it be," he said, annoyed. 

"Well, you must forgive me, Lindsey, since half an hour ago, you had an afro and a full beard. What the fuck did you do to yourself?" 

"Cut my hair off." 

"Why?" 

"I freaked out." 

Ken stared at him, uncomprehending. 

"Freaked...out," he said slowly. "Define...freaked out, Lindsey." 

"I was taking a shower and I freaked out and decided to cut my hair," Lindsey said with a shrug as if it were obvious. 

Ken couldn't believe what he was seeing. Just when things couldn't get any more bizarre, Lindsey went and gave himself an impromptu haircut and shave in the shower. What was next, John castrating himself with a butter knife because he hated  the shape of his balls? 

Ken was about to say something else when the door suddenly opened and Richard entered with Stevie. Richard was carrying the pizza boxes in his arms while Stevie walked beside him, chatting amiably. When she and Richard caught sight of Lindsey, they slowed to a stop and stared at him. 

"Hello," Richard said hesitantly to Lindsey. "Are you a friend of Ken's?" 

"That's Lindsey, guys," Ken said. 

Richard and Stevie did double takes. 

"Lindsey, what the fuck did you do?," Stevie said. 

"I gave myself a haircut and shave, Stevie, what does it look like?" 

"Yeah, I can definitely tell its not a professional haircut," Richard said dryly. "Where did you do this little trim?" 

"In the shower." 

"And...is there big clumps of wet, fuzzy hair all over the shower now?," Richard said. 

"Yeah, you did clean the shower afterwards, didn't you," Ken added. 

"No, that's what janitors are for," Lindsey said. 

Stevie rolled her eyes. 

"I don't believe this," she muttered, throwing up her hands. "Could it get any more insane in this group?" 

"What's insane about cutting my hair, Stevie," Lindsey said indignantly. "I felt like cutting my hair so I did!" 

"Yeah?," Stevie said. "Most people go to a salon. They don't stand in the shower with scissors and start hacking away at themselves." 

"I didn't use scissors. I used your nail clippers. It was the only thing I could find that would work," Lindsey retorted. 

"Okay, everyone, here's my plan. I'm going to sit down and eat some pizza and ignore all this," Richard said as he walked past them with the pizzas. 

As he walked out the door to the studio lounge, Scooter, sensing a possible feast, tried to follow but Richard shut the door before he could get out. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

"You just left and ate, eh?," Colbie said, amused. 

Richard leaned back in his chair and looked at her while Ken chuckled. 

"Would you have stayed there and listened to all that insanity?," Richard asked her. 

"No. I just think it's funny that you decided to just up and leave the room and go eat rather than stand there and listen to all that. And the shower littered with hair...was it?" 

"Um...I was busy feeding my face. To be honest, I was afraid to look," Richard said. 

"I didn't look either but I took Lindsey's word that he left the mess for the janitor. That would have been Lindsey's M.O. at the time. If he did, I feel for the poor guy who had to clean it up. The way Lindsey's hair looks, he probably thought it was a bunch of wet pubes in there." 

"Ew, dad!," Colbie said, making a face while the men giggled. 

"Hey, I never thought of that before," Richard said to Ken. "So if the carpet matched the drapes, I guess that would really be true in Lindsey's case." 

"Ugh, shut up, you guys!," Colbie said while the men chortled. 

"But anyway, after that day when Lindsey clipped his pube hair, he never went back to having a beard," Ken said. 

"Yes. He then found Stevie's makeup bag and became a pixie for awhile," Richard said. "And then the band's resident pretty boy." 

"I thought you were the band's resident pretty boy with those long, flowing locks you had back then," Ken said to his friend. 

"I tried to be but I failed miserably at the whole Farrah Fawcet look," Richard said while Colbie giggled. "Besides, no one could outpretty Lindsey in the band! Not even the women. It's another example of Lindsey trying to be everything in the band, Colbie. He was determined to be the best guitarist, songwriter, producer, woman..." 

"You guys are mean," Colbie said, grinning as the two men laughed. 

"Eh, we teased each other all the time, hon," Ken said. "That was another way we got through all that hell alive." 

"I wish you guys never went through all that," Colbie said, sobering up. 

Richard gave her a loving look. 

"It wasn't all bad, sweetheart. There were fun moments too. The problem was as time went on, the fun moments happened less and less. But there was still moments of fun and joy, even in the darkest days. We just held on to those moments and used them to carry us through the crap." 

"Not to mention, we became a family and not everything runs smoothly in a family. Lindsey and Stevie weren't always at each other's throats, not even during Tusk. They could get along if they wanted to." 

"Emphasis on "if","Richard added. "But he's right, just when you felt ready to throw in the towel, life would bring you a metaphorical cool breeze and you smiled and felt better and got your second wind and carried on. If it'd been wall to wall turmoil, I never would have lasted with them till 95." 

"I lasted till 82 but that's because Lionel Ritchie and Michael Jackson waved money in my face and said produce us, so I did." 

"And you left Uncle Rich by himself," Colbie teased her dad. 

"Yup, he left me alone with one would be woman while he ran off with another would be woman," Richard said. 

"And who is this would be woman I ran off with," Ken asked him. 

"Michael Jackson. He started looking a bit womanish by Bad, yes?" 

"Okay, perhaps, but so did a lot of men back in the 80s," Ken said. 

"But not you, dad," Colbie teased. 

"Nope. I couldn't pull off the whole gender bender look. I'm too manly," Ken said with a sniff. "Shut up, Dashut," he added when Richard looked at him with an evil grin and started to open his mouth. "Anyway, before Uncle Rich starts in on a bunch of she male jokes about me, let's think of something else to write.


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter Twenty Five 

"So now what do you want me to write about," Richard said to Colbie. 

"Before I choose, can I ask a question?" 

"Sure, sweetheart, ask away," Richard said, shrugging. 

"That scream you thought you heard, Dad, was that Lindsey freaking out?" 

"Yeee...ah, I think so," Ken said as Richard looked at him. "In fact, that was probably the exact moment he freaked out." 

"And just like in Shakespeare, after the scream, he yelled "Out, out, damnable hair, a pox on thee!" and he started shearing himself," Richard said dramatically. 

"Okay, now I have an image of Lindsey in Elizabethan clothes spouting off Shakespeare while he chops his hair off," Ken said as Colbie laughed harder. 

Colbie sobered up and thought. 

"Did you and Dad play other pranks on the band?," she asked. 

Richard picked up the printout of the cocaine prank and handed it to her. He chuckled as Colbie read it, her eyes getting wider and wider the farther she read. 

"Dad, I can't believe you had the guts to do this to them," she said, looking at her father when she finished it. 

"That's what I thought," Richard said. "I thought it was stupid and reckless and I was right. They nearly beat the crap outta him." 

"Well, what about other funny moments, can you write a chapter about some of those?," she said, handing the printout back to Richard. 

Richard scratched his chin while he thought. 

"Could tell her about the time John put the chicken and bales of hay in John Courage's hotel room," Ken said to Richard. 

"What? Chickens and bales of hay?," Colbie said as the men laughed. "Seriously?" 

The two men nodded. 

"Yes. That was quite interesting actually," Richard said. "I was also thinking of my retirement party pie fight. Or the time the van broke down in the middle of nowhere in winter and it became like the Donner Party before help finally arrived." 

"Van?" 

Richard smiled at Colbie. 

"Before the private jet, everyone traveled together in a big passenger van and my job was to drive it. We got stuck one time during the winter and it took forever to get help because Mick had the bright idea of taking the scenic route when we knew full well a snowstorm was coming," Richard said. "I ended up stranded with the band, your dad and John Courage when we hit an icy patch and ran into a ditch. We spent that time eating, bitching and trying to get the van unstuck before a pickup truck happened along and pulled us out. Actually, there are several good anecdotes about driving the van that you might enjoy." 

"What about the chicken and hay one, I want to hear that one first." 

"Really? Sure you don't want to hear about the time Rich and me got onto Studio 54 while the Rumours tour was in New York?," Ken said innocently. 

"Guys, you're making it hard to choose," Colbie said, laughing. 

"Well, see, I had to rescue Richard," Ken said smugly. 

Colbie raised an eyebrow and looked at Richard. Richard sighed and nodded. 

"Unfortunately, he's right. He did have to come to my rescue," he said while Ken gave everyone a smug look. 

"Save you from what?," Colbie asked. 

"From being gang raped." 

"What?" 

Colbie's eyebrows nearly hit her hairline. 

"Raped? You were nearly raped?," she said. "By who?" 

Ken chuckled as Richard shifted uneasily in his seat before muttering something Colbie couldn't understand. She ask Richard what he said and Ken grinned. 

"He said two transexuals," he said while Richard reddened. 

"You were nearly gang raped by two transexuals?," Colbie said to Richard.

"I thought they were women. They were very convincing," Richard said. 

"Okay. What's the story behind that then?," Colbie said. 

"You wanna read about my near sexual assault," Richard said as Ken sniggered. 

"Well I mean...it sounds interesting," Colbie said sheepishly. 

"Is that it or do you wanna read about your dad being a hero?" 

"That too," Colbie teased him, poking his side 

Richard rolled his eyes in mock exasperation while Ken chuckled. He smiled fondly at Colbie before clearing his throat. 

"Do you know anything about Studio 54," he asked her. 

"I've heard the name before but that's it." 

"Do you know it was a nightclub in New York?" 

Colbie nodded. 

"Okay," Richard said, "Studio 54 was the hottest nightclub in New York, especially during the disco era. It was also known for its excess and debauchery. Basically, anything goes was the policy there." 

"Anything? Even sex?" 

"Yes," Ken said, "Not on the dance floor though. They had special rooms in the back where you could do drugs, get wasted and have sex, even orgies. It was like ancient Rome in some ways. However, you had to be invited back to these rooms in order to partake of the hedonism. Once you were back there, you could do anything short of burning the place down." 

"The club was also veeeeery hard to get into. Even celebrities were denied entry some nights. The owners were on a power trip and I suspect they got off on denying the rich and famous entry to their club. But every night a ton of people waited behind a velvet rope, hoping to be selected by the doorman for entry. There was another famous club then, called CBGBs which was more punk rock and new wave. Ken, Lindsey and me had been to that one before but never 54." 

"Lindsey didn't go with you?," Colbie asked him. 

Ken shook his head. 

"Lindsey thought disco was for pussies," he said to her. 

"And you guys didn't?," Colbie teased them, "Or was Lindsey implying you were pussies?" 

"No, I didn't think disco was for pussies," Richard said, "and yes, I'm sure Lindsey thought your dad and me were pussies for liking it. He was into The Clash, The Ramones and The Talking Heads, not Abba and the Bee Gees." 

"Were you a good dancer," Colbie asked Richard. 

"My dear young lady, I was known as  Disco Dickie Dashut back in the day," Richard said proudly. 

"That and Douchebag Dorkbrain Dashut." 

Colbie laughed when, without warning, Richard jerked his hand up and over and smacked Ken hard on top of the head. Richard ducked and evaded Ken when he tried to do the same to him and stuck his tongue out at him. 

"You guys are such children sometimes," Colbie teased. 

"That's because I'm in my second childhood, dear," Richard said. "I may grow old but I wont grow up." 

"Show us some dance moves then, Uncle Rich." 

Ken laughed when Richard feigned fear. 

"No. I mean, you see, I have a bad back. And rheumatism and arthritis and Spanish flu and dengue fever and hemorrhoids and pimples and a stubbed toe so I can't possibly do it, sorry. All I can do is this..." 

He made a fist with his right hand, thrust it in the air and stuck his index finger out ala John Travolta in Saturday Night Fever. 

"And even that has just thrown my back out of alignment so I'm done for the rest of the week," he said lowering his hand back to his lap. 

"I can see why Dad likes you. You guys are alike." 

Richard feigned shock and looked at his friend. 

"We are? I had no idea. No wonder you had to go get that Richard's Clone tattoo lasered off your lower back." 

Ken rolled his eyes while his daughter giggled. 

"This is why he's an engineer because he sucks at being a comedian," Ken said. "I had to put up with his sucky humor through 1982 when I finally yelled "Enough bad humor!" and ran screaming from him." 

"I thought you said you left because Lionel and Mikey stuffed money in your g string and asked you to make music for them," Richard said. 

Colbie bent over laughing as her father eyed the impish look on his friend's face. 

"Okay. So before we make the leap from money in my g string to me giving Lionel a lap dance, start writing the story," Ken said.


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter Twenty Six 

"Okay, before I begin, one other noteworthy thing," Richard said to Colbie. "I don't know if you know much about the 70s but one of the fashion trends for men was to wear your shirt unbuttoned or wear low cut shirts to expose your manly, hairy chest. Then you completed the look with a gold necklace or medallion. Sadly, I fell victim to this fashion trend." 

"And I didn't because I felt my chest was ugly," Ken said. "I will add that some people also wore a tiny silver, gold or platinum coke spoon around their neck, which thankfully Rich never did." 

"Because I couldn't afford enough cocaine or did enough cocaine to justify the owning of a coke spoon necklace. Besides, I thought they looked ridiculous. But that's one element of the story, just pointing that out, so here goes..." 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

Richard stood at the wall mirror in his New York hotel room, running a brush through his shoulder length dark hair. The band had just gotten into town for their Rumours tour and they had a day to rest and relax before the show the next night. He and Ken weren't in the band but they were still required to be at the concert since they were recording and mixing each show, something Richard had no experience doing before coming on the tour. Basically, Ken helped him out and the rest was trial and error but he was getting better at it. 

But tonight, there was only the worry of having a good time in New York with his best buddy, Ken, and trying to get into Studio 54 to see if the rumors of hedonism were true. 

He looked at the door when he heard a knock and set the hairbrush down on the dresser before going to answer it. He opened the door and Lindsey looked him over before speaking. 

"Going somewhere?," he said to Richard. 

"Yes. Ken and me are going to 54 tonight." 

"Why?," Lindsey said, drawing out the Y for a few seconds. 

”We wanna see it," Richard said with a shrug. 

"You wanna go dancing with a bunch of weirdos and drug addicts?," Lindsey said in disbelief. 

"It beats staying here with a bunch of weirdos and drug addicts." 

Lindsey considered that before nodding. 

"Soooo...no chance of coming with me to get pizza then," he said. 

"No thanks, come with us though." 

"Ugh, no. A night of dancing to crappy music holds no a ppeal for me." 

"Take Mick with you." 

"Mick's going down to Times Square with John, maybe to check out the titty bars." 

Richard hesitated a moment. 

"Take Stevie with you," he said tentatively. 

Richard's heart hurt when Lindsey gave him the same distasteful look that he had when Richard suggested he go disco dancing. 

"No," Lindsey said firmly and left it at that. 

"I don't know what to tell ya, man. I already have plans." 

"That's cool. Just checking." 

Lindsey felt someone behind him and turned to see Ken standing in the hallway, smiling at him. 

"And here is the other disco devotee," Lindsey said, nodding to him. 

"Thinking of joining us then?," Ken said to him. 

"I'd rather drink Draino but by all means boogie the night away," Lindsey replied. 

He stepped aside to let Ken in the room. He noted with amusement that Richard was dressed in a white shirt and a white polyester leisure suit with the buttons of his shirt opened to reveal his chest and a gold chain with gold medallion around his neck. White platform shoes completed the look. In contrast, Ken had on a blue t-shirt, jeans and battered white tennis shoes, which is usually what he wore. Richard looked ready for a night of disco dancing while Ken looked like he was headed to a construction site. Lindsey pointed to Ken's clothes. 

"And you think this will impress the doorman enough to get you into the club?," he said, amused. 

"You must forgive me, I left my leisure suit back in Sausalito," Ken said dryly while Lindsey snickered. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

"So did you ever own a leisure suit, Dad?," Colbie asked after reading that. 

"No. I had no interest in one," Ken said. "I wasn't a fashion victim like he was," he added, pointing to Richard. 

"Your father wore pretty much the same thing through every era. Jeans, flannel shirts, t-shirts and tennis shoes." 

"While he and Lindsey went through every dorky fashion trend there was," Ken said, pointing at Richard. 

"Lindsey more so than him, but still...he had some fashion faux pas in his past too." 

"At least that night I was dressed to get into the club, not like a guy who just saw the line of people while out for a walk and got into that line out of curiosity." 

"Yeah, I know. I wasn't dressed like a sex god like you were, get back to the story, will ya?" 

Richard winked at Colbie before he resumed typing. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

As Richard and Ken came out of the revolving door of the hotel into the warm night air, they saw Mick and John standing by the curb, smoking cigarettes and chatting. They looked at Richard and Ken when they walked up beside them. Mick grinned at John and pointed to Richard's suit.   
"Look out, Disco Dickie's on the prowl tonight," Mick crowed while John chuckled."Goin' clubbin' then?" 

"We're going to 54," Richard said. 

"We?" 

Mick looked at Ken. His eyes traveled up and down his body as he took in his clothes. 

"If you're going clubbing, why are you dressed like this?," he said, gesturing to Ken's clothes. 

"Because I don't own a leisure suit, okay?," Ken said with a loud sigh.  "This was a spur of the moment decision, to be honest." 

"Good luck getting in then, mate," Mick said to him. "I have a feeling they'll take one look at you and laugh before denying you entry." 

"Are you guys waiting on a cab?," Ken said, changing the subject. 

"No, a limo," John said. 

"Where are you going?," Richard asked. 

"Times Square to see the sights," Mick said. 

"Well, why don't you take a cab then?," Richard said. 

He inwardly sighed when Mick and John gave him an are you crazy look. Not wanting or needing to wait for a limo, he stepped to the curb and raised his arm to signal for a cab. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

Twenty minutes later, he and Ken were standing across the street from Studio 54. Already there was an enormous line that went around the large black building. At the entrance stood a large, burly, bald headed man with a clipboard who was staring off into space while people near the front tried to catch his eye and get his attention. 

"Shit," Richard said, looking at the number of people. "I'm guessing slim to none chance of getting in then." 

"Let's at least try since we're here," Ken said. "We might get lucky." 

Richard doubted that but he agreed with his friend, since they were there, they might as well try. They looked both ways before hurrying across the street. 

As they neared the line, Richard saw all kinds of people waiting there. Young, old, men, women, gay, straight and many ethnicities, all hoping for a chance to get inside. He even saw a couple of drag queens as they neared the corner of the building. Then suddenly, Ken seized his arm as they rounded the corner. 

"Fuck," he murmured. 

"What is it?," Richard said as Ken stopped abruptly. 

Ken grabbed him, turned him towards the crowd and pointed. Richard stared at a woman he was pointing at, not knowing why for a moment. Then his eyes bulged when he realized it was Cher. She was standing with a woman, chatting with her while they waited. She was dressed in a silver, sparkly evening gown with silver high heels. She was heavily made up and smoking a cigarette while she brushed her long dark hair away from her face with perfectly manicured red fingernails. What floored Richard was not only was she waiting in line like everyone else, she was around the corner and halfway up the side of the building. Richard looked at the other people to see if anyone else recognized her but apart from two openly gay men who were whispering and gesturing towards her as they stood five people behind, no one else seemed to notice or care. Richard was disheartened. If Cher was being treated like this, why chance did they have? 

Still, they walked to the back of the line, which was nearly to the corner of the back side of the building and waited. They smoked cigarettes and talked quietly, Richard thankful his friend was there as a distraction since after twenty minutes, the line had not budged an inch and there was nothing else to do. He finally glanced up at Cher and noticed she was checking her watch, a disgusted look on her face. Richard empathized completely with her. 

As he continued to speak to Ken, he felt eyes on him from somewhere. Knowing there were tons of people there, he ignored it until he saw Ken, who was standing in front of him, glance over his shoulder and stare at something. He turned around and saw two young and attractive women standing beside the line, gazing at him appreciatively. Both of them had smooth, baby faces with heavy make up on. One had long, sandy blonde hair that went down to the small of her back. The other was a brunette with red highlights in her shoulder length hair. Both of them were wearing strapless evening gowns, one black, one navy blue with matching stilettos. The blonde walked up to Richard. 

"Hello," she purred in a soft, smoky voice. 

"Hello," Richard said, flashing her his best smile. 

"What's your name, gorgeous?," the woman said. 

"Richard. Yours?" 

The woman leaned in to his face, her light blue eyes locked on his. 

"Clarice," she said seductively. "And this is my friend, Jade." 

Jade came up beside Clarice, her green eyes undressing Richard. 

"Hello," she said in a breathy, deep voice. 

"Hello," Richard said with a growl deep in his throat. 

"Are you here alone?," Clarice said, putting her hand on his chest. 

"No, this is my friend, Ken," Richard said, turning and nodding to him. 

Ken noted with annoyance that the  women looked at him like he was a piece of moldy bread before turning their attention back to Richard. 

"So...you wanna get inside?," Clarice purred to Richard as she ran her hand down his shirt. 

"We'd like to but we're back here," Richard replied. 

Another glance and Ken could tell the women wished he wasn't accompanying the object of their affections. They looked back at Richard and lust rekindled on their faces. 

"We know the doorman, he's a friend. He can get us in," Clarice purred. 

"Does that include me?" 

The women looked at Ken when he spoke. Another disdainful look and Ken felt the urge to grab the bitches by their hair and slam them into the curb. 

Still, he sensed to his satisfaction that the women realized that the boy toy wasn't going anywhere without his buddy so Clarice nodded before beckoning to him and Richard to follow them.


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter Twenty Seven

Colbie laughed while Richard took a quick break from writing. 

"God, Dad, I feel sorry for you, putting up with their disdain," she said to Ken.

"Well," Ken said while Richard chuckled, "I was peeved that the stud here was being slobbered over while I was being looked at like a dried turd but considering what we found out later about the women, I didn't feel so bad afterwards."

"You really couldn't tell they were men, Uncle Rich?"

Richard grinned and shook his head.

"I think...they were in the middle of transitioning into women but hadn't gotten rid of their equipment yet. They looked like women, talked like women, slim bodies, no Adam's apple. How about you, Ken? Could you tell?"

"No. Looked normal to me. So I agree with Rich. I think they were becoming female but hadn't finished the process yet. I don't even remember them having manly hands. They were attractive. At least they were physically. Their judgmental attitude left something to be desired."

"Did Uncle Rich always attract ladies like that?"

"Yes, indeedy, I was quite a stallion in those days."

Colbie laughed when her father shook his head emphatically at that.

"Actually, the stallion here was more like My Little Pony," he said. "Cute, cuddly and had long hair you could brush."

"Do I detect a hint of jealousy, Caillat?"

"Puh-leeze, I had my share of women too, Da-shut! You weren't the only stud in the stable."

"Course then there was Lindsey who was in a stable by himself," Richard mused as he rocked in his chair. "We had women but Lindsey had harems."

Ken snorted.

"Still does. On his side of the stage every night," he said.

Colbie listened with silent fascination to the banter going back and forth between the old friends. Even though she knew she wouldn't have liked the fighting and turmoil and drugs, she still wished she could have been alive back then, to be there and see what these men had seen instead of hearing it secondhand. She knew she could sit for hours and not say a word as she listened to their stories and never be bored. She loved reading her father's manuscript when he was working on his book. Even though some of it was technical stuff about recording Rumours, there were still lots of fascinating stories that she'd never knew about. She wished fervently she would have even half the interesting life these two men had.

She was jolted from her thoughts when Richard stretched his back and leaned up towards the computer keyboard. Eagerly, she leaned forward and kept her eyes on the screen while he resumed typing.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

After speaking with Roger, the doorman, Clarice led them through the double doors. Richard winced at the boos and curses being hurled at them by the people waiting in line, people who'd probably been waiting for an hour or more. He felt like an asshole for line jumping and he tried to push it from his mind as they walked into the main part of the club.   
Richard and Ken stopped near the multicolored lighted dance floor to take it all in. People packed the dance floor, dancing with abandon as KC and the Sunshine Band blared from the overhead speakers. A disco ball rotated overhead, throwing tiny slivers of light on the dancers and the walls. Off to the sides, people sat at circular tables, smoking, drinking, eating and doing drugs. At a nearby table, Richard saw an anorexic woman with a rubber tourniquet around her upper left arm, shooting something into her vein. A couple at another table were snorting lines of cocaine off of tiny pocket mirrors. Richard turned to Ken.

"Glad my mom doesn't know I'm here," he said over the loud music. "She definitely wouldn't approve."

"No, neither would mine," Ken yelled back.

Ken noticed the women had turned the moment they heard Richard's voice and once again the annoyed look came to their faces when they realized that Richard was paying attention to him instead of them. He relished the fact that the women were pissed off that Richard hadn't ditched him the moment they came inside.

Sorry, gals, he thought with glee, he's known me a lot longer than he's known you. 

It made him happy, knowing that Richard was a loyal friend and he silently resolved to buy him a meal in gratitude. 

The women looked around for a moment before Clarice yelled at them to wait a moment. She then left to go back to the front doors. Jade, seeing her chance, walked up to Richard and put her hand on his hairy chest. 

"Do you do drugs," she asked him.

"Some," Richard said.

"What are you into?"

"Weed, booze, occasionally cocaine."

"Acid?"

"No."

"Have you ever tried it?"

"No and I don't want to!"

Again, Ken was silently gleeful when he saw the disappointment on her face. Then she looked at him.

"How about you?," she said to Ken.

"Don't do acid, don't want to," he said.

Again, the annoyed look. Ken hoped she'd become so annoyed, she'd leave them alone. He didn't mind female companionship but not if the women were hateful, jealous bitches who were going to treat him like a third wheel. These women definitely rubbed him the wrong way. 

Clarice returned with Roger and she gestured for everyone to follow her. As they walked past the dance floor, Ken heard Jade tell her friend that he and Richard weren't interested in acid before rolling her eyes. Once more, he felt the urge to knock the women's heads into a hard surface. He didn't know if Richard had heard them until Richard slowed his pace and dropped back beside him.

"Watch em, make sure they don't spike any drinks with acid or something like that, " he said, leaning into Ken's ear.

"Don't worry, got my eye on em," Ken said into his ear. "But I think we should lose them as soon as we can."

"Yeah, me too. I don't like the way they're treating you."

Ken smiled. So Richard had noticed the looks they gave him. Even though Richard expressed an interest in them, he hadn't been blind to their disdain and he wasn't tolerating it either and once more, Ken was grateful he had a friend like him.

Roger led them to the very back of the club where there was a long hallway. The interior was as black as the outside, giving everything a funereal look to it. Doors were spaced evenly on both sides of the corridor and Roger took them to the second door on the right

Richard heard faint music behind the door but when Roger opened it, the music blasted out into the hallway. Wish You Were Here was blaring and Richard winced as he and Ken covered their ears. Roger and the women took no notice of the music as they went inside the room. Richard and Ken glanced at each other before following them inside. 

The music was coming from a stereo in the corner. Speakers were mounted in each corner along the back walls. Both the back walls and ceiling were covered with full length mirrors. There was a long, black leather couch against the back wall with two black end tables on either side of it. Along the right side of the wall were two big black leather chairs and another table was between them with a lamp and some magazines on it. And in the floor in front of them were four mattresses fit together to form a large rectangle. Richard's eyes widened when he saw the end tables and huge punch bowls filled to the brim with cocaine that were there for anyone to use. Richard had an uneasy feeling. He grabbed Ken's arm and mouthed "Leave!" to him when Ken looked his way. Ken nodded in agreement. 

They were about to go when Roger went past them, went out the door and shut it behind them. Richard and Ken looked at the women who were now looking at Richard with naked lust on their faces.

"Look, this is not my kind of scene," Richard said, holding up his hands as the women approached him. "I'd rather go back out and dance, alright?"

"Oh, don't be such a wet blanket, Ritchie, party with us," Clarice purred as she put her arms around Richard's neck. "We can have an orgy. Two men, two women."

"I'm not comfortable with that, okay?," Richard said, trying to back away from her. 

"Richard, don't be afraid to try new things," Clarice said.

"He said no, lady!"

Ken, unable to hold it in any longer, finally spoke when he saw Clarice wasn't going to back off and leave his friend alone. Clarice gave him a murderous look which Ken returned in spades.

"Fuck off, loser," Clarice said to him.

"No, he's not going anywhere," Richard growled at her.

Once again, Ken felt honored to have such a loyal friend. He sneered at Clarice when she looked at Richard in shock before glaring at him. Jade, seeing it was two against one now, walked up beside her friend and jabbed her finger in Ken's face.

"He's ruining the fun, he needs to go!," Jade said to Richard. 

Richard, his patience at an end, tried to pry Clarice's arms off his neck. Ken growled when Clarice hung on for dear life, refusing to let go. He noticed Jade was rushing to help restrain Richard and he rushed forward to defend his friend. He slammed into Jade, trying to block her from bear hugging Richard but his eyes widened in shock when his knee landed between her legs and he felt something there that was unfamiliar to him. His mouth dropped open as he realized what the foreign object was between her legs and he violently shoved Jade backwards. Jade landed with a grunt onto the mattresses and while Clarice looked over her shoulder at her friend, Ken took the opportunity to lunge forward at her. Clarice turned her head back around in time to see Ken thrust his hand up her dress and between her legs. Clarice and Ken locked eyes when she felt his hand on her balls and then Ken squeezed and pain shot through her entire body. 

She let go of Richard and he staggered back in confusion, seeing the agony on Clarice's face and hearing her scream but not knowing why. Then Jade leapt up and Richard tried to sidestep her as she lunged at him but he wasn't fast enough and she veered around and grabbed him from behind. Richard gritted his teeth, feeling her trying to pull his pants and underwear down. He twisted his body, trying to get at her while Jade kept trying to get her leg between him to trip him to the floor. Then suddenly, she screamed and dropped to the floor like a stone, her face twisted in agony. Richard was confused again as he watched her grab her crotch and roll around on the floor in torment.

"Rich, they're men, they have a penis and balls," Ken said, hurrying to his side.

Richard suddenly realized what happened to Jade. Ken had rushed up and kicked her balls from behind while Jade was moving her legs around in her attempt to get them between Richard's legs. Both women were now rolling on the floor in agony and Richard and Ken glanced at each other before they turned and ran out of the room.


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter Twenty Eight 

Colbie sat there in shock while Richard finished typing and rested. 

"I can't believe that happened to you," she said. 

"It did," Richard said. "And thanks to Ken's quick thinking, I wasn't sexually assaulted." 

"Was there ever a day when something interesting didn't happen to you guys?" 

An amused grin spread over Richard's face. 

"You think our lives were that exciting?," he teased. "Every day we jumped out of bed and had an adventure?" 

"Yes, the way you guys talk, you did," Colbie said. 

Richard chuckled. He watched as Ken scooted his chair over to the computer and Richard moved out of the way to accommodate him. 

"What are you going to write?," Richard asked him. 

"I'm going to prove to my daughter that not every day was an adventure for us," he said. 

Ken thought for a moment before he began to type. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

(September 26, 1983...) 

The clock radio buzzed on the bedside table and Ken raised his groggy head and hit the snooze button. He then flopped his head back down on the pillow and fell back to sleep. Ten minutes later, the alarm buzzed again. Ken raised his groggy head, hit the snooze button, flopped his head back down on the pillow and fell back to sleep. He did this ten more times before he finally got up and sat on the side of the bed. He stood up, scratched his ass and smacked his dry lips as he walked out of his bedroom. 

He walked to the kitchen, pulled a box of cornflakes out of the cabinet, grabbed some milk from the fridge and had a light breakfast of cornflakes and milk. When he was done, he put everything back where it belonged and scratched his ass as he walked to the bathroom. He took an enormous dump in the toilet while he thought about red Ferraris. He then wiped his butt, flushed the toilet and went back to bed because he had no album to produce. He farted and scratched his ass as he climbed into bed. He then fell asleep and slept until the next day when he found himself involved in a spy ring and stolen microfilm. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

Richard laughed hysterically as Ken gestured to his entry with both hands while he looked at his daughter. 

"See, not every day was exciting," he said to Colbie. 

"Dad, I swear you guys act like kids sometimes," Colbie said. 

"What's kidlike about this?," he said , pointing to the screen. "I had a boring day that day." 

"And an itchy ass, looks like," Richard said. 

"Yeah, well I had a bad case of psoriasis in the 80s," Ken said. 

"Okay, Dad, now write about the spy ring and the microfilm." 

"Can't. Everything is classified and ninjas will kill me if I talk." 

Richard bent over laughing when Colbie rolled her eyes at that. 

"I will, however, write about the chicken and hay practical joke if you'd like to know about that," Ken said. 

"Okay, yeah, write about that," Colbie said. 

"We're gonna be in here all night if she has her way," Richard said to Ken. 

"Can we stay the night, Dad?" 

Ken laughed when Richard's mouth dropped open. 

"I would like to sleep tonight. I am an old man now, young lady," Richard said to Colbie. 

"I know that. I didn't mean you'd write the entire night but I love hanging out with you." 

"Thank you," Richard said. 

"I love hearing you and Dad talk about the old days. I think it's cool, the kind of life you guys had." 

"And does that coolness include the drugs, turmoil, screaming, fighting and stress?," Ken said. 

"Well no, not that, but knowing famous people, producing albums, touring, traveling, stuff like that." 

"Don't you have that too, hon?," Richard said. "Apart from producing albums, which I'm sure your father will teach you in time, everything else you mentioned you've done too. Why is your life less interesting than ours?" 

"I don't know, I guess...because you've lived longer and done more. I'm still new to the music business. And you've met lots more famous people than I have." 

"Still, you shouldn't sell yourself short like that, hon," Richard said. "Every person has a story, not just people who've worked with celebrities like us. But...if you guys want to spend the night, it's okay with me and I'm sure Kong won't mind. As for my sons, I'm sure they'll be too busy playing Get Those Naked Girls on their Wii to notice you're here." 

"Get Those Naked Girls? Is that a game?," Colbie teased. 

"Probably," Richard said, shrugging. "My knowledge of video games stopped with Space Invaders, Pac Man and Donkey Kong. I've no idea what they play nowadays unless I happen to see one of the game cases. But from what I've heard and seen them play, the games involve nonstop shooting, killing, looting and half dressed women so I can see why they're addicted to the stuff. But anyway, let me go ask Kong about the two of you staying tonight since I wasn't around for the first part of the prank. Caillat, no porn and don't get any viruses on my computer." 

"Okay, I'll be sure to do both then," Ken said. 

Richard gave him a playful punch on the shoulder before he stood up. Ken and Colbie watched him leave the room. 

"He's someone I'll hate to lose when he dies," Colbie said quietly. 

"So will I. Provided I don't go first."

He smiled when Colbie stood up, walked over and put her arms around his neck. Ken smiled and kissed her cheek. 

"I wish sometimes I'd had you earlier in my life so you'd have me longer before I go on to the afterlife but you know, I could live to be 100 or more and so could Richard and you'd be in your 60s then." 

"I hope so, Dad. I hope you both live a long time because I love you and Uncle Rich so much." 

"I love you too, Colb. I've produced a lot of things but you are by far my greatest production." 

He patted her arm and rubbed it when she hugged him tighter. He glanced towards the door and looked at Colbie. 

"Better start the story then," he said. 

Colbie and nodded and sat back down. Just then, Richard entered the room carrying a large mixing bowl filled with potato chips and three bottles of Coke tucked in the crook of his left arm. 

"Kong says it's okay with her. Diane said she'll stay a bit and then go home and she said to give her a call when you're ready to leave and she'll come pick you up. I also got some snacks for us while we're doing this." 

He passed out the Cokes and put the bowl on a TV tray between him and Ken. Colbie moved her chair so she was behind the tray where she could reach the chips and still see the screen. 

"You didn't start yet?," Richard said after noticing the blank screen. 

"No. Colb was talking about how much she loves us and will miss us terribly when we die." 

Richard's heart melted at that and he got up, leaned over and kissed Colbie's cheek, telling her thanks for loving a decrepit old fart while Ken smiled. He sat back down while Ken thought. 

"So...pranks were kinda the norm for us back then," he said to Colbie. "As they were in a lot of rock bands." 

"Not to mention destructive behavior," Richard said. 

"Like trashing hotel rooms?," Colbie said. 

"Yeah. But that didn't happen with Fleetwood Mac as often as...say, Zeppelin or The Who," Ken said. "No one in the Mac was in the same league as, you know, Keith Moon but there still was a bit of trashing on their part." 

"Not you guys though?" 

"Eh, some," Richard said with a shrug. "But only when we were as drunk as everyone else but still, there wasn't TVs thrown out of windows and stuff like that, even when we were drunk off our ass." 

"What I'm about to write was an infantile thing to do and no one would do it now but we were young and stupid and some of the band members acted like inconsiderate pricks towards hotel staff. But...we had a tour manager called John Courage who has since passed on. He'd been with the Mac a long time and everyone treated him liked one of the family. So when it came time for his birthday, John came up with what he thought was a brilliant idea at the time. So as the story opens, we were on the Tusk tour and staying on the 10th floor of a very nice hotel."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

Ken stepped out of the steamy bathroom and let out a big yawn. He'd just finished taking a shower and he was relaxed and ready to lie in bed and maybe watch a little TV. They were currently on the American leg of their Tusk tour and were staying at the Saint Francis in San Francisco. As before on the Rumours tour, he and Richard came along with the band to record and mix the live shows. Richard and Stevie had gone out to eat at a nearby restaurant. Lindsey was at a nightclub and John Courage was out, walking and taking a brief tour of the city. Everyone else was inside their rooms resting. 

Ken sat down on the far side of the bed near the phone. He was trying to decide on room service when someone knocked on his door. Ken groaned as he stood up and walked to the door. He opened it and Mick smiled at him. 

"Evening, mate," he said cheerfully. 

"Evening, Mick, what's up?" 

"I need your help or rather John and I do." 

"Okay..." 

"You know it's JC's birthday, yeah?" 

"Yes, I did. Why? Are you planning to surprise him with a party when he gets back?" 

"Well, we're surprising him but not with a party." 

Ken didn't like the sound of that. He asked Mick to elaborate but Mick told him to follow him and see for himself. Ken went to the nightstand, grabbed his key and locked the door before following Mick. Mick led him down the hall to a service elevator. Ken looked through a tiny glass window in the wide steel door of the elevator and saw John standing there. 

"how did John get in there? I thought this was just for staff." 

"It is. But we bribed a maintenance worker on the ground floor to let us use it. Because of this..." 

He grabbed a steel door handle on the right side and slid the door open. Surrounding John was several crates packed with clucking white hens along with two roosters and two huge, rectangular bales of hay. Ken's mouth fell open. 

"What the fuck is this?," he said to Mick while he pointed to the chickens and hay bales. 

"This is JC's surprise," Mick said. "We're gonna put all this in his room and wait for him to come back. So will you help us carry it?" 

"Wait. Where the hell did you find this stuff?," Ken said. 

"We hired a pickup truck and located a farm outside the city. We paid the farmer generously for twenty six chickens, two roosters and two bales of hay."

"And what are you going to do with the twenty six chickens, two roosters and two bales of hay once the joke is finished?" 

"Well...I suppose the kitchen can use the chickens. The hay bales...I suppose someone could find a use for them as well. So will you help us?" 

Ken nodded. He, Mick and John carried three crates containing the chickens and the two bales of hay down to John Courage's room. Everyone gave Mick a spare key to their room when they checked in, in case of emergency, so Mick had no trouble getting in the room. They set up the crates and bales around the room and when they were done, Mick and John thanked Ken and he walked back to his room, loose straw sticking to him. He changed out of his straw covered clothes once he was inside his room and put on fresh ones. By this time, the exertion of moving everything had made him hungry and he ordered a cheeseburger, French fries and Coke from room service. 

He was in the middle of eating his meal while he sat on his bed and watched TV when he heard "SON OF A BITCH!" outside in the hall. 

"I see JC found his surprise," Ken muttered as he got up from the bed. 

He walked to the door, hearing Mick and John's hysterical laughter out in the hall. He opened the door and stepped outside. Not only was he out in the hall but Robin Anderson, who was staying in the room across from John Courage, was now in the hall too, looking into JC's room with her mouth dropping nearly to the floor. 

"You guys are such pricks," John Courage said while John and Mick leaned on each other, howling with laughter. "I don't know how you got this shit in here but get it out now!" 

"Aw, come on, Johnny, just a joke for your birthday. We'll clean up the mess," Mick said. "Promise." 

Robin shook her head and walked down the hall to Ken. Ken smiled at her as she came close to him. 

"I swear these guys can be so immature sometimes," she said. "They better not do that on my birthday or I'll clobber them. Did you know about this?" 

"Well, I did help them carry it in but that's my only contribution to it. I didn't know they were doing it till Mick asked me to help carry it from the service elevator. Don't think less of me because I helped." 

Robin chuckled. 

"Nah. I get that they pranked him because they're like brothers. I just hope they clean up the mess and don't leave it for the maids." 

Ken nodded, hoping the same. It wasn't fair for the maids to clean up the mess, especially since chickens and hay were things they didn't deal with on a daily basis. Robin and Ken watched while Mick, John and JC laughed and joked about his room before Robin shrugged. 

"Men. Go figure. Anyway, I'm going down to the bar to get a drink, you wanna come?" 

"No, I'm eating supper here," Ken said, showing her the trolley in front of his bed. 

"Oh okay, enjoy your meal then. Talk to you later." 

"Later, Robin." 

Robin wished him goodnight and walked towards the elevator while Ken went back inside and shut his door. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

Ken finished his meal, wheeled the trolley over near the door to get it out of the way. He then turned the TV on, propped his head up on his pillows and relaxed. He was watching Taxi on TV when he heard a commotion out in the hallway. He listened carefully. He heard Mick speaking and the clucking of the chickens. 

"Careful, mates, don't let them out on the lift before the doors close," he heard Mick say. 

"Now what's going on?," Ken muttered as he got up from his bed. 

He walked over, opened the door and went out. He froze in the hallway when he saw Mick, John and John Courage loading the crates of chickens into the passenger elevator. What stunned him was Mick was using the back of a hammer to pry open the front of the crates just enough for the overcrowded chickens to loosen the boards with their bodies and escape. After Mick did this, he and John put the crate in the elevator. John Courage stood inside the elevator helping them load the cargo on. 

"Hurry guys, they're nearly free," John Courage said, glancing over his shoulder. 

"You've gotta be kidding me!" 

The three men looked his way when they heard Ken speak. Ken shook his head. 

"You can't be serious," Ken said as John took the hammer from Mick and worked on the last crate. "You're not gonna turn those chickens loose in the hotel." 

"For a laugh," Mick said. 

"May be a laugh to you but it won't be a laugh to the staff who have to catch them." 

Mick shrugged and Ken shook his head at them. He wasn't above playing pranks but he only played pranks on his friends, not hotel staff who weren't being paid to deal with a band's irrational behavior. He was disgusted with what he was seeing but he knew he couldn't stop them. As he watched the last crate being loaded on to the elevator and heard Mick telling them to give a quick tug to all the loose boards, he sighed angrily, turned and went into his room, praying they wouldn't be thrown out of the hotel. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

Colbie shook her head while Ken switched seats with Richard so he could take over. 

"This is stupid, this prank of theirs goes beyond childish," Colbie said. "Especially putting the chickens on the elevator so they'd escape. They really didn't care that the staff would have to catch these chickens?" 

"No, they didn't care," Ken said. "They just wanted to laugh at their so-called cleverness. And you couldn't tell them anything back then. Once they got an idea in their heads, there was no stopping them. I knew that, which is why I just went back in my room." 

"And now it's where you came in, Uncle Rich?" 

"Yes. Like Ken wrote, Stevie and me were at a restaurant. After the breakup with Lindsey, I became a confidant. She had lovers but I don't think she confided in them like she did with me and it's because she knew me before the Mac. So when Lindsey became emotionally distant, she leaned on me for friendship and support. Which I didn't mind but it did break my heart that Lindsey was never there for her unless they wanted sex. Sex, she got from him, support and camaraderie she got from me. But anyway, at the time of this incident, we were just returning to the hotel." 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

Richard stepped out of the cab after paying and tipping the driver. He held the door open for Stevie and she thanked the driver as she got out. When she was out, Richard thanked the driver and closed the door. They walked towards the hotel entrance as the cab pulled away. 

"Do you wanna get a quick drink in the bar before we go up?," Stevie said to Richard as they walked inside. 

"Yeah, I can do that," Richard said as they headed towards the bar on the right side of the hotel. 

They could hear music coming from the doorway but the lights were dim and they couldn't see much from the outside. 

"So are you ready for the show tomorrow night?," Richard asked. 

"I suppose but I'm getting tired of Lindsey's bullshit," Stevie said as they entered and headed to the bar at the back. 

"Is he bothering you again?," Richard asked. 

"Sometimes. He keeps bringing up his relationship with Carol Ann and taunting me about it. He hates the people I date but he has no problem bragging about his lovers to me. Coors please, in a bottle" she said to the bartender when they reached the bar and sat down on.the bar stools. 

"Coors for me too, also in a bottle," Richard added. "I've noticed his behavior too, Stevie, but he's also spoke ill of Carol Ann when she's not around," he said to her while the bartender left to get the beers. 

"Speaking I'll?" 

"Yeah. Criticizing her, taunting her, being an ass. If Carol Ann knew what he said about her in private, I doubt she'd be eager to climb on his lap." 

"Well, well, look what the cat dragged in." 

Richard turned on his bar stool and saw Robin behind him. 

"Hey Rob, didn't see you, coming inside," Richard said. 

"I was in the bathroom," Robin said before walking around him to sit on Stevie's other side. "Did you have a nice time eating out?" 

"Yeah, we settled on pizza though," Stevie said. "It was a cozy little pizza place with good pizza but I got recognized a couple of times and gave a few autographs while we ate." 

"I didn't get recognized at all, that makes me sad," Richard said, feigning despair as he hung his head. 

Stevie giggled and patted his head. 

"Poor Richard. You just never get any respect," she said. 

"I know," Richard said with exaggerated pouting. 

The bartender put their open bottles of beer in front of them. Richard thanked him and took a sip while Robin ordered a whisky from the bartender. The three of them chitchatted for a few minutes when suddenly they heard yelling out in.the lobby. They looked towards the entrance while the bartender walked over and looked with them. They saw the desk staff running towards the elevator. Then Richard swore he heard chickens clucking in the lobby. 

"Oh shit, they didn't..." Robin said. 

"Who didn't? Didn't what?," Stevie asked Robin. 

Then a flock of chickens ran by the entrance. Robin groaned and cursed while the others stared at the frantic chickens in a dumbfounded silence. 

"Now there's something you don't see every day," Richard finally said. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

"And so me, Stevie and Robin witnessed the massive chicken stampede after the elevator doors opened," Richard said, turning to Colbie. 

"I cannot believe your friends did that. How long did it take to round them all up?" 

"About three hours," Richard said. "I talked to a woman who worked at the desk the next morning and she told me that. Plus, they tried to find a way to pin them up at first, since the crates were open and they couldn't shove each chicken in the crate and keep them there. They finally had to call in animal control to help and they brought a bunch of cage traps and got them that way. But it took a lot of time and effort and coordination to get the chickens all rounded up. Plus, no one could use the elevator for awhile because of the crates inside it along with the loose feathers and chicken poo. They also had to clean and disinfect the inside of the elevator so the three of us got to take the stairs all the way up to the tenth floor. So Mick and John's cute little birthday prank ended up causing disruption and inconvenience for a lot of people. And even though the staff didn't call the cops on us, we were never allowed back to that hotel and it was a nice hotel too." 

"That's terrible. Did Mick or John feel bad about it, ever?" 

Richard looked at Ken. Ken shook his head. 

"I never heard them express remorse then or now," Ken said. 

"Me neither," Richard said, looking at Colbie. "I don't think they cared and I'm not sure JC did either. They thought it was funny, even when they found out me, Stevie and Robin had to climb ten flights of stairs because we couldn't use the elevator. Mick, John and JC could be sweet and caring but they could also be callous assholes and look down on people who weren't wealthy and famous like them." 

"What about Stevie and Lindsey and Chris?," Colbie said. "Did they act like that?" 

"Lindsey, yes, he could be a huge ass when he wanted to be," Ken said. "Stevie could at times but not as much as the men and unlike Mick, John and Lindsey, she'd worked as a waitress so she had compassion for people in the service industry. She never would have pulled a stunt like that and sat back and laughed at the staff's misery. And Chris, never! Chris is a sweetie. She's the nicest one of the bunch, I think. She would never, ever do something like that, even when she was as drunk as she used to be. That's one of the reasons she divorced John, she got tired of his childish, boorish behavior." 

"As for me, I would do it in a heartbeat. Although, I wouldn't use chickens. I'd use cougars or hornets or maybe even elephants, things that can do real damage." 

Colbie laughed while Richard winked at her and popped a chip into his mouth.


	30. Chapter 30

Chapter Twenty Nine 

"So...what should we write next since we have an oh, so fascinating life," Richard said to Ken. 

"Could write about our bowel movements. How much, size, color. The doctor makes me drink prune juice every day, you know." 

"Really? Because I swear by Metamucil. I find it cleans out the plumbing quiet nicely." 

"Are you guys being serious or are you kidding?" 

Richard looked at her. 

"I'm being a bit serious. I do have some old people problems. I'm not a spring chicken, you know." 

"Did you ever think you'd get to the age you are now?," Colbie asked. 

"Age I am now?," Richard said. "Do you mean, did I think I'd ever live to be this old?" 

"Yeah. And did being old seem a long way off when you were young?" 

"Well yeah, I mean, when you're in your twenties, sixty five seems ancient," Richard said with a shrug. "And 2017 seemed far, far away. Bit as you age, you learn that time goes a lot faster than you think. As for did I ever think I'd live to be this old? Um...considering all I did to my body back then, it is a bit of a shock that I am sixty five and in as good a health as I'm in. I do have the bad back now but that's it." 

"I'm not as slim as I used to be but I'm also in fairly good health and no, I thought it'd take forever to reach seventy. And yeah, with everything I did to myself, I'm surprised I lived this long too. But not as surprised as I am about Stevie. She did far more damage to herself than we did," Ken said while Richard nodded in agreement. "She's the one I'm surprised made it to old age." 

"Can you write something about her and Lindsey?" 

"Like what?," Richard asked Colbie. 

"What about...when they joined Fleetwood Mac, were you around then?" 

"Yes. Actually, by then they were living with me instead of me living with them. After Buckingham Nicks was released, they thought they were on their way and for a moment, they were successful. They made some money and by that time, I was making more than enough to support myself. So it was decided that we would go our separate ways. I moved out and got an apartment of my own. But then Polydor dropped them without warning and one day I found them standing on my doorstep, asking if they could move in with me. I couldn't refuse them, they'd been so nice to me. The only problem was I was living in a two bedroom apartment and I was in the bigger bedroom and Stevie ordered me out of it so she and Lindsey could have it." 

"Wait, she ordered you out of your bedroom in your own apartment?,'" Colbie said, shocked. 

Ken chuckled while Richard nodded. 

"As Lindsey told me, what Stevie wants, Stevie gets," Richard said while Ken grinned and nodded emphatically. "I was a bit of a pushover back then, I wouldn't be bullied like that nowadays." 

"Did you hear them making love through the wall?," Colbie asked. 

She laughed when Richard feigned a deer in the headlights look for a moment before he held up a finger and began to type something. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

Richard lay in his bed and sighed. For the past hour, there'd been a steady thump, thump, thump coming from the bedroom beside him. Thankfully, their bed was not against the wall his bed was resting against but still, the walls were paper thin and the thumps sounded like they were right in his room. Add to that, the moans, groans and Stevie and Lindsey yelling each other's names and it was enough to make Richard wanna go get a prostitute and bring her back so he could give them a taste of their own medicine. Finally, he couldn't take it anymore. 

"JESUS CHRIST, I'D ASK YOU TWO TO GO GET A ROOM, EXCEPT YOU'RE ALREADY IN A ROOM!," Richard bellowed. 

Immediately, the noise ceased next door. Richard lay there and listened but no further noise came and he sighed in relief as he turned on his side and shut his eyes. Then he heard his door creak open and he opened his eye and saw Stevie. She was sticking her head into the room as she held the door half open. At first, Richard thought she'd come to apologize for the noise but instead, she beckoned to him. Richard opened his other eye and looked at her crooked finger while she continued to beckon to him. 

"What? What is it?," Richard said. 

"Come here," Stevie said. "Come with me." 

Richard was confused but he got out of bed and went to the door. He stepped out and was shocked when Stevie was standing there completely naked. She beckoned to him again and Richard followed her into her bedroom. Lindsey was lying in bed with the covers pulled up to his midsection. His arm was behind his head and he was smiling at Richard. 

"Lay down," Stevie said, pointing to the bed, "beside Lindsey." 

"Stevie, what is this?," Richard said. 

"Just do it," Stevie said. 

Richard got in the bed and lay next to Lindsey, painfully aware from lifting the covers that Lindsey was naked too. Once he was inside, Stevie got in beside him, crowding the bed. 

"So...," Stevie said as they lay there together, "we can begin the three way." 

"WHAT?," Richard said, jerking up to a sitting position. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

Ken roared with laughter after he read that. 

"Wait, is this real?," Ken said while Colbie giggled. "You never told me they did this to you!" 

"They made me lay in bed between them while they were naked and then told me we were gonna have a three way and you wonder why I never mentioned this to you?" 

"Did you have a three way, Uncle Rich?" 

"Hell no!," Richard said while Ken and Colbie laughed. "That wasn't the point of this scenario. The point was it was their sarcastic way of responding to my comment that they were too noisy. Trust me, after they had a laugh, they let me go back to my room. But Stevie did apologize the next morning when we were up readying ourselves for work. She did feel bad that I was kept awake and she had no idea they'd been that loud. They toned it down after that. But yes, I did hear their lovemaking." 

Richard suddenly had a thought. 

"Speaking of Stevie's job...she'd quit the hostess job she'd had after Buckingham Nicks was released, thinking she wouldn't have to work. But after it flopped, she didn't go back there, she found work at a 1920s theme restaurant called Clementines. As part of her job, she had to dress like a flapper and..." 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

Richard sat with Lindsey on the sofa. It was the weekend and Richard had a day off. Lindsey had decided to get up early to work on new songs and see Stevie off to work. Stevie had to dress like a flapper and both men were amused by that. 

Finally, Stevie came out of the bedroom. She was wearing a black  flapper dress, nylon stockings, black dress shoes and she wore a black headband across her forehead with a black feather sticking up out of it. She eyed her lover and friend when they snickered at her. 

"Where you off to, Stevie? A Charlie Chaplin film festival?," Richard said.   
"Shut up, Richard," Stevie said. 

"No, she's going to a jazz club and listen to that naughty jazz music," Lindsey said. 

Richard let out a melodramatic gasp while Stevie rolled her eyes. 

"No, not that," Richard said, putting the back of his fist against his forehead. "Anything but jazz. No, no, a thousand times no." 

The men giggled when Stevie flipped them off. 

"Better watch it, Steves, someone might foreclose on the apartment while you're gone and Richard and me might be forced out into the blizzard while the villain twirls his mustache and laughs." 

"Or Stevie might be tied to the train tracks by the same villain and we might have to untie her before the train runs her over." 

"Bye, guys, I'm leaving now!," Stevie called over her shoulder as she walked to the front door. 

She sighed when the two men hummed The Charleston loudly while she walked out the door.


	31. Chapter 31

Chapter Thirty 

"You guys are so cruel. I'm surprised Stevie didn't change jobs to stop you from making fun of her," Colbie said. 

"Eh, she really was a good sport about it. We teased her out of love. But she was glad to leave there once Fleetwood Mac came calling. And speaking of, you requested my take on the day they were asked to join. But...I'll go back a bit before that moment because I was also at Sound City when Mick discovered them. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

"Thanks, man," Keith said as Richard handed him a cold bottle of beer. 

Richard sat down beside him at the mixing board, beer in his own hand. He took a sip of it, letting the cold brew slide down his throat. 

"So, what are we doing today?," Richard asked him. 

"Got an Englishman coming in to check out the studio. Maybe to record here. Mick Fleetwood. You've heard of him?" 

"Yes. I have a few of Fleetwood Mac's albums. They're great." 

"Well, we might produce their new album so keep your fingers crossed." 

Richard was excited. He wasn't that much of a blues fan but in recent years, the band had become less bluesy, especially since Christine McVie joined them. He'd met several famous people but this was the first time he'd meet someone he was a fan of, aside from meeting Paul at Micky's party. 

He and Keith made small talk and drank beers, waiting for Mick to show up. Finally, after a half hour, the receptionist opened the door and showed Mick in. Keith and Richard stood up and walked over to him. The first thing Richard noticed was how tall Mick was. He'd seen photos of him before but the man was a giant in real life. Mick shook their hands and looked around the studio. 

"It's a nice studio, mate," Mick said, nodding. 

"Thank you," Keith said, "Sound City is one of the best studios in LA. I think you'll be happy here. But as for introductions, I'm Keith Olsen and this is my assistant engineer, Richard Dashut." 

"Mick Fleetwood, nice to meet ya." 

"If you'd like to hear the quality of our sound system, I'll be happy to demonstrate it for you," Keith said. 

Mick nodded. He walked over to the soundboard with Keith. Keith sat down and Mick took Richard's seat. Richard asked Mick if he wanted a beer and Mick nodded. Keith worked the controls on the soundboard while Richard got a beer out of the mini fridge. As he stood up, he heard the beginning of Frozen Love coming through the studio speakers and he smiled. He didn't know if Keith's choice of the song was intentional or not but he loved that Keith had chosen his friends' song to demonstrate their studio's capabilities. He made a mental note to tell Lindsey and Stevie about it when he saw them. 

He handed Mick the beer after opening it. Mick thanked him and Richard stood behind the Englishman, drinking his own beer while he listened to his friends harmonize during the song. Mick calmly sipped his beer, not showing any emotion until Lindsey's guitar solo at the end. Richard suddenly saw Mick sit up straight and alert and he could tell he was listening intently to Lindsey's virtuoso guitar playing. 

"Bloody Hell, that bloke is good. Who is that?," Mick said to Keith while he pointed to the speakers. 

"His name is Lindsey Buckingham," Keith said. 

"Is he in a band?" 

"No, he's a part of a singing duo with his girlfriend. They're called Buckingham Nicks." 

"Are they successful?" 

"No. They have one album which Richard and me produced but it got dropped by the record label before it could go anywhere." 

Mick nodded, deep in thought. The song ended and Keith stopped the tape. He looked at Mick expectantly. Mick nodded. 

"I like it, mate. I like the studio and the sound quality is excellent. I may be able to use you. However, this bloke, Lindsey, is there a way I can get in touch with him?" 

"Well, Richard actually lives with them. Rich, could you give him the phone number to your house?" 

"Yes, I can," Richard said, containing his excitement. 

As he went to get a pen and paper, he was thrilled. Mick liked Lindsey's guitar playing. Maybe he was planning to use Lindsey as a session musician on Fleetwood Mac's next album. He hoped so, his friend could use the work. He located a pen and some paper, wrote down the number and gave it to Mick. Mick thanked him and pocketed the slip of paper. He then stood up and thanked the men for their time before he left the studio. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

"And so the wheels of destiny were set in motion," Ken said dramatically while Richard rested, ate a couple of chips and sipped his soda. 

"And when Mick met Lindsey and Stevie, the heavens opened up and the angels sang!" 

"And Ken Caillat thus found steady employment forever more and God saw it and it was good!," Richard said while Colbie giggled. 

"But that's really how Mick met Lindsey and Stevie?," she said. 

"Well, it was the beginning. They wouldn't meet face to face for several days but this is the first time he heard of Lindsey," Richard said, pointing to the computer screen. 

"And you met them later, Dad?" 

"Yeah. I didn't meet them until after they made their first album together when we did a live recording of them on the King Biscuit Flower Hour. My studio threw in free mixing along with the recording and yours truly was picked to do the mixing. That's when I met the band." 

"And he called Stevie, Lindsey because of me," Richard said, rolling his eyes. 

"Well, Stevie does sound like a boy's name," Colbie said. 

"Yes. Which is why whoever labeled their photo on the back of their album made the same mistake. That's why I made that error. I didn't know who they were and since they were hot at the time, I didn't want to appear ignorant so I studied the photo on the back of the album and memorized the names. So when I first met them, I walked right up to Stevie and said "Lindsey, its a pleasure, love your work."" 

"At which point, Stevie screamed "I'M STEVIE, DAMN IT!" before she let out a Zulu war cry, jumped on him and beat the crap outta him." 

"Nyuk nyuk, very witty, Dashut," Ken said dryly while Colbie laughed. "He neglected..." 

"to tell him Lindsey and Stevie's names because I was a doofus with Alzheimer's, yeah, yeah, yeah," Richard said, rolling his eyes. "I'll be hearing this accusation until I die and then he'll have it carved on my tombstone so people 5,000 years from now will know my crime. But anyway, back to the story. I got home that night and told Lindsey and Stevie about the meeting." 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

Stevie and Lindsey sat together on the sofa, snuggling together while Richard described the day's events. 

"That's great but I've never heard of Fleetwood Mac before," Stevie said. "Linds?" 

"No, I haven't either. Are they pop, rock..." 

"Blues." 

"Blues?," Lindsey said. "No wonder I never heard of them. Never been much of a blues fan." 

"Me neither but in recent years, they've moved away from straight blues to more of a soft rock sound. So you might be able to do that, Lindsey. And if he likes you, maybe he'll keep using you as a session musician." 

"That's great but I wanna be more in life than a session musician," Lindsey said, making a face. 

"But it's work, Lindsey," Stevie said. "It'll pay the bills while we work on our career." 

"That's true," Lindsey said, nodding. 

"If you guys wanna hear them, I have a couple of their albums," Richard said. 

"Yeah. I wanna hear what they sound like," Stevie said. 

Richard nodded. He went into his room and waded through his stuff, dirty clothes and recording equipment to get to a cardboard box containing his record collection. He went through it, found his copies of Then Play On and Mystery To Me and went back into the living room. He put Mystery To Me on the turntable of their stereo and sat back down. They sat there and listened to the album. 

"Who's the woman? I like her voice," Stevie asked Richard. 

"Christine McVie. She's married to John, the bass player." 

"I like her singing," Stevie said. 

They listened to both albums and when they were done, Stevie looked at Lindsey. 

"I think you could be a session musician for them, Linds. Maybe this Mick guy will call." 

Lindsey nodded and kissed her cheek. 

"I'll let you guys know if Keith hears anything," Richard said. 

"Good because working for Mick could be a step in the right direction," Stevie said. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

Richard paused in his typing when he heard Ken chuckling. 

"What?," Richard said to him. "Why are you laughing?" 

"Just thinking of the irony of Stevie's words. Not that meeting Mick wasn't a step in the right direction but it was also a step in the wrong direction considering what happened to their relationship after the fact." 

"Yeah but their relationship was already headed for the scrap heap, Fleetwood Mac just put the final nail in the coffin." 

"Hence the irony," Ken said. 

"Hence?," Richard said while Colbie giggled. "Ooo, listen to you with that fancy posh talk. You really are a writer, Caillat." 

"Scoot," Ken said, gesturing for Richard to get up. 

"Oh no, now what?," Richard muttered as he stood up. 

He switched seats with Ken, slumping down in the chair while Ken sat primly in his. Colbie laughed as Ken moved around in the seat, pretending to position himself before cracking his knuckles and positioning his fingers over the keys. 

"And now, Colbie, my dear, I shall show you how a real author writes," he said in a pompous voice while Richard rolled his eyes. 

Flexing his fingers over the keys, he began to type. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

Stevie sat on the couch in mortal terror, her bountiful bosom heaving with every frightened breath she took. In front of her stood a crazed Richard Dashut, a lunatic who had just escaped from the loony asylum and had found sanctuary inside her home. 

"No, what are you going to do to me?," Stevie said, her voice quavering with either fear or anticipation, one of the two. 

"I am going to ravage you to within an inch of your life, my dear," Richard said with a lusty look in his eyes. "Now you will service me and be my slave!" 

"No, no, a thousand times, no! I would rather die than service a maniac such as yourself!," 

"Ah, but you will service me or I will barbecue your doggy!," Richard said, pointing to Ginny. 

"No, you fiend, you heartless monster! I will never submit!" 

"Ah, but you will submit and you will do so willingly or the doggy becomes a rack of ribs!" 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

"Are you enjoying yourself, Caillat?," Richard said while Colbie laughed hysterically. "I'd really like to get back to my story and not read your story about me being some sex crazed maniac rapist who wants to screw Stevie and barbecue her dog." 

"Just a moment, I'm getting to the climax," Ken said, holding up his hand. 

Colbie laughed harder when Richard looked at her and rolled his eyes. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

Richard slowly walked towards Stevie, his eyes undressing her moments before his hands would. Stevie whimpered in fear, even though she was kinda aroused at the same time because the man did have long fabulous hair like a horse's mane and a kind of Fu Manchu type mustache that was popular back then and looked good on Richard, much more than the dumb beard and mullet look he had in the late '80s when he musta been high on drugs and didn't own a mirror and..." 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

"Get on with it, Ken!," Richard said while Colbie bent over laughing. "Quit picking apart my fashion sense and finish this stupid story so I can finish up the actual story I was working on." 

"Okay, okay," Ken said.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Suddenly the door burst open with a sound like thunder and a trumpet fanfare sounded as Lindsey "Hot Buns" Buckingham burst into the room. 

"Unhand that woman, you vile blaggart," Lindsey said, thrusting his guitar playing finger at the shocked Richard. 

"MY LOVE, YOU'VE COME TO RESCUE ME!" 

"Yes, my nookie cookie, it is I, your honey bunny. I have come to save thee!" 

xxxxxxcxxxxxxxxxxxx 

"Okay, stop, stop," Richard said while Colbie laughed uncontrollably. "Give me back my seat, Hemingway." 

"But I'm just getting to the sword fight!" 

"UP!" 

Colbie laughed as Ken threw up his hands and feigned exasperation before he got up and let Richard have his seat back.


	32. Chapter 32

Chapter Thirty One 

"So anyway, now that that's over with," Richard said while Colbie continued to giggle."Honestly, Caillat, is that how you wrote your book? Because I'm shocked it sold any copies." 

"Well, I did embellish a little in my little story here," Ken said, pointing to the screen. "I mean, I did exaggerate a bit when I said you threatened to barbecue the dog. The other stuff is straight recollection." 

"Why I'm still sane after being around you all these years is beyond me," Richard said, shaking his head. "Anyway, now that I'm back in my seat. Mick didn't make the call for several days but he knew he'd need another guitar player because Bob Welch was about to leave the band. That's why he was so interested in Lindsey and only Lindsey, Stevie was an afterthought. He didn't get Lindsey without her." 

"What about you?," Colbie said. 

"What about me?," Richard said, confused. 

"Lindsey should have said you were part of the group and you could have been in Fleetwood Mac." 

Richard gave her a bemused smile while Ken chuckled. 

"First off, I can't sing my way out of a paper bag and my guitar playing is passable, at least compared to Lindsey's. Secondly, Mick was looking for a guitarist, not a whole frickin' choir. He barely agreed to let Stevie join, let alone little tone deaf me." 

"Besides, he did join the band in a way," Ken said. "At least for awhile." 

"Yes, Ken and me were the hidden members. We worked behind the scenes to make them sound good." 

"Did you ever think of putting fart noises in the songs or cursing really softly in the background," Colbie said. 

Ken chuckled while Richard raised his eyebrow. He turned to look at his friend. 

"Loving you," he sang, "is it the right thing to do, while "pbbbbt, damn it" is heard softly in the background. I'm assuming that's what she means. Unless she means backmasking. In which case we could have backmasked I eat poop for Satan onto Dreams." 

"Or...," Ken said while Colbie giggled, "you saying in a deep voice, I am Satan's whore when you play Songbird backwards." 

"I bugger goats if you play Oh, Daddy backwards," Richard said with a shrug. 

"Stevie eats her tits, Silver Springs backwards." 

"Lindsey eats Stevie's tits too, Gold Dust Woman," Richard said. "Damn, why didn't we think of backmasking? We could have had some real fun with that." 

"Until someone found something and we were pulled into a meeting by the band and forced to explain why Christine is a raging slut was backmasked onto The Chain." 

The two men grinned when Colbie was now laughing hysterically. 

"I mean, that is what you're talking about, right?," Richard said to Colbie. 

"Sorta," Colbie said between giggles. 

"Sorta?," Richard said. "What? Do you mean the two of us scream "F-YOU" in the middle of a song so everyone would know it's us?" 

"No, do it quietly, in the background." 

"Hon, the band did listen to the tracks too," Ken said. "If they were listening and heard Rich and me muttering "titties" in the background, we'd been fired and thrown out. So I think it was in our best interest not to curse and fart during the songs. Not to mention, Warner Brothers wouldn't have been thrilled either since we wasted time and money putting obscene things on a perfectly good track." 

"And our engineering reps would have been utterly destroyed and you would have spent your childhood living on Skid Row, begging for money so your dad could get his daily bottle of Everclear." 

"While Richard would have been whoring himself so he could get Nyquil or hand sanitizer." 

"Wait, why would I resort to drinking those?," Richard said while Colbie laughed. 

"You're ugly and you'd only get pennies at a time so you couldn't afford real booze?" 

Ken ducked when Richard tried to swat his head. 

"Anyway, back to writing since this conversation has taken a bizarre turn," Richard said while Ken winked at his giggling daughter. 

"So...a few days later Lindsey received a call from Mick while I was at work. After the call, Stevie called me to tell me the news." 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

Richard and Keith sat side by side mixing a track when they heard the door opening behind them. They turned their head and saw the receptionist looking in at them. 

"Sorry but Richard, phone call from Stevie for you," she said. 

"Go ahead, Rich, I got it," Keith said. 

Richard nodded, got up and followed the receptionist to the front desk. He picked up the phone receiver while the receptionist sat back down. 

"Stevie, everything okay?," he said, hoping it wasn't bad news. 

"Everything's fine, Rich. We have some good news," Stevie said. 

"Really? Let's have it." 

"Mick Fleetwood called us and wanted Lindsey to join the band." 

"Join the band? Not just be a session musician?," Richard said, thrilled. 

"No. Join the band and he told Mick to take me too or he wouldn't do it." 

"Oh my God, that's wonderful news. I knew good things would happen for you guys." 

"Well, we haven't said yes yet." 

Richard froze. 

"What, why?," he said, not sure he heard that right. 

"Because I wanna be sure the band is right for us, Rich. We have our own sound and we don't want to lose ourselves in this band." 

"Okay, that makes sense," Richard said, nodding. 

"Rich, do they have any other albums besides the two you played us?" 

"Yeah, they have several," he said. 

"I had this idea to go and get the other albums and listen to them with Lindsey before we make a final decision. I mean, this means giving up Buckingham Nicks and I wanna be sure it's the right decision." 

"I agree with that. But I think you guys would be a great fit." 

"Well, we'll see. But I wanted to let you know. I'll let you get back to work." 

"Well, thanks for letting me know. I'll tell Keith." 

"Thanks, Rich, I hope we make the right decision." 

"You will. Just trust your instincts." 

Stevie thanked him, wished him a good day and ended the call. Richard hung up, grinning at his friends' good fortune while he headed back to the studio.


	33. Chapter 33

Chapter Thirty Two 

"And obviously Stevie and Lindsey decided to join and the rest was history," Richard said. 

"But you didn't join," Colbie said. 

"You're upset I'm not a member of the band, aren't you?" 

"And Dad. I wish you guys were in more photos of the band. There aren't many photos of Dad back then." 

"Well, we weren't aware of the concept of photo bombing back then," Ken said. 

"Although, it would have been fun to do that," Richard said. "Take a photo of the band and we'd be waaaay back in the background mooning the camera and pointing at our butts." 

"Or the Rolling Stone bed photo, we could have hidden under the covers and popped out the moment the photo was taken," Ken added. 

"Too bad I didn't photo bomb the Buckingham Nicks album. I could have been in the background pointing at Stevie's boob with my tongue hanging out." 

"Do you have a copy of that album, Uncle Rich?" 

"Yes. I do, in storage though. Why?" 

"Did you...get aroused by it?" 

"Yes." 

Colbie raised her eyebrows. Richard grinned. 

"I used to lay in bed for hours touching Lindsey's naked chest and fantasize about him being my love slave." 

Ken laughed when his daughter shoved Richard's shoulder playfully. Richard winked at her and leaned his chair back while he thought. 

"I don't know if you saw the printout but I'd already seen Stevie naked before that photo." 

"The three way thing," Colbie said. 

"No. That was after the album came out. There was another incident where Stevie saw a mouse during sex with Lindsey and ran naked from her room to my room to hide from it. So, I had seen her nakedness. I was more upset than titalated because Stevie had told me that posing like that humiliated her. It was hard to become aroused when I knew that tidbit." 

"Not to mention Lindsey being in front of her made it hard to fantasize," Ken added. 

"That too." 

"Do you have a photo of it? I've never seen the album before." 

Richard googled the Buckingham Nicks album and found a good image of the album cover. He rolled away so Colbie could see it better. 

"Oh my God," Colbie said. "I'd never do something like this, I would have walked out and left Lindsey." 

"And Stevie probably would do that now. But back then she was desperate to get out of poverty and willing to do things she wouldn't do now to get noticed. Plus, Lindsey was more domineering and intimidating than he is now. Not many people had the guts to stand up to him for long. Stevie could and that why they had explosive fights but there were times when even Stevie backed down, especially if Lindsey was in berserker mode. I don't know exactly what went on in the studio that day, I was at work and saw Stevie after it happened. But my feeling is I'm sure Lindsey threw a fit when Stevie protested being topless or threatened to and she backed down. Stevie's also a peacemaker like me and she probably didn't want a scene in the middle of a photo shoot. I don't know for sure but knowing Lindsey, that's my theory. Lindsey could get out of control in a heartbeat back then." 

Richard noticed the strickened look on Colbie's face. 

"What is it, hon?," he said. 

"I read Dad's manuscript when he was writing it. Have you read the book?" 

"No. And I've never read Mick or Carol Ann's books. I have my own memories and I don't want them mixed up with others. Why? Is there something you didn't like?" 

Colbie swallowed hard and nodded and Ken took her hand. 

"I'm guessing you're thinking of the time Lindsey nearly strangled me to death when I accidentally erased his guitar part," he said to her. 

"Oh yeah, yeah," Richard said, taking Colbie's other hand when she nodded without speaking. "Yeah, um...I nearly did the same to Lindsey before your dad stopped me. Yeah, I can imagine how horrible it was for you to read that. I'm sorry, kiddo. I had no idea that was in the book. You really didn't pull any punches when you wrote it," he said to Ken while Ken pulled her daughter's chair close and rubbed her back tenderly. 

"I was hesitant at first because I wondered what the band would think but then I decided I wasn't gonna sugarcoat anything and that included that episode. I did know Colb was reading my work but sometimes she'd come and get pages when I wasn't there and put them back when she was finished. That's what she did when she read that was part. I was going to hide that part from her but I got busy and it slipped my mind. The next thing I knew I was in the kitchen eating lunch and she comes running in, crying uncontrollably and just flings her arms around my neck and wails about how Lindsey could have killed me just for making a simple mistake. I wanted to kick myself at that point. It took awhile to calm her down and her mom finally had to help after she passed by the kitchen and heard her. I felt like such an ass for forgetting to hide the pages or at least not being in the room when she read them." 

Richard scooted his chair closer to Colbie and gave her a sideways hug and a kiss on the cheek. Colbie smiled and returned the hug and kiss. 

"Did...Lindsey ever do anything like that to you?," she asked Richard. 

"Choke me? No. Belittle me. Yes, on occasion. But he belittled everyone at some point back then. He's better now, much better, although he's still capable of snide remarks and being an ass but what he did to your father, I can't see him doing now. He's calmer, more mature and Stevie isn't in his face day in and day out which was definitely a trigger for him. Plus we were all living in an intense, drama filled, high stress bubble day after day and all of us went a bit nutty from time to time. Not to mention the Record Plant is dark and no windows and it's like being in a frickin' cave. And Lindsey has narcissistic tendencies and that also contributed to it. Not trying to excuse his behavior that day, just explain and put it into perspective for you." 

"Thank you," Colbie said, tightening her sideways hug on him. Richard smiled and tightened in return. 

"Lindsey's not evil," he said. "I don't think his intention was to kill Ken when he did that. He just was a rageaholic back then and once he got in a rage, he lost control of himself. He did snap out of it just in time though, otherwise your father would be six feet under right now." 

"And what he did didn't make you want to quit?," Colbie asked Ken. 

"Well, yeah, I did consider it and nearly did. But Lindsey did apologize profusely and the others begged me not to go and in the end, I weighed that episode against the fact that Lindsey had never harmed me before and I decided he wasn't a threat to me. I actually wanted to  
stay anyway. Despite everything that happened, we were a family. Being in that environment bonded us. Kinda like when plane crash victims bond. That's one reason Rich and me kept going back and producing for them all those times, because we formed a kinship with them and they with us." 

"And then Mikey came along and moonwalked his way into your heart and you defected, you filthy betrayer scum." 

"Actually, it was because of your mullet," Ken said while Colbie giggled. "I took one look at it and said I can't work with you if you look like a dork so I fled." 

"Fled to a black man who looked like a white woman," Richard said. 

"Okay yes, but Mike was a nice guy. I enjoyed working with him and he had a lot of interesting stories about being in the Jackson 5 and his life in general." 

"Do you think he molested kids, Dad?" 

"No," Ken said, shaking his head emphatically. "He was fond of children and child-like himself in many ways but I can't see him molesting a child, not after I got to know him. That BS about him molesting boys was dreamed up by jealous, greedy people in order to blackmail and destroy him. I could be wrong but that's my feeling. Regardless, I was heartbroken when he died. He had so much more to give the world and the way he died was just a senseless waste." 

Colbie nodded, again wishing she could have seen all these things firsthand with her father and uncle. Except the strangling. The thought of how close her father came to dying at Lindsey's hands made her shiver. She decided she wanted a happy memory now to get her mind off the image of Lindsey strangling her father. 

"Could you write or talk about the holidays? Did you guys celebrate with the band?" 

"Yeah, we went to a couple of holloween and Christmas parties with them and birthday parties. Not Thanksgiving though, although we did have Turkey dinner if we happened to be in the studio at that time," Richard said. 

"We also had new year's eve parties that were fun," Ken said. 

"Oh yeah and some parties in general," Richard said. "Parties happened all the time." 

"How about Christmas or Halloween then?" 

Richard and Ken looked at one another while they thought. Then Richard chuckled. 

"Okay, one Halloween party coming right up," he said, turning to the keyboard.


	34. Chapter 34

Chapter Thirty Three

"So...the party I'm thinking of took place during the recording of Tusk. And since that whole period was really stressful and chaotic, we all welcomed the chance to have some spooky Halloween fun for a night. There is a photo of the band in their Halloween costumes but not me and Ken because we weren't in the band.  Wait, I'll show you the photo I'm talking about. 

He searched Google and Ken aaahed in recognition when he enlarged it for Colbie to see. The band members were standing together. Lindsey was dressed as a priest, Mick was a vampire, John was a Nazi officer, Christine was mammy and Stevie was white faced, dressed in white with a long white wig.

"Is that Stevie?," Colbie said, pointing to her.

"Yes," Richard said.

"What is she supposed to be?," Colbie said.

"Ghost. I think?," Richard said. "I made a joke about her costume that I'll include in the story but I believe she was going for ghost."

"Chris and John's costumes weren't very PC," Colbie joked.

"Hon," Ken said, "back then there was no such thing as PC, at least as a term. The mammy costume, for one, was worn over the years by several people I knew, men and women. No one said anything about it, at least none that I know of, although I'm sure people did find it offensive. But you're right. In this day and age if Chris and John wore those costumes to a party and a photo ended up online, they'd be savaged for their insensitive costume choices."

"Not to mention Stevie would be lambasted by the albino community."

Ken laughed.

"And Goths would protest against Mick," Ken added.

"And Lindsey...well, um, I suppose Catholics would say something but then again maybe not. All I know is I thought it ironic that he was dressed as a priest when the man was doing a lot of heathen things back then."

"What year was this?," Colbie said, pointing to the photo.

"Um...78, before the album was finished," Ken said. "Because like Rich said, we really needed a break from all the craziness."

"Is that why you have a hard time working on the Tusk book, Dad?"

"Mainly. It's just that Tusk was a really bad time overall and had a lot of bad memories that I don't want to dredge up. I'm reluctant to sit and write and remember all that."

"Then I forsee two alternatives, actually three," Richard said.

"And the three alternatives are..."

"Skip Tusk and write a book about Mirage. Second, write a children's book like The Adventure of Bunny Flopsy the Engineer Rabbit or third, write your memoirs like, Ken Caillat, My Life, Career and Sexual Conquests."

Ken eyed him while his daughter laughed.

"Okay," Ken said, "first idea...if I skipped Tusk and wrote about Mirage, people would be asking nonstop where the Tusk book is and hound me till I wrote it. Secondly, I wouldn't mind writing a children's book but not the one you suggested and third, Hell no, I'm not writing about me and my sexual conquests, I'll leave that for you to write."

"You mean I write a book about my conquests and call it, My Momma Named Me Dick for a Reason?"

Colbie bent over laughing while Ken gave his friend a long, hard stare. Richard shrugged and gave him a look of innocence in return. 

"My esteemed friend, is this why you frequently call yourself, Dick Dash? Is that a comment on your lovemaking technique?"

"My esteemed friend, Dick Dash is my action hero name. Because we all know I'm really an international spy slash ninja who has been trained in the secret art of Spider Karate where I'm able to kill someone by breathing on them in a certain way."

"Colb, go ask Kong to call Dickie's doctor and see if poor Rich can get an appointment to determine if he has early onset dementia."

Colbie giggled when Richard raised his eyebrow. 

"If I have dementia, why are you sitting here with me?"

"Because your confused ramblings entertain me and Colb. Plus, we're watching over you in case you wander away and get lost or fall down the stairs or castrate yourself with hedge clippers. Now be a good mental patient and start the story so you'll have something to do that won't involve you leaping off the roof because you think you're Superman."

"I'm a mental patient because I've spent years with him," Richard said to Colbie. "Think I mentioned that already. But anyway, I'll do as my master commands and write the story. So...Halloween was on a..."

He googled the day of the week Halloween was on in 1978.

"Tuesday. So we went into the studio early that day to get some work done before the party. This was at the Village Recorder Studio in LA. It was early in the recording of Tusk but it was already wild and hedonistic. But as the story opens, my esteemed friend and me were sitting at the soundboard while the band worked on a song."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Richard and Ken were bored. At the moment, they were sitting together at the soundboard, an opened bag of candy corn between then. They were mindlessly popping candy corn in their mouths while watching Lindsey record Not That Funny in the iso booth. Richard hated the song. Since Rumours, Lindsey had amped up the victrolic in his songs to Stevie and frankly, he thought the lyrics to this song were childish, especially since Stevie had always risen above such pettiness. It amazed him that his friend could treat Stevie this way, especially since Stevie always tried to be civil to him. Frankly, he was getting tired of it and he could see why Stevie always came to him for support. He would too if he was in her shoes.

The studio door opened and Diane, the receptionist, came inside. Behind her were two older men. One was carrying a large, wooden crate of champaign, the other one carried two large pizzas. While Diane instructed the men where to place everything, Ken and Richard watched her closely. Diane noticed them eyeing her and smiled shyly before she turned and escorted the men out of the studio. Richard and Ken watched them go and when the door was closed, Richard turned to his friend.

"She's mine, you know," he said.

"The fuck she is, Dashut, she's mine."

"No, I'm asking her out."

"No, I'm asking her out and on top of that, I'm marrying her and don't you dare try anything or I'll beat the crap outta you."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

"You know who this Diane is, don't ya, Colb?," Richard said, pausing to look at her as he point to his typing on the screen.

"Mom?," Colbie said, "Was it mom?"

"Yeah," Ken said, nodding. "She was the receptionist there and Richard had his beady little eyes on her and I said, hell no, she's mine and I went after her and wooed her and we've been together ever since."

"Not for long though. Now that she's here..."

Colbie laughed when Richard got up, out of his seat and Ken leapt up, teasingly blocking him. 

"Don't even think it, Dashut!," Ken said good naturedly to his friend while Colbie kept laughing.

"Come on, she's been with you for 8,000 years now. You're old and stale. It's my turn now!"

"And you're not old and crusty? Diane would never go for the likes of you!"

"She seemed interested in me back then."

"Yeah, well that was actually pity," Ken said, waving his hand dismissively. 

They grinned when Colbie laughed at them. Both of them sat back down in their seats.

"So, was that a recreation of the rivalry you had over mom?," Colbie said.

"Yeah, pretty much, except I won obviously. Rich here ended up with Erica, the Swedish model."

"Which was a great relationship until it wasn't and we broke up. But anyway, the point of this interlude was to let you know that the Village Recorder is where your dad and mom met and fell in love. So without further ado, back to the story...

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

As Ken and Richard listened to Lindsey in the iso booth, Richard turned a dial and looked at his friend.

"So...what are you going as tonight?," he asked Ken.

"I was thinking about the guy from that new Halloween horror movie. I've seen masks of him all over the place. And I can get a fake knife to go along with it. You?"

"Norman Bates dressed as Mother."

"Drag? Really? I'd like to see that."

"That's the only thing I could think of that wasn't a ghost, vampire, werewolf, demon, etc..."

Just then, the studio door opened and Stevie entered. She stopped behind the two men, growling deep in her throat while she watched Lindsey through the iso booth window. She walked over to Richard. Leaning over behind him, she wrapped her arms around his neck and sighed.

"Is he ever gonna be finished and let the rest of us have a turn at recording?," she said, resting her chin on the top of Richard's head. 

"Still working, Stevie," Richard said, patting her arm. "He hasn't said when he'd be finished."

Stevie groaned.

"Why are we here at all since Lindsey wants to do it all?," she said. "By the time he gets done, I'll have one thing to sing on the whole fucking album and then it'll be harmonizing with him on one note of his song."

Richard chuckled and patted her arm again before holding up the bag of candy corn to her. Stevie smiled, got two candy corn out of the bag and popped them in her mouth while Richard took a couple for himself and put the bag back on the console. 

"You're going to the party tonight, right?," Stevie said to Richard.

"Yeah, you?"

Stevie nodded.

"You, Ken, you going?," she asked, looking at him.

"Yup. Always up for a holiday party."

"With Diane."

Stevie glanced down at Richard when he said that and then looked at Ken.

"Diane? Our receptionist?," she said.

"The very same," Richard said. "He has his eye on her."

"So does Dashut but he's not getting her!"

Richard laughed when Stevie's eyebrows raised at that. She let go of Richard, leaned up, walked over to him and Richard watched, amused, as Stevie repeated the hugging him behind, chin on his head position.

"So...have we asked her out yet, Ken Caillat?," she said, glancing down at his head.

"No, we have not, we are planning to though."

"Does she like you?"

"I think so, she's been looking at us both but she's mine and mine alone."

"Ooo, Ken's marking his territory," Stevie said to Richard.

"Yes. So I'll have to be sneaky and get Diane when he isn't looking."

"I wouldn't if I were you, Rich, not if you want to keep breathing."

"Go for it, Rich, I want to watch you two fight to the death for Diane," Stevie said, playfully ruffling Ken's hair.

She laughed when the two men took playful swings of their fists at each other. Then they heard silence through the speakers and everyone looked at Lindsey who had fallen silent.

"How was that?," Lindsey asked the engineers.

"That was great, Lindsey," Ken said after pressing the microphone button.

Lindsey sighed. He took off the guitar and walked out of the iso booth, guitar in hand.

"I still think it needs another take," he said to them.

"No, it doesn't, Lindsey. It's fine," Stevie said.

"I'm not talking to you, Stevie."

"Yeah, well I'm talking to you! We're sick and tired of waiting for you to get done making random noises on this magnum opus of yours that you think is gonna sell sooooo much better than Rumours. There are four other members of this band, Buckingham, not just you!"

"Guys, come on," Ken said halfheartedly while Richard sighed angrily.

"I'm aware there are fourother members of this band, Stevie. I'm also aware that I'm the only one who doesn't want to stick to formula and what's safe!"

"What's "safe" has sold eleven million copies so far and made you very rich. I don't hear you bitchin' about the mansion you live in or the car you drive or the fact that you can take that slut of yours out to dinner every night!"

"Don't you call Carol Ann a slut!"

"Oh, sorry, I meant junkie!," Stevie said snidely.

As they argued, Stevie was aware of Richard leaning over to whisper something in Ken's ear. Ken nodded and patted him on the shoulder and Stevie fell silent and watched Richard get up, walk over to the pizza, put a few slices of it on a paper plate and walk out the door.

"Shit. Richard," Stevie said as Richard closed the door. "Ken, where's he going?"

"Upstairs till your argument ends," Ken said, glaring at both of them.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Richard peeked through the glass window in the door leading into the Maharishi Mahesh Yogi's Transcendental Meditation Center. The center was operating out of an old church and once everyone found out about it, they frequently came upstairs when it was empty to find some peace and quiet. 

Richard entered and walked down the aisles towards the front after turning on the overhead lights. Wooden pews were on either side of him and up front was a wooden podium and a table behind it that had photos of the maharishi on it along with some flowers. Richard frequently did meditation and found it helped but he thought the maharishi was a crackpot, especially after hearing Paul talk about his experiences with him when he was in India with the Beatles. George had also spoken about it but he was still very much enamored of the man whereas the other three shared Richard's view that he was a charlatan. Still, he, Lindsey and Mick had snuck up and listened at the door when a service was going on, giggling softly at the chanting and sermons they heard.

Richard sat down on the front pew on the left side and began to eat while he reflected on what had been going on lately in the studio. In his opinion, Lindsey had definitely flipped his lid. Not just by insisting they do everything contrary to what they did on Rumours but also cutting almost all his hair off. It disturbed and frightened him and he truly wondered if his friend was having a mental breakdown.Richard sighed when he heard the door opening behind him.

"Richard?," Stevie said tentatively. "Can I come and sit with you?"

Richard nodded, not saying anything as he looked straight ahead and ate his pizza. He heard Stevie coming up the aisle but didn't turn or acknowledge her as he chewed his food. He stiffened when Stevie put her hand on his shoulder.

"Forgive us," she whispered as she squeezed it. 

"I do forgive you,"Richard said softly, "but that doesn't mean I have to sit there and listen to another petty argument for the umpteenth time."

Stevie squeezed his shoulder again and Richard felt her lean over him before feeling a gentle kiss on the top of his head. Then she let go and as she walked around him, Richard saw her carrying a paper plate with two pizza slices on it and two cans of Coke. She gave one of the cans to Richard and he thanked her as she sat down beside him.

"It's peaceful here," Stevie said while they ate. 

"Yeah, except when the crazies are up here chanting."

"You don't approve?," Stevie said amused.

"I approve of transcendental meditation. I don't approve of him," Richard said, pointing to the photo of the maharishi on the table.

"Oh yeah, he is a nutcase," Stevie said, nodding.

They fell silent for a few minutes while they ate their food. 

"Richard?." Stevie finally said.

"Hm?"

"Can I ask you something as a psychologist?"

"Sure."

"Is Lindsey going insane?"Richard sighed.

"I don't know, Stevie. He's been acting irrationality ever since we started this project. The obsessive need for control, wanting to be different and do something different than Rumours, the freaking out and cutting his hair. They seem like the acts of someone who's losing his grip on reality."

"All I wanted was to tell Lindsey that the rest of us want a chance to record too and that becomes an argument for him. I know you're sick of it, so am I. I don't blame you for coming up here. It shut Lindsey up again actually and Ken is furious. Hell of a way to start Halloween. I'm determined to have fun tonight though. I'm not going to a party to have a feud with him."

Richard nodded, food in his mouth. He felt Stevie move closer to him and he paused when she put her arm around him and laid her head on his shoulder. Richard put his plate down beside him and rubbed her arm while Stevie closed her eyes. 

"Do you regret meeting us that day? We've made your life a mess," Stevie murmured, her eyes closed.

"No, I don't regret it at all. And my life is not as big a mess as you think," he said softly.

"But now you have to sit and watch Lindsey and me fight day after day after day. Why you came back after the shit that happened during Rumours is beyond me."

"I came back because everyone downstairs is my friend and because I enjoyed working with everyone. It wasn't all bad times, Stevie."

"Yes but it seems like every day it's getting worse. Richard, I don't think any of us will last if this escalates. Not even Rumours was this bad, apart from Lindsey strangling..."

Richard flinched and Stevie trailed off as she rubbed his arm and softly apologized. She lifted her head and Richard turned his head as she gazed at him. Then she leaned in and caught his lips. Richard was stunned and jerked his head back.

"Wait, we can't, Stevie," he said. "Relationships are complicated enough in the group without us forming one."

"I know, Stevie said, stroking his beard. "It's just that out of every man I've known, you're the kindest, sweetest, most understanding one I've ever known. I wish things had been different between us."

"I'll always be your friend, Stevie. I'll always support you and be there for you but I won't become the third side of a love triangle with you and Lindsey."

"Lindsey isn't my boyfriend anymore."

"But you still love him and he still loves you and he's still jealous of you. I've gotten enough grief from him without him getting on me about being your boyfriend. He's already raked Mick over the coals for that."Stevie nodded. 

"I do love you, Richard. You've always been there for me."

"And I love you for the same reasons. I just want us to remain friends. Best friends."

Stevie nodded and gave him a soft peck on the cheek. Richard smiled, took her hand and squeezed it. They heard the door opening and Richard was relieved to see Ken coming inside with pizza and a bottle of beer. He walked past his friends and got behind the podium.

"And I say to you, congregation, that the only way to avoid the damnation of hellfire is to repent of your sins and come to Jesus Christ!"

Richard and Stevie snickered at Ken. Ken feigned anger at his friends.

"It is no laughing matter, ye sinners. You wish to burn in the eternal fires of hell?," Ken yelled.

"If I go to hell, can I bring the pizza?," Richard asked him.

"No! There is no pizza in Hell, sinner. There is only flaming pizza covered in brimstone. Hallelujah!"

He smiled and stepped away from the podium while his friends laughed. He settled down beside Stevie with his food.

"Lindsey and the others are eating in the lounge so I came up here to Yogi Bear's cave," he said, nodding his head at the Maharishi's photo. "I think Lindsey is going to let the rest of you record for awhile."

"Good, about time," Stevie said. 

"I let Lindsey have it after you left," Ken said to Richard. "Frankly, I'm tired of him chasing you out of the studio. Man needs to grow up! Stevie's right. He's had the iso booth to himself since we started work. He can let the rest of the band have a turn."

"Frankly, I'm tired of listening to that Not That Funny song," Richard said

"Thank you! So am I," Stevie said. 

"That and the what makes me think I'm the one or I can love him but I can't walk out. Sheesh. Relationship is over, get over it and move on. I'm not taunting him in my songs like a five year old."

She shook her head.

"But I won't get into that. Not while we're eating. So, you guys excited about the party tonight?"

So the three friends sat together in the converted church talking, eating and relaxing away from the turmoil of the studio.


	35. Chapter 35

Chapter Thirty Four

“So the Maharishi person was liked by more than just the Beatles?” Colbie said. 

“Yeah, but he had a cult of personality thing going on,” Richard said, looking back at her as he rested from typing. “A lot of people fell for his shtick, not just the Beatles. Actually, not even all the Beatles fell for it. It was mainly George that looked up to him. That John Lennon song Sexy Sadie was written about his disillusionment with the guy.”

“And Stevie really wanted a relationship with you?” Colbie said.

“Yeah, was that for real? Did I miss walking in on something by about a minute,” Ken said. 

Richard cleared his throat while Ken and Colbie stared at him. 

“Well, she acted like it at the time,” he said. “Not sure if she really wanted a relationship or if that was just a spur of the moment thing. She loves Lindsey, you know that, Ken. She just couldn’t put up with him at that time and he was making her miserable and I wasn’t so she might have formed a relationship with me if I’d allowed it. Problem is, I wasn’t about to add another mess to the list of messes. We remained good friends and that was that.”

“Darn, I was hoping for some soap opera love triangle thing here,” Colbie teased. 

“Sorry, you aren’t gonna get any when it came to me and Stevie,” Richard said with a shrug.

He eyed Ken when his friend told him to scoot again. Rolling his eyes, he got up while Colbie giggled. Ken got in the seat and grinned while he typed.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Picture this, a darkened control room. A lone man sits at the console sipping coffee. Suddenly, the door opens and the man spins around. Suddenly, a woman enters. She is young with messy curly hair, an angelic face and knockers to die for. She is wearing a skin tight catsuit like something Mrs. Peel wore in the Avengers. The man is flabbergasted as the woman howls like a cougar, jumps on him and savages him unmercifully.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

“Stop!” Richard said, slamming his hand down on the keyboard while Colbie bent over laughing. “You know, when I started this thing I meant it to be a serious project.”

“Really? Mister Keggar Ken and the Cheeseburger?” Ken said to him. 

“That was because you were coming over and I was wanting to teach you a lesson about being nosy. Now scoot, I want to write about the party.”

Ken let out a world weary sigh and got up from the seat while Colbie laughed. 

“Richard Dashut, the plague that is my life,” he said, melodramatically as he walked back to his seat.

“Oh button it, Cutlass,” Richard said as he sat back down. “I need your help on this.”

“Need my help? You just said you wanted to write it yourself,” Ken said as he settled back down in his seat. 

“I need you to reminisce with me but I’ll be the one that writes it.”

“Reminisce with you? Is that sorta like a Vulcan mind meld or something?”

Colbie laughed.

“It must have been fun being at the console with you guys while you did all this banter,” she said. 

Richard shrugged. 

“After ninety two takes of Don’t Stop, we need something to prevent us from tearing our eyes out.”

“Yeah, I agree. Gotta be something more to listen to than Packing Up, Shacking Up four thousand times in a row. Got to where I was probably muttering the song lyrics in my sleep.”

“And throwing them randomly into conversation,” Richard said. “Say, I heard that Nixon is being interviewed by Frost and it’s going to be broadcast on chain, keep us together.”

Colbie giggled. Richard smiled and winked and turned back around in his seat. 

“So…after the lovefest at the Recorder, we all went home to prepare for the party. I had to prepare quickly since Ken was picking us up in his little Audi from hell.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Richard finished adjusting his wig while he stood in front of a wall mirror. He had just finished his Norman Bates Mother costume and he checked himself over in the mirror. The wig he’d purchased looked similar to the one Norman wore in the movie, jet black and tied back into a bun. He picked up the fake plastic bloody knife and held it up as he grinned maniacally at his reflection. 

“Yup, much better than a werewolf,” he said.

He carried the knife with him to the kitchen where he pulled a small can of Budweiser out of the fridge while he waited for his friends. He had about half of it drunk when he heard the car horn outside. He sat the can of beer down on the table beside him, grabbed his knife and with a grin went to the door. He stood in the doorway with the knife raised and his best maniacal grin. Ken turned the headlights on high and Richard squinted as Ken got out of the car. He couldn’t see his friend behind the glare of the headlights but he heard him and Lindsey laughed.

“You need to do drag more often, Rich. A dress becomes you,” Ken yelled at him. 

Richard turned, locked his front door and walked towards the car. Once he got past the headlights, he noticed Ken was dressed in a faded blue boiler suit. He paused and looked at him. 

“Handyman?” he said, pointing to the boiler suit.

“No,” Ken said, reaching into the car. 

He came back up wearing a Michael Meyers mask.

“Told you I was thinking of this,” he said, pointing to the mask.

Richard nodded. He got in the passenger side while Ken took the mask off and put it on the seat beside him. Richard leaned over and looked in the back seat and raised his eyebrows when he noticed Lindsey was dressed as a priest. 

“Your holiness?” Richard said to him. 

“Mommy?” Lindsey countered.

“I figured as fast as Ken drives, we’ll need all the blessing we can get,” Lindsey said to Richard. 

“You’re just jealous because my car is front wheel drive,” Ken said, putting the car into gear.

“No, I’m just terrified because your front wheel drive car moves at light speed,” Lindsey said. 

“Can I have last rites, just in case Ken does go nuts and the car goes off a cliff or something?” Richard said.

Lindsey grinned. Ken rolled his eyes when he said random Latin words to Richard while he made the sign of the cross in front of his face.

“Do you wish to confess anything, my son?” Lindsey said to Richard while Ken drove. 

“Yeah, I once had a dalliance with Scooter during a night of pot and madness,” Richard said. 

“Oh, that’s why he likes to hump your leg so much,” Ken said. 

The men snickered.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

By the time the men arrived, the party was in full swing. The three friends stood at the door and looked around. 

“I see Mick but then again, it’s a little hard not to see Mick in a crowd,” Lindsey said, pointing towards the back wall where Mick was talking to John Courage. 

He was dressed as Dracula and JC was dressed as a hobo. The three men glanced at one another and made their way to the back where the beverage and snack table was. While they were walking, Richard felt a tap on his shoulder. He stopped and turned to see Stevie behind him. Stevie was dressed all in white with white pancake makeup on her face and hands and dark circles around her eyes. 

“Hi, Norman,” Stevie said with a wry grin.

“Hello…woman who fell in a barrel of cocaine.”

“I’m a ghost, you little snot,” Stevie said, swatting at his arm while Richard snickered. 

“Really? I thought you tripped and fell in your personal stash of cocaine or something.”

He laughed when Stevie playfully swatted his back. 

“Is John and Chris here?” he asked as he and Stevie walked towards the snack table. 

“Yeah, not sure where they’re at though. John is a sea captain and Christine is Mammy.”

Richard stopped short.

“Mammy? Her? That I gotta see,” he said to her. “I figured she’d go for Queen Victoria or Mary Poppins or something.”

“I heard that, Dashut!”

Richard turned and his eyes bulged when he saw Christine. She was not only in blackface but she had a red bandana covering her blonde hair and pillows stuffed down her front to make her look fat. The sight of her made Richard bust out with laughter and Christine grinned, loving the effect her costume had on her friend. 

“I knew you’d like this costume so I wore it for you,” Christine said to Richard as she curtsied. “I love your costume as well. Your frock is lovely; it brings out your eyes.”

“Well, the…blackface brings out your eyes,” Richard said. 

He walked to the snack table while Christine and Stevie followed behind, chatting animatedly about girl things. As Richard leaned over and reached into a cooler for a bottle of beer, he felt another tap on his shoulder. He stood up and looked up at Mick who was towering above him. Mick’s eyes bulged as he grabbed the ends of the cap and brought his arms up and out. 

“Watch it, I’m Norman,” Richard joked as he pointed his finger at Mick’s face.

“I’m Dracula. Dracula could drain Norman before he got one stab in,” Mick said, lowering his arms. “You look good though, mate. Very…feminine.”

“I suppose this is going to spread around the studio and amongst your friends,” Richard said. 

“Perhaps,” Mick said, shrugging. “Unless you pay me a considerable sum of money to keep my gob shut.”

“Nah, you can tell who you like. I don’t care,” Richard said, waving his hand dismissively as he walked away. 

“You’ll pay for this, Dashut,” Mick yelled out theatrically while Richard chuckled.

He looked around while he sipped his beer. Even with costumes and heavy makeup, he could tell who most of the people were. He got a couple of compliments on his costume but most people chuckled and told him he looked good in drag. He finally found John though, standing with John Stewart who was dressed as the Grim Reaper. John had his hood down which was why Richard recognized him. He walked over to his friends and greeted them. Both Johns took one look at Richard and burst out laughing. 

“Norman?” John Stewart said gleefully. 

“Yes, Death. And I’m glad you’re here because I need you to follow me wherever I go,” Richard said. 

“Yes, Master,” John Stewart said, bowing. 

“And you,” Richard said to John. “You just raided your closet then?”

“Pretty much, yeah,” John said. “You see Chrissy?”

“Yeah, she made sure I saw her when I was coming in. Never thought she’d be the Mammy type but she looks good.”

“Is Ken and Lindsey here?” John Stewart asked.

“Yeah, somewhere. I came with them. Look for the guy from Halloween and a priest.”

“Let me guess, the priest is Lindsey,” John said. 

“Bravo. You know your bandmate well,” Richard said. 

“No, I just figured Ken would never think of that costume,” John said with a shrug.

Richard nodded. He took a sip of beer and chatted with his friends while the party went on.


	36. Chapter 36

Chapter Thirty Five

“Wow, that must have been some party,” Colbie said when Richard took a break. “It would have been so fun partying with you guys.”

“Even with all the drugs and booze?” Richard said. “You seem to keep forgetting that we weren’t sober back then and the parties could get a little wild.”

“Yeah but if I was at the age I was now…”

“If you were at the age you are now, I wouldn’t let you go,” Ken interjected with a gleam in his eye. 

“Oo, protective papa just reared his head there,” Richard said with wide eyes. “It’s amazing that he lets you out of the house to tour.”

“I let her out of the house to tour because things aren’t quite as bad as they were back then,” Ken said. “Back then, I couldn’t trust myself, let alone anyone else around him…except for you!” he added quickly when Richard started to open his mouth. “I could trust you but even you had your drunken moments.”

“If you had to do what I did, you’d drink heavily too.”

“Which is why I chose not to do what you did and did my own thing.”

“What do you mean?” Colbie said. 

“Richard was the group therapist as well as being an engineer,” Ken said to her. “I worked on the music and he did too but he also worked with the band and the band members came to him with every little problem imaginable and he ended up counseling them. And I only heard what he felt I needed to hear which is why it’s a surprise that Stevie tried to start a relationship with him. Apparently, that was something I didn’t need to know.”

“Well, since nothing came of it…no, you didn’t need to know. Besides, I didn’t want Lindsey getting wind of it and starting something with Stevie which would have led to the two of them running to me and then I would have listened to more sob stories which in turn I would have had to internalize which in turn would have led me to more booze which in turn…”

“Okay, Dickie, I get it!” Ken said while Richard snickered. 

“Can I write something?”

Both men shut up and looked at Colbie when she spoke. 

“You remember something about our Halloween party?” Richard said with a twinkle in his eyes. 

“No, I was just wanting to write a memory for you, something I remember about Halloween.”

Richard and Ken glanced at each other before Richard stood up.

“By all means, my dear,” he said, gesturing to the chair before he moved away. 

“This better not be something embarrassing about me, young lady,” Ken said, wagging a finger at her in mock warning.

“No, I just want to show Uncle Rich something that happened when I was younger,” Colbie said as she sat down in Richard’s chair.

“You…went to a Halloween party one night, got drunk, got knocked up and have a secret love child,” Richard said.

“She better not have!” Ken said while Colbie laughed. 

“Okay…so, this happened when I was maybe eight or nine, something like that,” Colbie said.

She and Richard laughed when Ken thrust his head up to her shoulder and stared at the screen intently. He smiled and patted her shoulder and leaned back while Colbie began to type.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

“You guys have fun,” Mom said while she stood at the door to their house. 

Dad nodded and he, Colbie and her bratty older sister Morgan walked to their car. 

“I want shotgun!” Colbie yelled while she and Morgan ran to the car. 

“No, me, I’m older!” Bratty Morgan said. 

“Kids!” Dad said while he walked to the car. “Morgan, you had the front seat last time, it’s your sisters turn!”

“No!” Bratty Morgan said as she walked to the back door and got inside. 

“Hurray,” Colbie said, loving her daddy even more for taking her side. 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

“So, this is definitely biased towards you, considering your sister is referred to as Bratty Morgan in the story,” Richard said to Colbie while she giggled.

“Yeah, well my sister was a brat,” Colbie said. “I was just being truthful.”

“Yes but you really should put our first names, hon,” Ken said. “You should say Ken and Diane instead of Mom and Dad and you had your bratty moments too so I wouldn’t be singling your sister out and referring to her as Bratty Morgan. Just a thought.”

“Okay, Dad,” Colbie said before she resumed typing.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

After twenty minutes, they arrived at a big haunted house. Colbie was nine years old and the house looked scary. It was like the haunted houses you see in paintings of Halloween, big and dark with spooky noises coming out of it. Colbie was afraid but Ken took her hand and walked with her and her big sister up to the admission booth to get tickets. 

They stood in a long line and when they went inside, everything was dark and spooky and scary. Ken kept his daughters close while they went through a narrow corridor. Then someone jumped out at Ken, a man dressed as a zombie and yelled at him and waved his arms around. But Colbie loved her dad and she went and stomped on his foot before Ken could stop her and yelled, “YOU STOP SCARING MY DADDY!”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Richard laughed after he got done reading that.

“Why am I not surprised that she did that?” Richard said to Ken.

“Hey, my daughters love their daddy, what can I say?”

“That’s what I wanted to share,” Colbie said, getting up. 

“That’s it? There’s no more about you guys going through the haunted house?” Richard said, disappointed. “I figured there were more adventures than that.”

“Not really. Dad told me that the people jumping out weren’t trying to hurt us and I stopped stamping on their toes. Morgan thought I was an idiot too. She’d been to a haunted house before but this was my first one and she knew that all these monsters were fake. She thought I was dumb for trying to protect Dad from them.”

“Nah, that’s love,” Richard said. “You were just being a sweet, little daughter.”

“I’m just glad it was his foot and not mine,” Ken said. “My daughter has a very powerful foot. But then again, I’m sure that’s not the first time the poor guy got assaulted by some scared, overprotective kid.”  
Colbie stood up and gestured to the seat.

“After you, Uncle Rich.”

“Sure, sweetie? Sure there aren’t more memories you want to commit to paper?”

“Nah, you have enough problems keeping Dad from putting his stuff in, let alone me,” Colbie said.

“That’s very big of you,” Richard said. “Okay, well back to my memories then.”


	37. Chapter 37

Chapter Thirty Six

“Okay,” Richard said. “So the party basically got going and…”

“Uncle Rich,” Colbie said, interrupting him.

“Hm?” Richard said. 

“Did you read Dad’s book?” Colbie said.

“No.”

“You didn’t?” Colbie said, shocked. 

“No, because I would like to remember things the way I remember them without reading other people’s memories of the events. I haven’t read Mick or Carol Ann’s books for the same reason. Call it a quirk but it’s nothing against your father or his book, that’s just how I am.”

“So you don’t know what Dad wrote about you?”

“No, what did your dad write about me?” Richard said, narrowing his eyes.

“Read the book and find out, Dashut,” Ken said smugly.

“I’m just saying that in the book Dad said everyone came to you with their problems and you didn’t tell Dad what they said unless you felt like he needed to know it.”

“Oh. Well yes, that’s true,” Richard said. “Although I should have been more open because in many ways I became a dumping ground for everyone’s gripes and problems and it was hard on me. But at the time, I thought that people came to me because they knew they could trust me and I didn’t want to violate that trust.”

“But was it the same with Dad. We’re there some things you kept from him?” Colbie said, looking at her father.

“Sometimes. I mean, I had a private life, same as Richard. What are you getting at?” Ken said.

Colbie grinned and looked back at Richard who was now perplexed. 

“Dad got crabs in his beard, did you know that? Because that was in the book,” Colbie said.

There was a long moment of silence while Richard stared at Colbie in shock before he looked at Ken. 

“Crabs? As in venereal disease kind of crabs?” he said to Ken.

Ken shifted in his seat and nodded sheepishly. 

“How the hell d’ya get crabs in your beard, Caillat?”

“I don’t know exactly. All I know is Nina saw me scratching my beard and figured it out,” Ken said.

“Dad thought it was from that naked groupie that you guys found in your beds that you slept with,” Colbie said.

Richard was taken aback. 

“Yeah but I didn’t get crabs in my beard. What’d you do, Caillat, let her sit on your face or something?”

“No, I didn’t do anything to her. I just slept beside her.”

“So…how did the crabs get to your beard then if you just slept beside her?” Richard said while Colbie giggled.

“I’m not sure, Rich. This is why I never bothered to tell you,” Ken said. 

“Well yeah, I would have teased you unmercifully back then if I’d known.”

“Which is why I kept my mouth shut,” Ken said while Colbie giggled harder. 

“He didn’t know what crabs were either,” Colbie said when she sobered up. “He’d never heard of them before.”

Richard was shocked again. 

“At your age, you didn’t know what crabs were?” he said to Ken.

“No, I didn’t know what crabs were. I’d never heard of anyone having crabs before me.”

“Me neither. But I knew what crabs were by the time I graduated high school. You lead a very sheltered life, did you, Cutlass? Spend your days reading the Bible and watching Davy and Goliath instead of reading Playboy and watching porn?”

“Apparently so because I guess I wasn’t a raging horndog like you were, Richie.”

“I wasn’t a horndog but I had friends who had learned a thing or two about the world. Um…you knew what syphilis and herpes and the clap was, right?”

“Yes, I knew what those were,” Ken said while Colbie laughed. 

“Phew. Glad you knew something. For a moment, I thought you and your family were Amish or something,” Richard said, pretending to wipe his sweaty brow while Ken eyed him. “Anything else he wrote about that I probably didn’t know about, Colb?”

“Um…he chased a lot of skirts?”

“Eh, I knew that,” Richard said. “I’d be an idiot not to see he was chasing women around back then. He continued that until he met your mom and then he decided she was the one for him and stopped.”

“Yeah, he talks a lot about his dates and things in between talking about recording Rumours.”

“So the title Making Rumours is misleading,” Richard said. “You should have called it Making Rumours While I Was On The Make apparently.”

“His dog too. Scooter um…screwed some dogs in it too.”

“I wanted it to be a sort of mini-memoir of my experiences during that time,” Ken said. “I didn’t feel like doing a straight technical manual on the recording of Rumours. I thought I’d talk about my life too.”

“And I understand that but you actually copped to having crabs in your beard? I mean, I would have filed that little tidbit away in my mind and never spoke of it to anyone so kudos, Cutlass, for having the guts to tell everyone that.”

“You’re afraid of flying too. Dad said you had to get in a helicopter after a concert and Dad told the pilot to show off because he knew it’d scare you.”

Ken snickered when Richard eyed him.

“Yes. He did that frequently,” Richard said while Ken grinned. 

“And as I noted in the book, Richard would always tell me he’d get me for it but he rarely did,” Ken said. “Because he knew I could take him.”

“Ha! I think it’s me who could take you, old man. I was younger, leaner, in better shape and cuter than you. I am your superior in many ways.”

Colbie laughed when her dad shot an exasperated look her way.

“Anyway, as you can see from the fact he didn’t know about the crabs in my beard, I didn’t tell him everything that went on in my life.”

“I can’t believe you did get crabs in your beard, Ken. I’ve had a beard for my entire adult life and never once have I gotten crabs in it.”

“Well, bravo, Dashut. Keep talking and I’ll find a way to put crabs in your beard and then laugh as you try to get them out.”

“How did you get them out by the way? Is that why you suddenly went to no beard?”

“No, there’s a special shampoo Nina knew about that you use much like lice shampoo.”

“And Nina knew about crabs shampoo because…”

Colbie laughed when Ken sighed while Richard trailed off and looked at him, waiting for him to answer.

“I’m just saying, how did she know about crabs shampoo. Sounds like she had experience with it.”

“If you’re implying I caught crabs from her, I highly doubt it. I still think it was that naked woman in my bed.”

“And I think it’s not unless the crabs in that woman’s pubes were able to see your beard and took a hike from her crotch to your face because they wanted a change of scenery.”

“It could have been in the bedding,” Ken said. “Can crabs live in bedding?”

“I don’t know. I’m not a crabs expert,” Richard said while Colbie laughed harder. “I suppose they could but then you gotta wonder what that girl was doing to the bedding that caused the crabs to be close enough to your face that night. What? Was she doing the naked splits on your bed or something before you came home?”

“Your guess is as good as mine, Richard. All I know is once I used the shampoo, the problem was solved. And Nina used it too as a precaution so if it was her on the off chance, she no longer had the problem. Although I never saw her scratch anything so as I said, I doubt it was her.”

“Anyway, perhaps we should get back to the subject of the Halloween party,” Richard said to Colbie. “Unless you have something else to tell me about the book?”

“You used to make bad jokes in the control room and laugh at your own bad jokes like a hyena and that would make everyone else laugh because you were laughing?”

Richard looked at Ken. Ken shrugged.

“Okay, some of your jokes and skits were incredibly lame. There, I said it!” Ken said. “You and Mick were always coming up with bizarro things like the airplane going down or stabbing Mick with his drumstick. I mean, sometimes your mind scared the hell outta me, Dashut. I kept wondering what went through it from the way you acted.”

“And yet you laughed at my bizarro humor.”

“Because I was laughing at the way you laughed at your own jokes. My daughter just got done saying that. You had an infectious laugh, I’ll give you that.”

“Maybe I should read this book since Ken apparently has said much about me,” Richard said to Colbie.

“Yeah, he talked about you all the time in the book.”

“Yup, definitely must read it then,” Richard said, eyeing Ken while he gave him an innocent look. “But anyway, as I was saying, the Halloween party was just getting started when we arrived…”


	38. Chapter 38

Chapter Thirty Seven 

Richard drank a beer while he walked around and talked to people at the party. He chatted with several people, most of them making wisecracks about his costume. He'd was on his second beer when he was approached by his friend, Steve Ross, who told him he'd brought some blow for him and his friends. Richard excused himself and went off to get some. By the time he got there, Ken was waiting his turn along with Lindsey. 

"Ah, Your Holiness," Richard said, bowing to him. "You are partaking of the blow also?" 

"Yes, my son, because being coked out of your mind is akin to a religious experience," Lindsey said before making the sign of the cross in front of his body. 

When it came time for Richard to partake, he'd noticed that someone had already cut a line for him. Smiling he picked up one of the short straws on the table, put it up his nose and inhaled it. He thanked Steve for the hit before he moved back and let Lindsey do a line. While he stood beside Ken, he noticed neither Stevie nor Mick was present. Thinking this odd, he asked Steve if he'd told them about the cocaine and he looked around again after Steve told Richard that he had. The lights had been turned down a bit while spooky music was playing out of the hi-fi and it was harder to spot anyone, including Mick's gigantic body. 

Lindsey finished doing a line and let Ken move ahead of him. While they waited for Ken, Lindsey came up beside Richard and nudged him. 

"Can't help thinking about the one Halloween when we saw the film festival and took Stevie to the graveyard," he said. 

Richard grinned, thinking fondly on that night. 

"Yeah, that was a blast," Richard said to him. "Made even better by the fact that we didn't have much money so having enough to do all that made it extra special." 

Lindsey nodded as he watched Ken do a line that'd been cut for him. 

"I think we should do it again and tie Ken to the bumper," he said loudly. 

Richard giggled when Ken finished the line and looked at Lindsey as he leaned back up. 

"Tie me to the bumper?" he said, walking up to him. 

"Yeah, take you for a Halloween night joyride," Lindsey said. 

"No thanks, I'd rather sit in the car for a joyride," Ken said. 

"Anyone seen Mick and Stevie?" Richard said. "Steve said he told them about the coke but I haven't seen them."  
Ken and Lindsey glanced at each other before looking around. 

"Shit, those two would have knocked everyone down to get a line," Lindsey said. "Where the fuck are they?" 

"I would say they're outside except Rich said Steve told them about the coke so it wouldn't be like them to go outside without getting a bump," Ken said. 

"Maybe they did already and we just didn't see them," Richard said shrugging. 

"Hey man, Stevie or Mick take their turn yet?" Lindsey asked Steve. 

"Not that I know of. I told them about it though and I left to tell others and just assumed they were going to come over here. Haven't seen them since." 

"You don't think the two of them..." Ken said, trailing off. 

"After determining that their relationship was a danger to the band? I hope not," Lindsey replied. "Still, if they're both drunk or high and..." 

Richard and Ken frowned when he trailed off and fell silent as he stared off to his right with a shocked look on his face. Richard and Ken looked where he was looking and Richard's eyes bulged when he saw Carol Ann waving at Lindsey. She was dressed as a princess with a satin purple ball gown, satin purple gloves that went up to her elbows and a rhinestone tiara in her hair. 

"Wait, who invited her?" Lindsey muttered to Ken and Richard. "I didn't." 

"Don't look at me, man. I don't talk to her," Richard said. 

"Me neither," Ken said. 

"Lindsey!" Carol Ann called to him in a shrill voice. 

Lindsey waved half-heartedly, trying not to look angry as Carol Ann walked up to him. 

"Hey, how come you didn't tell me about this party, Lindsey?" Carol Ann said. 

"Um...musta slipped my mind, babe, sorry. I thought I had told you," Lindsey said, trying to lie convincingly. "You look nice." 

"Yeah, thanks. You look...weird," Carol Ann said, looking his costume over. 

"Well, I wanted something besides a vampire or werewolf." 

"But a priest?" Carol Ann said, making a face. 

"Anyway," Lindsey said, trying to change the subject. "Why don't you get a beer or something and I'll meet you at the drinks table and..." 

Lindsey trailed off when Carol Ann breezed past him to the coke table. Steve and Lindsey looked at each other. 

"Carol Ann, that's not for you," Lindsey said to her. 

But Carol Ann was already at the table and waiting for the man behind it to cut her a line. The man was a friend of Steve and he knew who was allowed access to the cocaine. He looked at Carol Ann and looked at Steve. Steve shook his head no. 

"Sorry but only certain people are allowed to do a line," the man said as gently as he could. 

Carol Ann's nostrils flared as she gave him a looks could kill glare. 

"I want a line and I want it now!" she snarled at the man. 

"Carol Ann," Lindsey said, coming up and taking hold of her arm. 

"No, Lindsey, I want some fucking coke. I'm a guest here too!" she said. 

Steve looked at Richard and caught his eye. 

"She is?" he mouthed to him. 

Richard bit his lip, holding in his laughter. As he stood there, he felt someone come up behind him and turned to see Stevie at his shoulder. 

"Hey, there you are, we were looking for you," Richard said as Ken turned to look at her. 

"Sorry. Robin wanted to talk to me in private," Stevie said. 

"Have you seen Mick?" Ken asked. 

Stevie shook her head. 

"Give me some fucking blow now!" 

The three friends turned their attention to Carol Ann who was becoming more and more enraged with each passing moment. The man behind the table looked at Steve again. Steve rolled his eyes. 

"Give her a line, man, before she goes on a rampage," Steve said to his friend. 

His friend nodded, relieved that the situation was being diffused. Richard and Stevie shared a look when Carol Ann calmed down and a smug look settled on her face as the man put some coke on a mirror on the table and started to cut it into a line with a razor blade. Ken made eye contact with Richard and jerked his head away from the table, wanting his friend to follow him. Richard nodded and they walked away with Stevie following them. 

"Who invited her?" Stevie said to her friends when they were out of earshot. 

"Apparently, she invited herself," Ken said. "Lindsey never told her about the party but she found out anyway and decided to come." 

"I hope she's not staying long," Stevie said. 

"You're not getting any cocaine?" Richard said. 

"Not with her there being a bitch. I can wait," Stevie said, waving her hand dismissively. "Did you guys manage to get some?" 

He and Ken nodded. 

"Lindsey too," Richard said. "We all managed to do a line before she showed up." 

"What Lindsey sees in that bitch..." Stevie said, shaking her head as she trailed off. 

"Speaking of Lindsey," Richard said. "He reminded me of the night we saw the film festival and drove to the graveyard." 

A wistful look settled on Stevie's face. 

"Wow, that was a great night. Except for you scaring me," she said to Richard. 

"Eh, I meant no harm from it," Richard said amicably as he patted her shoulder. 

"They apparently want to do it again and tie me to the bumper of the car this time," Ken said to Stevie. 

Stevie laughed. 

"Nah, we can't tie Ken to the bumper. We need him to produce stuff," Stevie said to Richard. 

"That's true, he's too good at producing stuff to tie him to the bumper so we'll refrain," Richard said. 

"Gee, that's big of you, Dashut, thanks." 

"YOU'RE SO FULL OF SHIT, LINDSEY!" 

"Oh Christ," Richard muttered when they heard Carol Ann screaming. 

"Carol Ann, for Christ's sake, keep your voice down," Lindsey said. 

"Oh fuck you, Lindsey! I wanna know what you didn't invite me!" 

"I told you, it slipped my..." 

"BULLSHIT, LINDSEY, IT DID NOT JUST SLIP YOUR MIND! YOU PURPOSELY LEFT ME AT HOME SO YOU COULD BE WITH STEVIE TONIGHT!" 

Richard looked around. The party had completely stopped and everyone was watching Carol Ann and Lindsey except for him, Stevie and Ken. Even the music had been turned down. 

"DO I LOOK LIKE I'M WITH STEVIE? HUH?" Lindsey raged back. "STEVIE IS NOWHERE NEAR ME! SHE'S OVER THERE WITH RICHARD AND KEN!" 

"Oh really?" Carol Ann said snidely. "Who are they then? Her latest bed warmers until you can get back around to fucking her?" 

"You...bitch," Stevie snarled under her breath while Richard and Ken shared a look.   
"For your information, Carol Ann," Ken said, turning around. "I'm not screwing Stevie and neither is Richard so no, we're not her bed warmers." 

"And neither is Lindsey," Stevie said, spinning around. "What's the matter, Harris, you afraid you aren't good enough for the likes of Buckingham and he's getting some on the side with me?" 

"I know you two, I see the looks you give one another so don't fucking tell me he isn't in your bed, bitch." 

"Stevie, no," Ken said, putting his hand on her shoulder when Stevie gritted her teeth and started to walk over to Carol Ann. "She's not worth it. Come on, let's get some beers and head outside away from this." 

Stevie sighed angrily and nodded. 

"Yeah, beers sound good," she muttered. 

Richard and Ken glanced at each other once more before the three of them headed towards the beverage table.


End file.
